Autechre Funny Autechre Stories

Alco is ZCM confirmed

lol

  On 8/13/2018 at 1:05 AM, hello spiral said:

Alco is ZCM confirmed

finally

lol, way too good

I like how the English in those posts just gets worse over time.

I think I've told this one in CHATMM before but not in this thread...

Years ago, I was driving around with a friend. We were pretty fucking stoned and we went to pick up his gf at the time. She was like the definition of basic bitch, sheltered, rich girl. After driving around a while she's being kinda obnoxious to the point where even my buddy is getting a little annoyed with her. I had played Gantz Graf for him earlier that night, and he while not into IDM at all appreciated the chaos of the track, he knew however that basic bitch wouldn't though...

After getting annoyed enough with her he turns to me and says "ghOsty, put that one song on again", I put it on and he cranks the car stereo WAY the fuck up. She's instantly freaked out and overwhelmed by the sounds... and starts shouting things like "What the hell guys? What is this?!" "I don't like this, James (my buddy) turn it off!" "You guys, this is scaring me"... She's in fucking TEARS by the end of the track crying and shouting "You guys, this isn't funny staaaaaahhhp" meanwhile we're geeking out in the front and laughing our asses off at her reaction... lol, fuck you Lauren.

I enjoy the idea of Gantz Graf driving someone to tears.

  On 8/12/2018 at 3:41 AM, Alcofribas said:

Today I learn my dad not real, no biology, only my mom boyfriend. she say my father englishman from Manchester by the sea. I go there. Walk the grey city streets look out for him my dad. mom say he skinny, wear of northface, jean too big. I see him, I think it him. he does computer all night long, no friend, never a woman. Does Skype with “rob” who only friend, a family man with child’s and with wife of own. Sean cry each time say goodbye to him. I cry too. That how I know it is him.

  On 8/12/2018 at 3:47 AM, Alcofribas said:

now I understand he of autechre, do the beats, make it sound fuck. Rob want to do nice pads, lush, feels good. Sean too angry, say mean thing, make the beats too fuck. Warp releases anyway, they no care. Have opn now, very culture and high of class. Sean even more mad so make too long, no one enjoy. No melody at all. Too chaos. I find, it bc of me. Bc I show up. I say Sean it me you son, blood son. He startle! Afraid. Ask me how to max and msp. I show him. He believe me. Now next I try him to do lush, make beats relax and feel good, melody of emotion. Rob very please, now play with kid more. Sean not know. Drink too much coffee, feel nervous and scare. But he come around soon. Next autechre like old style, no more fuck.

Aphex thread is doing my head in a little so thought I'd wander over here and these made me genuinely laugh and smile

  On 8/15/2018 at 8:22 AM, ghOsty said:

I think I've told this one in CHATMM before but not in this thread...

 

Years ago, I was driving around with a friend. We were pretty fucking stoned and we went to pick up his gf at the time. She was like the definition of basic bitch, sheltered, rich girl. After driving around a while she's being kinda obnoxious to the point where even my buddy is getting a little annoyed with her. I had played Gantz Graf for him earlier that night, and he while not into IDM at all appreciated the chaos of the track, he knew however that basic bitch wouldn't though...

 

After getting annoyed enough with her he turns to me and says "ghOsty, put that one song on again", I put it on and he cranks the car stereo WAY the fuck up. She's instantly freaked out and overwhelmed by the sounds... and starts shouting things like "What the hell guys? What is this?!" "I don't like this, James (my buddy) turn it off!" "You guys, this is scaring me"... She's in fucking TEARS by the end of the track crying and shouting "You guys, this isn't funny staaaaaahhhp" meanwhile we're geeking out in the front and laughing our asses off at her reaction... lol, fuck you Lauren.

Not funny. sSiriusLLi.

Alco. Funnii

  On 8/13/2018 at 1:05 AM, hello spiral said:

Alco is ZCM confirmed

all is forgiven

  On 8/15/2018 at 8:22 AM, ghOsty said:

After getting annoyed enough with her he turns to me and says "ghOsty, put that one song on again", I put it on and he cranks the car stereo WAY the fuck up. She's instantly freaked out and overwhelmed by the sounds... and starts shouting things like "What the hell guys? What is this?!" "I don't like this, James (my buddy) turn it off!" "You guys, this is scaring me"... She's in fucking TEARS by the end of the track crying and shouting "You guys, this isn't funny staaaaaahhhp" meanwhile we're geeking out in the front and laughing our asses off at her reaction... lol, fuck you Lauren.

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This reminds me of my ex gf who I took to an Elseq tour concert. At one point she sat on the ground covering her ears saying "This music is a personal attack on me"

I laughed with the AFX grin, but deep inside a stark realization crept inside me: she's not the one.

