What time is your "go time"? (bowel regularity)

Whenever I'm in the forest or amongst trees.

  On 11/14/2013 at 4:28 AM, Bob Dobalina said:

 

  On 11/13/2013 at 11:54 PM, acroyear said:

and I poop when I get a nice record in the mail.

 

lol, I'd love to know the evolutionary basis behind this all-too-real phenomenon.

I think this ^ and this:

  On 11/13/2013 at 11:54 PM, usagi said:

as soon as I get excited about anything

are related

This is a proper shit thread.

i pretty much only shit at work. is that weird? something about getting paid to shit thrills me.

  On 11/14/2013 at 3:29 AM, doublename said:

I don't think I shit as often as other people. Should I be worried? I don't drink coffee.

That might be why? I dunno, surely varies based on diet. Like how infrequent? Few days?

  On 11/14/2013 at 4:22 AM, usagi said:

beer shits are the worst.

party farts / party sharts

all the time

  On 11/14/2013 at 6:00 AM, Homestar Runner said:

i pretty much only shit at work. is that weird? something about getting paid to shit thrills me.

That's smart actually

  On 11/14/2013 at 4:22 AM, usagi said:

beer shits are the worst.

beer shits smell so pungently sweet. malt perhaps.

ACTUALLY RIGHT NOW

poop log - 9:22 CST

transmission successful

When I run at full speed.

Twenty minutes before the exam.

Empty your bowels, free your mind.

Some guy has been dropping bombs at the changing room at work for the last few months. He unloads early, when i go in there to change at 9am there is an unbearable smell of death in the room, and often skidmarks splattered all over the bowl, it doesn't smell like human. I have no idea what it is. It's got out of hand. On fridays there is usually a turd which looks like a fucking grenade bathing in the bowl (semi-submerged). Too big to flush, so the water level has risen to the rim :-I Had a bit of a brainstorming session at lunch today about how to deal with this because its getting to the point where we cant use the locker room. I suggested putting a sign on the door saying ''Ceasefire. No more bombs'' which led to another suggestion about plugging a little ghetto blaster with John Lennon - War Is Over, Give Peace A Chance playing on a loop to try and pacify the culprit. It's a complete warzone in there.

shit update: shitting an hour late today. think it might have been all the cheese I ate yesterday...

  On 11/14/2013 at 10:05 PM, Schlitze said:

Some guy has been dropping bombs at the changing room at work for the last few months. He unloads early, when i go in there to change at 9am there is an unbearable smell of death in the room, and often skidmarks splattered all over the bowl, it doesn't smell like human. I have no idea what it is. It's got out of hand. On fridays there is usually a turd which looks like a fucking grenade bathing in the bowl (semi-submerged). Too big to flush, so the water level has risen to the rim :-I Had a bit of a brainstorming session at lunch today about how to deal with this because its getting to the point where we cant use the locker room. I suggested putting a sign on the door saying ''Ceasefire. No more bombs'' which led to another suggestion about plugging a little ghetto blaster with John Lennon - War Is Over, Give Peace A Chance playing on a loop to try and pacify the culprit. It's a complete warzone in there.

Do you have a theory as to who it is?

Do you work with any gorillas? If so, that may be a possibility?

  On 11/16/2013 at 12:32 AM, J3FF3R00 said:

 

  On 11/14/2013 at 10:05 PM, Schlitze said:

Some guy has been dropping bombs at the changing room at work for the last few months. He unloads early, when i go in there to change at 9am there is an unbearable smell of death in the room, and often skidmarks splattered all over the bowl, it doesn't smell like human. I have no idea what it is. It's got out of hand. On fridays there is usually a turd which looks like a fucking grenade bathing in the bowl (semi-submerged). Too big to flush, so the water level has risen to the rim :-I Had a bit of a brainstorming session at lunch today about how to deal with this because its getting to the point where we cant use the locker room. I suggested putting a sign on the door saying ''Ceasefire. No more bombs'' which led to another suggestion about plugging a little ghetto blaster with John Lennon - War Is Over, Give Peace A Chance playing on a loop to try and pacify the culprit. It's a complete warzone in there.

 

Do you have a theory as to who it is?

Do you work with any gorillas? If so, that may be a possibility?

