I just came out

Can't remember the code for the jaw-drop smiley, and can't find emoticon legend in the mobile version, or I would have replied with one.

hey i was just like we need more queers around here so congrats, grad.

i got married before i figured it out too.

fun times, fun times.

gay guys getting sex w/ women and here i am a perfectly good looking hetero male and I cant get a girl to even ask me my name.

  On 11/6/2011 at 6:55 AM, disparaissant said:

hey i was just like we need more queers around here so congrats, grad.

i got married before i figured it out too.

fun times, fun times.

How did you make it fun? I mean, how many women get married hoping the love of their life turns out gay, anyway?

  On 11/6/2011 at 7:02 AM, marf said:

gay guys getting sex w/ women and here i am a perfectly good looking hetero male and I cant get a girl to even ask me my name.

Careful, my wife might ask...

please rank the most popular electronic musicians in order of your musical, and then sexual, preference.

have you two had make up sex yet?

  Quote

How did you make it fun? I mean, how many women get married hoping the love of their life turns out gay, anyway?

well it was not in any way amicable, id been cheated on and that made going 'you know ive been having second thoughts about everything' really easy.

  On 11/6/2011 at 7:54 AM, underscore said:

have you two had make up sex yet?

THAT would make it fun

Like others have said, better now than later.

It can probably only get better from here on out, right? I mean it seems like the hardest part is over. I wish you and her the best

  On 11/6/2011 at 7:54 AM, underscore said:

have you two had make up sex yet?

On Halloween, actually. My first failure. New spin on the phrase "trick or treat".

  On 11/6/2011 at 4:27 AM, OneToThirtySix said:

  On 11/6/2011 at 4:23 AM, Z_B_Z said:

ive been duped on this forum before with this kind of thing, so im wary of giving support. but if youre being serious, good for you. i commend your courage, especially if youre married.. better late than suffering youre entire life..

"Suffering" is not accurate, but when the talk about babies became serious, I realized it wasn't fair for her...

it is kinda like you came out when she really wanted you to cum in, innit

edit: i still can't tell if this thread is real. if it is, it is pretty brutal that society reared you so that you never wanted anyone to know your true sexual preference. people are shitty

  On 11/6/2011 at 9:04 AM, underscore said:

  On 11/6/2011 at 4:27 AM, OneToThirtySix said:

  On 11/6/2011 at 4:23 AM, Z_B_Z said:

ive been duped on this forum before with this kind of thing, so im wary of giving support. but if youre being serious, good for you. i commend your courage, especially if youre married.. better late than suffering youre entire life..

"Suffering" is not accurate, but when the talk about babies became serious, I realized it wasn't fair for her...

 

it is kinda like you came out when she really wanted you to cum in, innit

 

edit: i still can't tell if this thread is real. if it is, it is pretty brutal that society reared you so that you never wanted anyone to know your true sexual preference. people are shitty

I don't have to convince you, and it doesn't matter. My nature is to assume people are good until they prove otherwise. My parents' methods were flawed, providing messages of tolerance that conflicted with their religious-based reactions. They didn't force me to submit, but I was afraid of the uncertainty that insubordination would bring.

They aren't shitty people, they are just stupid and encountered something they would never be able to handle.

That said, there are a lot of my friends that are concerned about me right now, which has made me see just how much support I'll have once the word gets around, so I've told myself I would rather be hated by a few for being real than be loved by all for being fake.

Good for you, bro

Congrats mate, the rest of your life starts here. It's going to be tough on you and your wife for a while, but in the long run you're going to feel a lot better - and hopefully, so's she. You're not the first bloke to be in this situation by any means.

Right now, your wife is probably going to need some space. I suggest you give it to her while you work out what comes next.

Presumably you do love her, at least in a sense. When she's had some time to process the shock I suggest you emphasise that to her - that the role she played in your life wasn't just an interchangable beard, that the laughter and the good times you had together weren't fake, and that this is something you didn't necessarily realise the full extent of until you felt you had to come out.

