Marriage

  On 9/24/2014 at 6:25 AM, Hoodie said:

 

  On 9/24/2014 at 1:29 AM, MadameChaos said:

What's the point of getting married? Seriously.

 

tax benefits, insurance benefits, being able to see each other in the hospital and make medical decisions for one another in worst case scenarios. being legally bound to each other has its perks.

these laws don't exist in the UK

  On 9/24/2014 at 10:18 AM, MadameChaos said:

 

  On 9/24/2014 at 6:25 AM, Hoodie said:

 

  On 9/24/2014 at 1:29 AM, MadameChaos said:

What's the point of getting married? Seriously.

 

tax benefits, insurance benefits, being able to see each other in the hospital and make medical decisions for one another in worst case scenarios. being legally bound to each other has its perks.

 

these laws don't exist in the UK

 

I agree with MadamChaos that there is a lot of strange religious/traditional baggage around Marriage which too often makes what should be a nice thing (a couple throwing a party to celebrate their relationship) into an ethically iffy snoozefest.

However on the practicality front: in the UK there are definitely tax breaks for married couples, particularly around inheritance tax. When one of a married couple dies, anything passing to the spouse will be excempt from 40% inheritance tax.

Marriage is great because it's like "Yo I wanna be with you for a really long time. I care enough to let the government know that I wanna be with you. I wanna put a piece of metal on my hand that says 'step off other potential mates, mate number one has already been thru and he/she is a badass.' " It says, "I am willing to not fake being my best around you, but to actually try and fix my shit enough so that this is sustainable." It maybe says "I am aware of the indignities of raising a child and I could go through them with you." It says "You got what I need, and you say he's just a friend, and I will have appropriate recourse if that is found not to be the case."

It's not that you can't say that stuff outside of marriage. I was pretty iffy on the issue until I did it. But it rules. More than I can convey. And that has more to do with us than with the institution of marriage - as it should, imo. It's just the official paperwork on top of a deep vein of awesome.

Looking forward to some taxx brak$$ as well yo.

  On 9/24/2014 at 2:05 PM, zazen said:

 

  On 9/24/2014 at 10:18 AM, MadameChaos said:

 

  On 9/24/2014 at 6:25 AM, Hoodie said:

 

  On 9/24/2014 at 1:29 AM, MadameChaos said:

What's the point of getting married? Seriously.

 

tax benefits, insurance benefits, being able to see each other in the hospital and make medical decisions for one another in worst case scenarios. being legally bound to each other has its perks.

 

these laws don't exist in the UK

 

 

I agree with MadamChaos that there is a lot of strange religious/traditional baggage around Marriage which too often makes what should be a nice thing (a couple throwing a party to celebrate their relationship) into an ethically iffy snoozefest.

 

However on the practicality front: in the UK there are definitely tax breaks for married couples, particularly around inheritance tax. When one of a married couple dies, anything passing to the spouse will be excempt from 40% inheritance tax.

OK great so I looked it up, you can get a tax break of around £3.85 a week http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-24309634 considering the average cost of a wedding is about £25,000 http://www.bridesmagazine.co.uk/planning/general/planning-service/2013/01/average-cost-of-wedding it would take you roughly 125 years to break even. GREAT!!!

We got married in Mexico at a nice resort for about $4k including food and drinks for guests, ceremony, reception, etc. I don't know why people spend so much on weddings except to say that most people are insufferable douchebags and what most people do is not a measure of what is right or proper.

Really it's just formalizing a commitment to a relationship, do it however you want, or don't.

A lot of baggage around it, yeah, but it's up to (and an indicator of) the will of the couple and that's the only point that matters. And in the US the governmental issues hoodie mentioned are legitimate.

