Slicker than/Smoother than...

lol

Slicker than a seal in an oil spill

Slicker than synovial fluid

Smoother than a dog's coat after eating salmon

slicker than a russian near trump

Smoother than laundering money through shell companies and Cypriot banks.

Smooth like shit out a duck's ass.

Slicker than shellac, smoother than blowhole.

Slicker than a baby walrus covered in spinach and artichoke hummus that appeared in your bathtub for no reason when you got home from work and you have no idea what to do about it.

slicker than Charles Bronson's johnson smeared in Vaseline and ready for gunplay   

Slipperier than Ryan Giggs in cooking oil.

(from a poem I wrote when I was 9)

Slicker than a pig's foot boiled in cellulite

smoother than a nun's freshly laundered camisole 

slicker than a basic bitch eyeing bradley cooper

Slicker than shit, smoother than diarrhea

Slicker than a rhinoceros wrapped in sandpaper.

Smoother than a porcupine climbing a barbed wire fence.

If you meet these incredibly low standards of slickness and smoothness, you got something going for you

I’ve since used “slicker than dolphin dick” irl.

  On 3/16/2019 at 10:55 AM, Plum said:

I’ve since used “slicker than dolphin dick” irl.

nice

in what context? what was the thing/action/situation that was slicker in comparison to a dolphin penis?

I was manhandling a slippery saveloy at the time.

... hmmm, now that I think about it I didn’t say “slicker than dolphin dick”, what I actually said was “slicker than seal dick”

still a very fitting application of the phrase

i'm still waiting for the chance to use "smoother than a pornstars armpit"

yet very few things truly are

Saveloys are the key here, being both slick & smooth. Next time I’m about to nosh one down, I’ll think of you and say “smoother than a pornstar’s dick”. That’s a Plum promise.

While we’re on the subject of saveloys, I always get the urge to try and swallow one whole. I think I definitely could.

  On 6/14/2018 at 7:59 PM, Salvatorin said:

slicker than dolphin dick

I told someone they were ‘slicker than a dolphin’s dick’ earlier. It gave me a little chuckle! Thanks Sal

Slicker than Seal's dick.