Even if that's not all strictly true - I don't know your situation - it would be very kind of you to put it that way to her.

It's not going to be easy however it goes down, but don't forget the bright side here. You're about to discover who your real friends are, you're going to find out who truly loves you, and you're about to enjoy a freedom to live life the way you want which probably seemed a distant dream before. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that in a year's time, you're going to be happier than you've ever been. Good luck.

Also, if you need support or advice, considering getting in touch with an LGBTQ outreach/support organisation. I don't know any in the US, but in the UK your first port of call might be Stonewall - http://www.stonewall.org.uk. I'm sure there are similar organisations over there who could offer queer-friendly legal advice, counselling, contacts etc... If you're not involved in any kind of queer scene locally (just making assumptions here) it could be a very helpful point of contact.

  On 11/6/2011 at 9:46 AM, Iain C said:

Congrats mate, the rest of your life starts here. It's going to be tough on you and your wife for a while, but in the long run you're going to feel a lot better - and hopefully, so's she. You're not the first bloke to be in this situation by any means.

 

Right now, your wife is probably going to need some space. I suggest you give it to her while you work out what comes next.

 

Presumably you do love her, at least in a sense. When she's had some time to process the shock I suggest you emphasise that to her - that the role she played in your life wasn't just an interchangable beard, that the laughter and the good times you had together weren't fake, and that this is something you didn't necessarily realise the full extent of until you felt you had to come out.

 

Even if that's not all strictly true - I don't know your situation - it would be very kind of you to put it that way to her.

 

It's not going to be easy however it goes down, but don't forget the bright side here. You're about to discover who your real friends are, you're going to find out who truly loves you, and you're about to enjoy a freedom to live life the way you want which probably seemed a distant dream before. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that in a year's time, you're going to be happier than you've ever been. Good luck.

Just this post has made me happier than I've been in a year. Thanks, I've been losing sight of why I've done this.

quit beating around the bush and just give him your digits, Iain

  On 11/6/2011 at 10:04 AM, lumpenprol said:

quit beating around the bush and just give him your digits, Iain

I'm still married, lumps...

Something tells me that cheating on her is not as big of a deal now that you're, well, gay and all. Besides if she discovers it, it will just give her something concrete to hate about you, which will help her reconstruct her identity faster as a "wronged woman." Make yourself as bad as possible in her eyes and she'll get over it quicker

Speaking of which, have you um...consummated your gayness yet? Or is it all theoretical?

Yeah, oh and ...

  On 11/6/2011 at 9:00 AM, essines said:

step aside ladies, i only like dick now.

- aaron funk

My gf always said, that the ultimate thing a man could do to a woman to crush her would be to go gay, because she's helpless then. No way to fight a penis with no penis or something.

By the way, being bisexual is probably the most natural thing in your case (as in many many others), would you say you're 100% gay or like 60, 70? Because if you get gay loved for a while and get all that experience behind you, you might realize you're getting attracted to women again (I didn't get if you had gay sex before).

Anyway, I wish both of you better times in the near future!

I wrote something really rude and removed it.

I'll just say I can't believe how little people strategize things these days at the expensive of other peoples feelings.

  On 11/6/2011 at 3:01 PM, acid1 said:

I wrote something really rude and removed it.

 

I'll just say I can't believe how little people strategize things these days at the expensive of other peoples feelings.

Let me guess. Was it "I was just thinking that whenever being asked about having kids, you can always come out of the closet as an excuse to not have kids."?

Btw, how's the misses, mr 1236?

  On 11/6/2011 at 3:11 PM, goDel said:

  On 11/6/2011 at 3:01 PM, acid1 said:

I wrote something really rude and removed it.

 

I'll just say I can't believe how little people strategize things these days at the expensive of other peoples feelings.

Let me guess. Was it "I was just thinking that whenever being asked about having kids, you can always come out of the closet as an excuse to not have kids."?

Ha! Well played.