Share a little joke

:(

A real old man and a real old lady are about to do each other.

The old lady says: Before we start I should warn you that I have acute angina.

The old guy says: That's a relief because your face is awful.

What did Sushi A say to Sushi B?

what do you get when you cross Luke Perry and a paper bag?

did anyone hear about that baby that was born with a glass head? scientists are still looking into it

Q: Why does it burn when I poop?

Some of these jokes aren't very funny...

The other night I was laying in bed and starting laughing and when my girlfriend asked me why I told her the truth ,which is that I'd just read that the MiniKorg 700s has 2 oscillators and 3 ring modulators (lol). Anyways she called me a dork and then I lay in silence thinking about all those ring modulators.

Not really a joke but still, 3 ring modulators! lol.

  On 2/9/2013 at 3:51 AM, DerWaschbar said:

The other night I was laying in bed and starting laughing and when my girlfriend asked me why I told her the truth ,which is that I'd just read that the MiniKorg 700s has 2 oscillators and 3 ring modulators (lol). Anyways she called me a dork and then I lay in silence thinking about all those ring modulators.

 

Not really a joke but still, 3 ring modulators! lol.

  On 2/9/2013 at 3:51 AM, DerWaschbar said:

Some of these jokes aren't very funny...

  On 2/9/2013 at 4:17 AM, LimpyLoo said:

 

Derp Derp SH101.

  On 2/9/2013 at 4:29 AM, DerWaschbar said:

 

  On 2/9/2013 at 4:17 AM, LimpyLoo said:

 

Derp Derp SH101.

I haven't said that in days.

Sorry Limpy.

Here is a joke just for you:

'Knock knock'
'Who's there?'
'SH101'
'Oh you are back from the shop already? Did you get any ring modulators?'

  On 2/9/2013 at 4:41 AM, DerWaschbar said:

Sorry Limpy.

 

Here is a joke just for you:

 

'Knock knock'

'Who's there?'

'SH101'

'Oh you are back from the shop already? Did you get any ring modulators?'

 

  Reveal hidden contents

'No I haven't got any.'

 

Dude i swear to b'jesus I was looking over a cheap local Univox Minikorg yesterday, checking out the specs and all.

Almost pulled the trigger.

You should have done it! THINK OF ALL THOSE RING MODULATORS!!!

Seriously though, how much was it?

5 american bones

You are lying!

Edit: Lying at my expense!

A boy comes home from school one day. His mother notices that he"s got a big smile on his face. She asks, "You look happy, did anything special happen at school today?" "Yes mum - I had sex with my English teacher!" he replied. The mother is stunned. "Get up them stairs now and wait until your father gets home!" The dad comes home and hears the news; he"s as pleased as punch. Beaming with pride, he walks over to his son and says, "I hear you had sex with your English teacher.""That"s right, Dad." "Well, you became a man today - this is a cause for celebration. Let"s get a curry, then I"ll buy you that bike you"ve been asking for.""Thanks, but can I have a football instead? My asshole is killing me."

I'm not *ahem* joking

$500

It looks like there is the 700 and the 700s, and only the 700s has the three ring mods (along with the sub-osc).

So this one isn't the cool one.

ps wakka wakka banana peel priest

Yeah that's correct. Alright well I'm going to go now. You take care Limpy.

  On 2/9/2013 at 5:06 AM, DerWaschbar said:

Yeah that's correct. Alright well I'm going to go now. You take care Limpy.

Please don't go, I'm lonely.

Maybe if you had more ring modulators you wouldn't be so lonely!

This one's kind of old, but I think it went something like this:

What did Worf find in one of the toilets of the U.S.S. Enterprise?

A Nigerian businessman is visiting a trading partner in Russia. They get around to drinking some vodka, and the Russian says to the Nigerian: "We have a game in Russia called Russian roulette. Have you heard of it?" The Nigerian replies that he hasn't, and so the Russian explains it to him over a few more glasses of vodka. The Nigerian, after a few more glasses decides, what the hell, and says, "Sure, I'll give it a shot." Well they play, and nobody loses! Hooray.

A few weeks later, the Russian is visiting his trading partner in Nigeria. They get around to drinking, and after a while the Nigerian says, "Hello my fried. In honour of your visit we created a game very similar to your Russian Roulette, would you like to play?" The Russian replies "Sure, i vould love to play!" The Nigerian takes the Russian into a hut where six beautiful Nigerian women are kneeling in a circle. He says to the Russian, "you can have a blowjob from any one of these women." The Russian looks at the Nigerian suspiciously and asks, "Vat's the catch?" The Nigerian answers,

Did you hear about the carrot that got married?

There was a big turnip at the wedding.