Agreed, we had a $2k "wedding", no ceremony, just a bunch of food in the park, with about 40 people. Married in a courthouse. The worst Mexican brass band in the world played a quinceañera next to us. It was awesome.

how to understand the importance of the institution of marriage in our history, past and future, in our society?

we need to think about everything if we want answers. ...our biological nature vs psychological vs sociological + history vs philosophical considerations. everything!

imo the institution of marriage is important cause imo the model of traditional family is the best we know/have even in children-less families

I'm pretty sure my parents' marriage aged them in dog years. It also feels like everyone I know over 25 (myself included) has watched their parents go through a scorched earth type divorce that put the whole family on Xanax/alcohol/perma-rage. I kyan dweet, bredren.

maybe i'll reconsider it after i've amassed my personal fortune.

  On 9/24/2014 at 4:04 PM, doublename said:

I'm pretty sure my parents' marriage aged them in dog years. It also feels like everyone I know over 25 (myself included) has watched their parents go through a scorched earth type divorce that put the whole family on Xanax/alcohol/perma-rage. I kyan dweet, bredren.

I'm lucky, my parents are still happily married today, although I'm only 21 I suppose.

I was dead against the idea of marriage until I met my wife. I don't think it's for everyone, but it is for me. In conclusion, if it feels right, do it - otherwise run like the wind.

  On 9/24/2014 at 7:45 PM, westhead said:

I was dead against the idea of marriage until I met my wife. I don't think it's for everyone, but it is for me. In conclusion, if it feels right, do it - otherwise run like the wind.

this

I was walking to work one day and saw a dad with his three kids on the front porch. He was playing Sweet Child of Mine on the acoustic guitar and singing it quite badly. His three kids all looked very similar but each had their hair dyed a different color. Red, blue, and green. I could tell this weirdo had found his own version of domestic bliss.

But in all seriousness getting married should be saved for when you're hella old and don't care as much about smangin everything.

  On 9/24/2014 at 2:58 PM, MadameChaos said:

considering the average cost of a wedding is about £25,000

it's repugnant how much people spend. for many, the wedding becomes the terminus of all their narcissism and their family's.

our wedding cost less than $5k, and it was very nice. we did everything ourselves. i wrote the music for the ceremony, i had my friend play it, i made an ipod playlist. my wife made the decorations out of blueberry cedar and pine cones from a friend's ranch property.

point is, it's a racket and most people are victims.

but we didn't do it for tax breaks anyway. what a screwed motivation for marriage.

Yeah, I read it's normal to spend 1 month's salary on your engagement ring??? Cue buffer override "SSSAAAAYYYYY WHHHAAATTTT?" On the one hand, I'm glad people in the wedding business can earn a nice living, but how about buying a HOUSE or CAR or a ROOM-SIZED MODULAR SYNTHESIZER.

  On 9/24/2014 at 2:43 PM, A/D said:

Marriage is great because it's like "Yo I wanna be with you for a really long time. I care enough to let the government know that I wanna be with you. I wanna put a piece of metal on my hand that says 'step off other potential mates, mate number one has already been thru and he/she is a badass.' " It says, "I am willing to not fake being my best around you, but to actually try and fix my shit enough so that this is sustainable." It maybe says "I am aware of the indignities of raising a child and I could go through them with you." It says "You got what I need, and you say he's just a friend, and I will have appropriate recourse if that is found not to be the case."

 

 

This sounds like insecurity

Meh, take what you will, it was tongue-in-cheek and not well worded. And I certainly am insecure to some degree, but I'm comfortable saying that my marriage rises above that and challenges that.

Probably best to just leave it at "so far I am incredibly happy (in a way I didn't know was possible mix)"

Yeh that's cool, I wasnt trying to have a dig at your take on it. I can see it'd be a good way to organize all of your feels in your brain pouch

saw somebody here talking about natural things and biology ???? seriously ???

marriage has never being natural and biological, the species that keep their sexual partners are extremely rare, something like one for a million,

those religious opportunistic say things about what is natural when religion is nothing but natural

true love is what matter, your couple wont go down or get slowed by any engagements if it wasn't getting that way at the first place

i'm in couple with someone, a guy, since almost ten years, we own a restaurant, we're working all day together, live together etc ...

and we're still a strong couple, we have our disagreement but it's like we are married in a way,

marriage is an opportunity to show your love to someone and your engage both families in one,

but don't marry somebody for something practical or for any obligations, it's an obvious failure and you'll regret for the rest of your life

i may add, marriage is a consuming manner, like Valentines and Christmas to me, it's a big big business, but still,

it's cool to get married and celebrate Valentines and Christmas, but in our current society, i'd not advise people to get married and it's unfortunate

best reason to get married?

to celebrate valentines and Christmas.

