Empire magazines worlds sexiest actor is...

as someone who is sexually attracted to men,

benedict cumberbatch is malformed and strange looking. at least he has nice skin and eyes, but his facial structure is just baffling.

definitely not the sexiest man in the world. what.

michael fassbender for sexiest man of anything ever 2013

His beard is a bit crap, mines better.

He's got beast ears

  On 10/19/2013 at 6:52 PM, Hoodie said:

michael fassbender for sexiest man of anything ever 2013

 

*fap-fap-fap-fap-fap-fap*

well, according to the trades, his sexiness wasn't enuff to sell that wikileaks film

Fassbinder looks like a cancer patient in that pic.

someone's jealous~

im in the later stages of chemo. i miss my hair :(

bald can be sexy too SR4

:)

cross-eyed too

  On 10/20/2013 at 8:35 AM, tauboo said:

cross-eyed too

No no, his eyes are casual... look at that smile!

That's not a smile. That's a grin. (Not baldy,but fassbender...)

His interview at the daily show of last week, or the week before that, was a complete bore. Does Fassbender have any humor?

  On 10/20/2013 at 9:05 AM, goDel said:

That's not a smile. That's a grin. (Not baldy,but fassbender...)

 

His interview at the daily show of last week, or the week before that, was a complete bore. Does Fassbender have any humor?

He is half-German after all.

  On 10/18/2013 at 12:09 AM, zaphod said:

benedict cumberbatch is a pan dimensional being, accidentally summoned to earth by george lucas.

lucas, while prepping for episode 1, created a wormhole at his skywalker ranch using the same fusion reactor that powers jake lloyd. the tear in the fabric of space time revealed a being of unimaginable evil. this being has no name, but chose to communicate with lucas using the "benedict cumberbatch" nom de guerre, as a kind of ironic jab at the futility of naming the blobs of chaos we call bodies. the dark lord cumberbatch ordered lucas to begin systematically destroying all major hollywood franchises. lucas refused, but cumberbatch poisoned his mind, promising him trillions if he could just take down every major property in hollywood.

he would begin...with his own.

pleased with the failure of the prequel trilogy, cumberbatch sent a holographic projection to earth. this projection was called j.j. abrams. a pleasantly jewish mosaic of popular nerd trends, abrams would present the trusting face of cumberbatch's horrific plan to enslave humanity. cumberbatch also created a number of screenwriting algorithms with names like lindelof, orci, and kurtzman. they began to dismantle every franchise they could find, capitalizing on every american's greatest weakness: nostalgia for their own shitty childhoods.

finally, cumberbatch appeared in human form, as a plastic faced amalgam of all the great screen actors. it was capable of delivering a single tear at any moment, a pensive monologue or an assured dramatic line reading. it could play a villain or a hero. it was "classically trained". it was handsome, yet somewhat androgynous. women came to late night talk show appearances and tossed panties at it. men dropped its name to sound "with it" to their dr. who loving anglophile girlfriends, pointing out how much they enjoyed its portrayal of khan or how parade's end "looks cool, maybe we can watch that after we're done with downton abbey season 3, honey". the world was its oyster.

the hologram abrams had destroyed the star trek franchise with one successful film to snare an audience and one terrible film to make that audience decide that star trek was just not that cool, brah. it was time for phase two. abrams signed on to direct star wars, promising to make up for the trilogy that the now brain dead lucas had unleashed on his fanbase.

the people were ready. for more than a decade, they had sat through remakes, reboots, sequels, prequels and spinoffs. moviegoers were saturated with advertising. they had acclimated to a creatively bankrupt world. presales for star wars were in the billions of dollars. governments shut down. james cameron, realizing that he was no longer king, shot himself in the eye with a harpoon and fell to the bottom of the marianas trench, hoping to be found by some enterprising young director in the future.