I work at a Museum as a Technician and we regularly undertake pest trapping as part of what is known as 'preventative conservation', i.e. keeping tabs on what sort of insects are coming into our stores and liable to 'eat' the collections...e.g., clothes moths, silverfish, furniture/carpet beetles, etc., etc.

We were checking traps back in January and I picked up quite a spicy one, with several large woodlice on it, in numbers above normal.

As is the way, I always have the mp3 player and Popmaster speaker on the trolley...do like to whistle as I work, and all that....Corc was playing.

Knowing this particular Autechre track as well as I do, a tiny bit of inspiration then occurred...which I documented for reasons.

(Trigger warning: possibly urgh / dead insects / not sure if funny)

jesus motherfuck that squashing sound!!

once i played my sister plyphon now on the rare occasion that she mentions the music i listen to, she always calls it skrillex

https://www.instagram.com/p/BzR66xwC4pW/?igshid=1idpshlatstkp

  On 6/30/2019 at 10:05 AM, thegirlnextdoor said:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BzR66xwC4pW/?igshid=1idpshlatstkp

so, I²DM causes progeria... there is to be careful

i was calling my mom to come down and bring me a baja blast mountain dew and she couldn't hear me bc autechre "beats(MCX quartent)" was playing too loud. but look, i'm not going to turn DOWN the ae. so i was getting pretty pissed she didn't arrive to me. ah, this is not good" i remember thinking. it was distracting me from enjoying the mix very much. i couldn't focus on the production. i didn't notice how the reverb was coming on only after the synth sound was released. it was hard for me to really appreciate the triplet kicks to the fullest extent of "beat fuckery." some of the mid range synth "farts" i could tell sounded quite liquid but i wasn't getting that fucked up feeling like i was fucked up on Robotussub. but what really made me lose it was when a pad came in and it didn't even remind me of my childhood or make me long for a past that never really was. i did the unthinkable. i turned it down. this way my mom could hear me. when she came down with my chilled beverage she was like "honey i don't know how you can listen to this..." i cut her off and said "hush mother."

The time I was listening to Exai and was hearing all this radio noise and scrambled talking from the radio, thought it sounded awesome, then realized my fm receiver for my phone was fucking up. 

A coworker and I have been swapping albums. He first gave me Hans-Peter Lindstrom's "Smalhans" (great album), so I gave him EP7. He told me it gave him anxiety, but in a good way.

I'll condense these into one because the LoLs are minute...if at all.

Oncechre:

Back in 2010 I downloaded an Oversteps zip file, prior to (i.e. intending to) spunking £XX.XX on the vinyl version...hadn't been into the 'chre that much since LP5, to be honest, so this new one sounded like a return to form (for me)...proper beats, some tune structure recognisable to my pathetic brain etc., oh my stars. A few months later I then got a copy of the boxset in MVE Notting Hill for £20.

Rushed home and stuck the needle on track 13, thinking "aye, let's start with 'krylon', no fucking about"...gutted. WTF was this? Not what I had listened to previously, obviously. After some searching I discerned it was an Altered Carbon LP...and krylon was actually called 'Sleav'.  Subsequently downloaded The Real Oversteps and um, nah.

The OG AC is still a damn fine release and I don't ever listen to Oversteps much. 

Dostechre:

So I got the chance to see them play in Leeds in 1997, at some University thing called Planet Alice. Was down from Scotland visiting pals, it seemed like a belter of an idea. Beer + Weed x Autechre =  Never having experienced them live before, I naively expected a greatest hits thus far kind of set with Second Bad Vilbel played around ten times in a row (of course), plus Basscadet and Crystel for encores. Didn't happen haha.

Trestechre:

Cut to 2000 and it's the Lighthouse party in Docklands...I'd bought tickets because of Boards, whilst still in Scotchland, but then moved to Norwich in the intervening months. My lass didnae fancy a night of electronica (who would?) and so a mate from Fife came down for the pairty. T'was a pain in the arse queue to get in (gotta get them minidisc recorders banned lol) and then we're in and BoC's spacebar stuck, heh. They were grand after the Great Unsticking though, worth the admission fee alone (as expected). We then try for some Ae action and it's nul on the banger front again.  WTF guyz. No Windowlicker, no Brace Yourself Jason, no Bad Vilbelz...fuck. Left before the end. Then we catch a bit of the Skam Records DJ set and there's good ol' Eutow blasting out, shaking those aged Trinity Buoy Wharf windows from their petrified putty foundations. Yeah, this was what I wanted, sorry cheers mate. Then me and my pal couldn't be arsed to hang around for Aphex (cos the "let's not advertise timings" thing reaaaallly worked out well) and so we walked for a few hours back to Highbury, which was as awful as it sounds at 3/4/5am in the morning. Happy days.