~

i remember before i met my wife, i had this deep, painful longing to be known. around the fall it would become tuned to a fever pitch, but it was also one of the sweetest things.

Always skipped this thread because I hate this topic, but I'm glad I checked it out today. Quality laughs had this morning. Thanks.

  On 8/1/2012 at 7:53 AM, Xyrofen said:

Please don't contribute another wreck of a child to this world. If anything, go get sterilized, we don't need more people.

QFT. I don't get this drive people have to populate the world with copies of themselves. "Oh, it's so wonderful to see the world through their eyes." Well, that's fucking selfish. Condemning another soul to this wretched earthly life because you want to watch sesame street? Adopt a fucking cat, make it wear people clothes, and go fuck yourself.

  On 9/25/2014 at 1:40 AM, A/D said:

Yeah, I read it's normal to spend 1 month's salary on your engagement ring??? Cue buffer override "SSSAAAAYYYYY WHHHAAATTTT?" On the one hand, I'm glad people in the wedding business can earn a nice living, but how about buying a HOUSE or CAR or a ROOM-SIZED MODULAR SYNTHESIZER.

I'm getting married next year, I will be having a ring custom-made using minerals I've found myself, which saves a bit of cash! It helps that the missus has a good head on her shoulders too, and doesn't give a shit about diamonds or pointlessly shiny things. Total price should be about $500

  On 9/25/2014 at 5:10 PM, apriorion said:

Always skipped this thread because I hate this topic, but I'm glad I checked it out today. Quality laughs had this morning. Thanks.

 

  On 8/1/2012 at 7:53 AM, Xyrofen said:

Please don't contribute another wreck of a child to this world. If anything, go get sterilized, we don't need more people.

 

QFT. I don't get this drive people have to populate the world with copies of themselves. "Oh, it's so wonderful to see the world through their eyes." Well, that's fucking selfish. Condemning another soul to this wretched earthly life because you want to watch sesame street? Adopt a fucking cat, make it wear people clothes, and go fuck yourself.

A bit pessimistic, but I agree that a lot of people my age seem to be having kids (and buying houses) simply because it's the done thing, and not because they actually want to. Screw that.

my wife and i don't plan on ever having kids and we can't really buy a house any time soon, which was all well and good until fumi made fun of people living in rented accommodations, and now I'm totes self-conscious about it. wish we could live high on the hog like thems fancy-pants English teachers :(

I would have to be a millionaire to afford a home in San Francisco.

  On 9/25/2014 at 5:10 PM, apriorion said:

Always skipped this thread because I hate this topic, but I'm glad I checked it out today. Quality laughs had this morning. Thanks.

 

  On 8/1/2012 at 7:53 AM, Xyrofen said:

Please don't contribute another wreck of a child to this world. If anything, go get sterilized, we don't need more people.

 

QFT. I don't get this drive people have to populate the world with copies of themselves. "Oh, it's so wonderful to see the world through their eyes." Well, that's fucking selfish. Condemning another soul to this wretched earthly life because you want to watch sesame street? Adopt a fucking cat, make it wear people clothes, and go fuck yourself.

someone's being dramatic!! life isn't that bad. yeah, there's suffering (and some might argue that all is suffering), but there's also a lot of good things in life too, like ice cream, cuddling with your loved ones, boards of canada, petting a soft cat, walking through a forest at dusk, eating a big hearty breakfast, listening to syro, orgasms, seeing the milky way on a clear night, and smoking lots of weed. who are you to say that people are condemned to existence? yeah, life isn't all fair and some people really get the shit-end of the stick, but life can be pretty great if you accept your circumstances and work within them, instead of pining to be like kim kardashian or some shit.