Things everybody loves but you don't get at all

fart jokes.

  On 3/23/2019 at 9:16 PM, beerwolf said:

New Years Eve

 

the Christmas lights are still twinkling but fading fast, the lush green tree is still pretty but somehow looking grey and boring, you're feeling fat and bloated and just want to go to bed for 48 hours and disappear into soft pillow of lovely dreams and wake up on a mountain peak where the air is fresh and life affirming like Heaven in winter time, the kaleidoscopic cornucopia of booze looks about as interesting as a cold ASDA chicken sandwich after snorting a big fat line of nice cocaine, your local pub has been taken over by a massive crowd of total fucking wankers you don't know, your local pub has been taken over by a crowd of total fucking cunts you do know but the ones you avoid as best you can throughout the year, this crowd of fake wankers and cunts are for the next few hours your best friends, but you find you are outside heaving in lungful's of fresh air trying to escape the ninth circle of Hell, you stagger home and disappear into a hard pillow of agitated dreams and wake up to the most depressing time of the year with monochrome, cold grey weather that sucks the life out of your sepia rendered soul, with nothing to look forward to until spring which seems infinite aeons away

 

I fucking hate new years eve

This is a great post, however have you considered that you're not obligated to do any of these things on New Years Eve?

Perhaps what you actually hate is people, and feeling the need to conform to societies expectations of your behavior?

Just do whatever the fuck you want to do on that day, and ignore what everyone else is doing, and it'll be fine. Really.

don't take it tooo seriously

  On 3/24/2019 at 5:28 PM, beerwolf said:

don't take it tooo seriously

and that's when beerwolf became the Morrissey of WATMM

#1 everybody loves but i just dont get at all:

  On 3/24/2019 at 4:47 PM, MDM Chaos said:

 people

*shrugs*

I just can't get wildly excited about the clock hitting 12 on the 31st December, I find it a bit odd why it's such a big thing to a lot of people. Probably because I'm an outdoor person and I find January and February harsh, cold and dark and I find it depressing. 

Like I said I prefer Christmas when I'm surrounded by friends and family who I love, not surrounded by numpties who rub me up the wrong way after drinking too many light ales. But yeah it was a bit of a story slightly exaggerated to make it a bit more interesting. Hey ho.

sarcasm

i just don't get it :(

Cheese

Sports

Ice cream

Pink Floyd

Forget that pussycat Morrissey just out to prove I am as dark and evil as Pol Pot (and hate people just as badly as he did)

I've always turned The Simpsons off the seconds it takes me to find and pick up the remote control and turn it off. I bet that's freaking some of you out big time. Just not for me pipsqueaks. Sorry about that.

(Ohhh I must be a serial killer!!!)

Eggs

Dicks

Dick eggs.

  On 3/24/2019 at 7:29 PM, Zephyr_Nova said:

Dick eggs.

i no rite

gays

  On 3/24/2019 at 5:33 PM, auxien said:

 

#1 everybody loves but i just dont get at all:

  On 3/24/2019 at 4:47 PM, MDM Chaos said:

 people

 

Actually I feel that if most people are hard pressed this would be one of their answers. People are always complaining about other sets of people and so 'people' becomes something they don't get.

  On 3/24/2019 at 6:39 PM, Ivan Ooze said:

Ice cream

 

   this is the most surprising thing I've seen in this thread.

Sports

Butts

Sports butts

  On 3/24/2019 at 2:03 AM, doorjamb said:

 

  On 3/23/2019 at 6:59 AM, Stickfigger said:

OPN

Almost said that but I really like Replica

  On 3/24/2019 at 10:50 AM, MadellisTheSixth said:

fuckloads of sugar in everything

 

Actually, a real one: Holidays. Not everyone ofc, but I've come across too many people who obsessively jet off somewhere numerous times a year, and in many cases it seems like it's more an indication that their home lives are dull. Why not try and fix that, instead of forever trying to escape?. Plus the endless babble about how wonderful they are because they travel (a minority subset of the above, but a large minority)

It's also a hilarious environmental blind spot. The number of people I know who fly about on weekend breaks 3-4 times a year, and then go on a climate march...

god’s chosen ones

Apple watches

Ray Romano

  On 3/24/2019 at 8:22 PM, Tricone RC said:

Actually, a real one: Holidays. Not everyone ofc, but I've come across too many people who obsessively jet off somewhere numerous times a year, and in many cases it seems like it's more an indication that their home lives are dull. Why not try and fix that, instead of forever trying to escape?. Plus the endless babble about how wonderful they are because they travel (a minority subset of the above, but a large minority)

Yeah! Nice one, holidays!

dank memes

I feel bad for those who can't feel the joy of a properly dank meme. 

I don't like licorice or asparagus. Or raw onions/garlic. Those are some downright ugly ass flavors. 

Ugly ass flavours are def underrated.

Eww gross?  More like eww good, you philistines.

A nice peaty scotch is a beautifully ugly flavor. Raw onions taste like instant diarrhea.