I listened to Rpeg once before class in high school while still very tired, and somehow I thought I was seeing the song instead of hearing it.

A similar thing happened with Infant Dressing Table by Animal Collective and I thought I was having a conversation with the distorted voice in the beginning and didn't realize that I couldn't understand what it was saying.

I wanna leave there

I don't know if this story can fall into the "funny" category, but it sure has its place in the WTF one.
So, nine years ago my mother was affected by a cerebral effusion, which cost her 3 months of coma, 1 year of hospitalization, full left hemiplegia and a cognitive condition very similar to that of a child, but lacking in short memory.
Every now and then I play music and ask her to associate emotions. It is an exercise that gives basic answers, such as "happy", "sad", "i don't know". Mainly it is about music connected to her youthful experience, like Pablo Milanes, and sometimes, something that is alien to her but quite immediate (boc).
Today I played r catz. At first she was silent, so I helped her, asking for a figurative image, a landscape. She thought about it for a while, and at a certain point, out of nowhere, she said: "Calatrava".
How this was possible remains an absolute mystery.

  On 9/9/2021 at 1:25 PM, Draft78 said:

I don't know if this story can fall into the "funny" category, but it sure has its place in the WTF one.
So, nine years ago my mother was affected by a cerebral effusion, which cost her 3 months of coma, 1 year of hospitalization, full left hemiplegia and a cognitive condition very similar to that of a child, but lacking in short memory.
Every now and then I play music and ask her to associate emotions. It is an exercise that gives basic answers, such as "happy", "sad", "i don't know". Mainly it is about music connected to her youthful experience, like Pablo Milanes, and sometimes, something that is alien to her but quite immediate (boc).
Today I played r catz. At first she was silent, so I helped her, asking for a figurative image, a landscape. She thought about it for a while, and at a certain point, out of nowhere, she said: "Calatrava".
How this was possible remains an absolute mystery.

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damn

pin this

  On 8/12/2018 at 2:28 AM, Alcofribas said:

I was doing cocain with my dad who kept frantically hugging me and apologize when I put on ventolin weeze mix (by autechre) and he asked if this was “Beats” and I said yeah.

  On 8/12/2018 at 2:45 AM, Alcofribas said:

My dad is the kind of guy who wears a big watch, very douchebag. One night he was doing banging of a chick and it was in synch with the bad vibel (which was not playing st that time) and now that’s all I can imagine when I hear that song from the cd

  On 8/12/2018 at 3:32 AM, Alcofribas said:

every now and then again my dad takes me to the summer, to crack a cold one and enjoy the rays. once, when we were just drinking a beers and soaking up rays he said son, as my son you must promise me to always enjoy the authechre’s music. they have just come with nts “the sessions” 8 hours mix new album and you must study this work, every detail as well as the whole thing and let this music be your guide. you must never listen to me, only hear the music of those men. I have always done so as he says to this day

  On 8/12/2018 at 3:37 AM, Alcofribas said:

after my dad did die, my father had left me he cds collection. for example “ep7” with frosted jewels. I took out my notebook and wrote a letter to him now gone. Dear father, I said, you have always held up this music for me to learn from and now I am ready to make my own create of music. Then I took out from him the old rsd10 and alesis mmt8 and r8 of Roland. To this day do I do this, even after his dead. Bc I cry when I think of him I call it “cry repetae” and lpCry” and cryistice and incryabula and, when I am finish, excrai.

  On 8/12/2018 at 3:41 AM, Alcofribas said:

Today I learn my dad not real, no biology, only my mom boyfriend. she say my father englishman from Manchester by the sea. I go there. Walk the grey city streets look out for him my dad. mom say he skinny, wear of northface, jean too big. I see him, I think it him. he does computer all night long, no friend, never a woman. Does Skype with “rob” who only friend, a family man with child’s and with wife of own. Sean cry each time say goodbye to him. I cry too. That how I know it is him.

  On 8/12/2018 at 3:47 AM, Alcofribas said:

now I understand he of autechre, do the beats, make it sound fuck. Rob want to do nice pads, lush, feels good. Sean too angry, say mean thing, make the beats too fuck. Warp releases anyway, they no care. Have opn now, very culture and high of class. Sean even more mad so make too long, no one enjoy. No melody at all. Too chaos. I find, it bc of me. Bc I show up. I say Sean it me you son, blood son. He startle! Afraid. Ask me how to max and msp. I show him. He believe me. Now next I try him to do lush, make beats relax and feel good, melody of emotion. Rob very please, now play with kid more. Sean not know. Drink too much coffee, feel nervous and scare. But he come around soon. Next autechre like old style, no more fuck.

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