 

A guy I was working with over the summer was really into bodybuilding and had a crazy protein-rich diet going on. He rendered the toilets unuseable for hours after he'd been in there

  On 11/14/2013 at 4:22 AM, usagi said:

beer shits are the worst.

agreed

  On 11/16/2013 at 1:01 AM, chim said:

 

  On 11/14/2013 at 4:22 AM, usagi said:

 

beer shits are the worst.

agreed

By 'worst' you mean 'best' and most thrilling, right?

the worst is the public bathrooms with just one toilet in them, you walk in and the smell of shit hits you like a ton of bricks. actually one time i went into gag reflex action it was so bad, some big mexican looking guy that was in before me

  On 11/16/2013 at 12:32 AM, J3FF3R00 said:

Do you have a theory as to who it is?

Do you work with any gorillas? If so, that may be a possibility?

 

I've got a fair idea who it is after yesterday. I went in at about 8.50am to get changed and in came a guy who can only be described as the Staypuft Marshmallow Man. This guy has been seen around the place but he's from a different department so shouldn't really be using this room. I caught a glimpse of him via the mirror and knew straight away he had come here to unleash the hydrogen bomb. I was changing in a little shower cubicle next to the two toilets, so i was out of sight, he thought was in there all alone so i stayed silent. He didn't even lock the door, he sat down and I heard a barely audible 'ttssssssssssss'' like someone had turned the gas on the cooker. The calm before the storm. Then an almighty ''PARP!'' like someone had stepped on a duck. From then on he sat for about another 20 seconds, his asshole coughing and spluttering, weird cracking noises and stuff. Then the door opened and the almighty stench filled the room. He muttered something like ''Damn that's a load off'' before waking straight out of the room. He hadn't wiped, flushed or washed his hands. I finished getting changed, unable to breathe. Against my better judgement, had a quick glimpse at the damage (my sleeve covering mouth and nostrils tightly) and it wasn't the grenade we usually see on a friday. It was more like beef olive and gravy with the bowl splattered like a Jackson Pollock painting. The marshmallow man had left it sitting there so that others could admire his work. Whether or not he has has been launching the grenades on a friday remains to be seen, but he is certainly the guy who has been filling the place with a deathly unhuman odour on a daily basis with his toxic slurry, which for some reason he chooses to bring to another department and leave for all to see.

I wake up and take my morning bong hit, then I run to the bathroom and shit.

  On 11/16/2013 at 2:08 AM, verticalhold said:

 

  On 11/16/2013 at 1:01 AM, chim said:

 

  On 11/14/2013 at 4:22 AM, usagi said:

beer shits are the worst.

agreed

By 'worst' you mean 'best' and most thrilling, right?

 

I had a post-beer shit stewing all morning. It took a trip to town before it was ready to drop. The shit itself is very satisfying and smooth, most of the time - it's the pre-shit rumbling and borderline crowning that turns it into an exciting adventure for the whole family.

When I gotta.

In college I was drunk on the roof of my dorm building with a group of people and one guy shit off the side of the roof. The same dorm building was later home to an unsavory terrorist who was heavily featured in the news this year.

  On 11/16/2013 at 11:28 AM, Schlitze said:

 

  On 11/16/2013 at 12:32 AM, J3FF3R00 said:

 

Do you have a theory as to who it is?

Do you work with any gorillas? If so, that may be a possibility?

 

I've got a fair idea who it is after yesterday. I went in at about 8.50am to get changed and in came a guy who can only be described as the Staypuft Marshmallow Man. This guy has been seen around the place but he's from a different department so shouldn't really be using this room. I caught a glimpse of him via the mirror and knew straight away he had come here to unleash the hydrogen bomb. I was changing in a little shower cubicle next to the two toilets, so i was out of sight, he thought was in there all alone so i stayed silent. He didn't even lock the door, he sat down and I heard a barely audible 'ttssssssssssss'' like someone had turned the gas on the cooker. The calm before the storm. Then an almighty ''PARP!'' like someone had stepped on a duck. From then on he sat for about another 20 seconds, his asshole coughing and spluttering, weird cracking noises and stuff. Then the door opened and the almighty stench filled the room. He muttered something like ''Damn that's a load off'' before waking straight out of the room. He hadn't wiped, flushed or washed his hands. I finished getting changed, unable to breathe. Against my better judgement, had a quick glimpse at the damage (my sleeve covering mouth and nostrils tightly) and it wasn't the grenade we usually see on a friday. It was more like beef olive and gravy with the bowl splattered like a Jackson Pollock painting. The marshmallow man had left it sitting there so that others could admire his work. Whether or not he has has been launching the grenades on a friday remains to be seen, but he is certainly the guy who has been filling the place with a deathly unhuman odour on a daily basis with his toxic slurry, which for some reason he chooses to bring to another department and leave for all to see.

This guy sounds like a sadistic fuck.