need witty fortune cookie fortunes

watch out for flying drywall

Best before 9/11/2001.

A friend was in Japan in a restaurant couple of weeks ago, where they had some kind of fortune cookie equivalent. His motto at the end of the meal read, "you will soon receive a present/surprise." He showed it to his waiter with a wink, expecting a sparkler on his ice cream or something. The waiter took offence, but after 5 minutes confused conversation between himself, his japanese hosts and the waiter, he ended up with a £400 bottle of spirits to prevent loss of face.

I'm not suggesting you put this anecdote in a fortune cookie.

Actually I am.

"I tried to warn you, but who eats the fortune cookie first, huh?  Your egg roll was poisoned.  Good luck, asshole."

Thank you for renting our food!

Confucius says: "Man with shoelace tied together can not walk."

http://fortunecookies.in/

keep refreshin'

You have contracted AIDS.  Pay it forward.

I love that site, which gets its stuff from the bsd fortune program:

The difference between sentiment and being sentimental is the following:

Sentiment is when a driver swerves out of the way to avoid hitting a

rabbit on the road. Being sentimental is when the same driver, when

swerving away from the rabbit hits a pedestrian.

-- Frank Herbert, "The White Plague"

If you didn't have to work so hard, you'd have more time to be depressed.

Classic pan-asian fortune cookie material.

If you want divine justice, die.

-- Nick Seldon

"If any man is not free, then i too am a small pie made of chicken."

- Bouffant

  On 9/9/2009 at 9:14 PM, Fred McGriff said:

  On 9/9/2009 at 9:04 PM, Adjective said:

Note to self: get more paper for inner monolo

 

this is some really progressive thinking

this is definitely good too.

product enlarged to show texture

i watched you pick this up