Jazz Pianist Vijay Iyer Reviews Tomorrow's Harvest

  On 11/6/2013 at 9:15 PM, zaphod said:

hooooly fuck

 

his review of until the quiet comes is so cringe inducing

 

http://thetalkhouse.com/reviews/view/vijay-iyer-flying-lotus

shit this almost brought tears to my eyes.

not tears of laughter, but ...

legitimately sad tears.

fuck i hate the self righteousness of music reviewers.

I've an idea for an article. Compare something to things without relevance to the thing I'm comparing it to. Pop culture references and thesaurus usage a must. I'll get fellated for my spectacular review of nothing, and be famous for it.

God, I love being a tool today.

His words should truly not exist. It is digital litter. It has forever scarred a server somewhere and has brought that disk one step closer to the landfill, our rare earth mines one step closer to depletion, and has managed to somehow destroy matter as it is transferred from screen to eyes to brain. I feel my nerves reeling from the twenty words I read.

His technique on the piano is flacid. The music isn't so bad, like a cover of a Brad Mehldau or Christopher Oreily cover of a Radiohead or Nick Drake song that never existed. It actually sounds like me learning to play Knives Out and Pyramid Song on piano in 2006.

But since I know that it is neither of those things, I must say that the G#Maj EMaj F#Maj progression, the classic 1 b6 b7, is SO early 2000's. Landau Orchestra anyone? I actually CAN sit down at a piano and do a piss take of it right now. It's pleasing music, but gosh, what a case of jazz major syndrome.

You know the jazz heads that sit around talking about modes (as if they understand them), and the 2 of them who have "perfect pitch" are really popular. "Hey mom, will you pay 60 grand for college so I can play music that was written between 60 and 80 years ago, then graduate and get a job at guitar center in the orchestra section? I'll get to play lots of great music, Salsa too, and they will teach me about something called polyrhythm. Maybe I can study 12 tone music?!"

Oh, did I say early 2000's? What I meant was this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7boeDmPBZX8

  On 11/7/2013 at 3:55 AM, poblequadrat said:

So what does this guy listen to? That track Deer posted sounds like a shitty acoustic cover of something from The Campfire Headphase with a hint of canyon.mid.

For what it's worth, I consider MHTRTC to have a murky kind of darkness that even Geogaddi doesn't touch. TH is kind of plasticky to me in fact.

 

edit: seriously mate, what the fuck? that's the worst piano improv i've heard in my life

Yeah man. MHTRTC does have that murkiness. It is definitely strong there. TH is amazing too. It lived up to it for me, wholly. I listened to it whilst biking around on Hilton Head island, and though I was surrounded by many red-faced, plump white people, I had the time of my life riding around listening to it, sweating like crazy. I don't have any complaints for any BOC album. No matter what anyone says, to me they are near perfect.

Re: the flying lotus review

  Quote

“Dream to Me,” finally gives you all of the signatures at once: the flams between kick and snare tilting the whole spectrum, the synth sweeps flooding the upper atmosphere, the vinyl distortion, the ornate twerks of electric bass, the running hi-hats, the 8-bit flourishes, the synthetic water sounds, the all-around trance vibe — this could be a FlyLo anthem!

Clearly someone who has studied many forms of musicology.

Lol

I kinda liked the improve cover of Human Nature and enjoyed the review even. At least he spoke up his mind like a true Russell Brand on politics, right? Although this time it's not a revolutionist talking about politics, but a musician about music.

Anyways, keep on protecting what you like and stuff. People need to fight for their music apparently. :D

Human Nature. What irony.

  On 11/10/2013 at 5:09 AM, goDel said:

Lol

 

I kinda liked the improve cover of Human Nature and enjoyed the review even. At least he spoke up his mind like a true Russell Brand on politics, right? Although this time it's not a revolutionist talking about politics, but a musician about music.

 

Anyways, keep on protecting what you like and stuff. People need to fight for their music apparently. :D

 

Human Nature. What irony.

It's not even about defending the music, it's about defending innocent people from Indian jazz pianists who want to be pitchfork writers for some reason.

And, Human Nature sounds SO GOOD slowed down about 20 percent.

Watmm, defending the innocent against pitchforks with verbal knives since 1999

"hire some blazing virtuoso drummer to light a fire under them"

can we please kill him

  On 11/10/2013 at 5:36 AM, goDel said:

Watmm, defending the innocent against pitchforks with verbal knives since 1999

thats right !

  On 11/10/2013 at 5:36 AM, goDel said:

Watmm, defending the innocent against pitchforks with verbal knives since 1999

wait...why are you...defending him from...us? what?

he's an awful writer, mediocre musician and we're making fun of that. you don't need to act indignant about us posting this in a relevant forum on the internet.

sad

After reading that fawning Flying Lotus review, my conclusion is Vijay Iyer just wants to be black.

Also I like how he seemingly unconsciously free associates crack use into his review of a black musician. Lulz.

Wow. He really is what I hate about jazz musicians. So brainwashed by academia. He can go suck the dark yellow shit out of Wynton Marsalis' weird-looking asshole.

how do you know what Wynton Marsalis' asshole looks like?

  On 11/14/2013 at 12:04 AM, usagi said:

how do you know what Wynton Marsalis' asshole looks like?

Because I sucked dark yellow shit from it.

  Quote

Or maybe they could just break the formula a little and actually sing a song, strum some guitar

How embarrassing

P.S. this is what his electronic music sounds like:

https://soundcloud.com/sonocentric/on-patrol-maurice-decaul

https://soundcloud.com/sonocentric/capacity

SICK DROP on that second one.

  On 11/13/2013 at 7:29 PM, LimpyLoo said:

He can go suck the dark yellow shit out of Wynton Marsalis' weird-looking asshole.

i kinda agree with the review, i have not listened to the lp for months but from what i can remember, it was nice but really predictable.

i know people here loves it but i also know there are loads of people here thinking drukqs is the best aphex twin record "EVER"...

  On 11/14/2013 at 2:47 AM, LimpyLoo said:

P.S. this is what his electronic music sounds like:

 

https://soundcloud.com/sonocentric/on-patrol-maurice-decaul

 

 

https://soundcloud.com/sonocentric/capacity

lol @ beats under beatnicks.

Is it a requirement to be overly verbose when reviewing music these days? Some of these guys take forever to say nothing.

  On 11/6/2013 at 9:46 PM, luke viia said:

lol fuck this guy, wow

 

  Quote

 

The playful nihilism of the early years, that winning formula that made BoC the electronica equivalent of Johnny Depp, so endearingly blank that everyone liked them, has seemingly given way to some grim self-seriousness and dreary melodrama. Maybe they could hire a sassy young intern to click and drag files around for them, update their Facebook page, keep the work atmosphere a little more fun and alive? Or maybe they could just break the formula a little and actually sing a song, strum some guitar, make an actual chase sequence, hire some blazing virtuoso drummer to light a fire under them, or something.

 

can't bother to read the whole review but i kinda agree with this sentiment. you guys take it so fucking serious and at face value, where here the guy is right - boc play it safe and i don't think he literally means for them to sing a song. but just do something out of their comfort zone. TH and CH both suffer from that.