need witty fortune cookie fortunes

this guy ^

DAT ASS

This fortune cookie has been up somebody's ass. Enjoy your evening.

make a graphic fortune that illustrates how to open the fortune cookie

"you just ate cat"

  On 9/9/2009 at 9:51 PM, Adjective said:

make a graphic fortune that illustrates how to open the fortune cookie

oooh that's really nice i quite like this

  On 9/9/2009 at 9:33 PM, Benedict Cumberbatch said:

 

 

this guy ^

and this one too. the eyes have to be perfectly/subtley whacked out just like it too or else no good

  On 9/9/2009 at 10:20 PM, yek said:

"you just ate cat"

was surprised the dog/cat thing didn't come up sooner...

That limo has 1 window on teh front, probably at the back too so thats 2 and I counted 38 windows on one side, meaning there are another 38 windows on that side

38+38=76 76+2=78

The limo has a total of 78 windows.

2 people can be seated at the front and probably 4 can be seated on each seat for each

window so 4x38=152 152+2=154

About 154 people can fit into that limo

this will self-destruct in 1 month according to scientific consensus on paper decomposition

if you try to put "in bed" at the end of this fortune you'll surely end up shagging your own ugly sister

ΔMi−1 = −αΣn=1NDi[n][Σj∈C{i}Fji[n − 1] + Fexti[n−1]]

"So, a man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest of the joke but your mom is a whore".

"You will do it for the rush, the adaptation, and the general backwardness of the act."

I would have just given this to you

If you are reading this you just opened a fortune cookie

_____________________________________________(please fill in)

You know that thing that you always do that everybody hates? Stop doing it.

This fortune doubles as an ornamental ring. Just add tape.

YdOlUe cSoOnLgVrEaDt uTlHaEt iRoInDs, (this took way too long to make)

8==============================D~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please don't make a mess in the washroom, we worked really hard cleaning it

  On 9/9/2009 at 9:00 PM, Fred McGriff said:

god i used to be so creative. i cant believe i cant come up with a damn thing. my brain is all gordoed up these days

a fortune that says "GML" would work

In Japan Fortune cookie knows shit

Just start writing haikus that are missing the last two syllables to make room for "in bed."  

MSGMLOL

you are going to regret this dinner tomorrow

allah akbar!

just have it read "http://www.wisdomportal.com/JS/RandomFortunes.html"

  On 9/10/2009 at 5:25 AM, lumpenprol said:

allah akbar!

^That and a small picture of an AK47

"HE'S A LIAR. HE'LL RAPE YOU. HE'LL KILL. YOU KILL HIM FIRST."

"The other cookies are lying to you"

death comes to us all

eight year olds, Dude.

That which is escaped now is pain to come.

Remember, we are eternal. All this pain is an illuision.

The words of a dead man are modified in the guts of the living.

There is no coming to consciousness without pain.