star wars premiered in 2015. it was simulcast in every country, online, in imax, in liemax, projected onto the moon, and fed as data to unborn children. the hologram abrams walked out onto a stage and introduced it, smiling in a trustworthy way, offering a firm handshake and a guarantee that he'd make his bottom line, and then flickered off. instead of an opening crawl, it consisted of an infrasound wash designed to weaken the mind of the already stupefied moviegoer. an image appeared of cumberbatch, reptilian features coalesced into a grin, followed by the sound of a giant zipper unzipping. a great white phallus appeared on screen, pointed at the stars, jerked off by many simian hands. audiences watched, enraptured. the phallus finally came, spraying green detritus over everything. an orgasmic moan, more like a clarion call to arms, sounded in thx surround sound. many audience members began to disrobe. women fingered themselves. men reverted to a primal state and began killing the weak among them. the naked masses began to build a tower out of bodies. soon there were many towers, reaching into the stratosphere.

all the while, a low hum grew into a thunderous worldwide chant. cumberbatch, cumberbatch...

Holy fuck that is beautiful.

  On 10/20/2013 at 9:05 AM, goDel said:

That's not a smile. That's a grin. (Not baldy,but fassbender...)

 

His interview at the daily show of last week, or the week before that, was a complete bore. Does Fassbender have any humor?

i'd say he does, he's usually pretty smiley and upbeat.

not god enough. try again.

where do you guys get off trying to tell me what i should find attractive? do i roll into your shitty "look at this sexy redhead" threads and give you reasons why those women are actually ugly? no, i don't. in fact, i don't think anyone else does either. the only thing you all are accomplishing by insulting michael fassbender (who is physical perfection, thank you based god) is showing how insecure you all are in your masculinity. oh, his beard's not thick enough? his hairline is receding a little bit? yeah, i doubt any of you are actually attracted to men, so you don't realize how little that actually matters.

in fact, the only thing that these weak insults towards michael fassbender accomplish is revealing what low self-esteem y'all have about yourselves. people who are confident in their own looks see no reason to degrade others for tiny imperfections. fassbender is, objectively, an adonis. by nitpicking at him, you're not making him less attractive--you're only showing us your own feelings of inadequacy. it's pretty sad. i hope me calling you out on it inspires you to make some behavioral changes that will result in y'all acting less like pathetic sacks of shit.

and one last thing: it's infuriating to have men tell me what i should find attractive. it's not enough that men are privileged as fuck, you have to describe to women what is ok and what isn't ok to find attractive. y'all can't hold your tongues for ONE PICTURE. when i went into the jennifer lawrence thread, not to insult her beauty, but to suggest, hell, maybe she's not perfect, i was verbally assaulted. of course, i must be jealous and have low self-esteem when i even intimate that an actress isn't the perfect woman, but it's totally ok for you shitlords to list off reasons why michael fassbender is ugly when i posted a single picture of him as contrast to benedict cumberbatch's weird alien visage.

you don't care about michael fassbender. you only care about masturbating your ego and oppressing women..

Like with the Jennifer Lawrence thread, I knew this would get really good sooner or later.

*leans back*

LOL

brilliant! i'm sure fassbender would be proud of you! ;D

but what about cumberbatch? is it ok to call him out on his weird alien visage? yeah sure...masturbating your ego and oppressing men does not happen on this planet of oppressed women who only watch my little pony and dream about fassbenders. who told you which men to find attractive, btw?

wait, this is a thread about the objectifying of men, right?

...women and their double standards

lol

i didn't notice that fassbender is slighty cross-eyed too

it must actually be something that women find attractive, based on the two pics on this page. interesting... (i'm not being sarcastic or taking the piss). i guess it does draw attention to the eyes.

  On 10/20/2013 at 10:01 PM, Hoodie said:

anger

what's wrong Hoodie? You seem exceptionally grumpy and combative these days.

  On 10/20/2013 at 10:23 PM, SR4 said:

 

  On 10/20/2013 at 10:01 PM, Hoodie said:

anger

 

what's wrong Hoodie? You seem exceptionally grumpy and combative these days.

 

you can stop your tone policing right there, shitlord.