stupid first world problems you're dealing with

  On 5/24/2021 at 7:27 PM, J3FF3R00 said:

Update… 2.5 days to go. 
This week has been loaded with so many micro-aggressions that I’ve lost count. MIL (Mother In-Law) clearly sees me as competition for some unknown reason and is doing so much passive aggressive stuff, it’s absurd. I’ve basically resorted to complete withdrawal as almost anything I say gets  thrown back in my face because she interprets everything I say or do as a threat to her dominance. I could give you a laundry list but it would basically be me giving you all a textbook TLDR.

Two things I will mention:

1) she is pretty much zero help with the baby unless she can weaponize it in some way to try and prove some kind of point (which is usually something completely benign) so we’re having to do more way more work now that she’s visiting

2) she refuses to take off her shoes in the house because she sees it as me being irrational. We don’t have a housekeeper (she does) and my wife doesn’t clean at all so I’m the one who has to sweep/vacuum/clean the floors. Our house is pretty small and the yard is overrun with burrs, foxtails, black dust from the highway and cat shit from about 8 or 9 strays that use our yard as a litter box… oh yeah, and I also saw her walk in some human shit (long story).That all quickly gets all over the floors and ends up in bed on our feet. Please, if you don’t mind, take off your shoes at the front door. Not the most unreasonable request, is it?? Nope. She wears her dirty shoes in and I feel like a dick to have to keep asking politely but to her it’s me being oppressive or something so she either refuses or gives some performative “oh! Whoops! I’m wearing my shoes indoors! I’m breaking all the rules, I guess!” Or something like that. Then she drips water and drops tomato slices on the floor and marches all over them with her dirty shoes and I have to mop the damn floor. That and there are fuckin burrs and grass all over the damn rug. Then the act of me cleaning is interpreted by her as aggressive. WTF?? Someone please shoot me in the damn face please. 
 

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What kind of fucking savage wears shoes in the house? That’d warrant the death penalty round mine. 
 

Obvs tricky with your missus not wanting to upset MiL, but fuck, it’s your (plural) house, so totally not unreasonable to have some ground rules. 
 

Also I’m not letting you just gloss over the human shit story. 

  On 5/24/2021 at 8:18 PM, Squee said:

Just had to explain to my girlfriend and sister what docking is.

And...?

This thread is making me wanna do shrumes again.  My one experience was way overdosed for a first time and it made for an incredibly weird time so I didn't look back for a long while.  I really miss how introspective and abstract it was while also keeping me hyperaware and grounded to my body.  It was a little too much for a teenager to handle.

Was it "my horrifying mental vortex of unsettling truths" or the bit about it being a painful journey of madness that reawakened your desire to do them again?

I ended up throwing out a pretty substantial soggy shroom pile at the bottom of my tea cup, because I definitely didn't want more and I didn't want one of the dogs to eat it... or the person I was with, because she was more than fucked up enough already.  I mean that in the most endearing way possible, but yeah... no more substances for that lady, if I can have any influence over it.

I feel so drained today.

  On 5/31/2021 at 5:05 AM, toaoaoad said:

Anybody else having an issue with youtube + adblock, where the ad gets blocked but the video won't load either? It just jams up, and refreshing won't fix it either. It seems to be happening more and more all the time. I'm using safari. It's driving me nuts... would probably waste less time just watching the ads. But I can't let them win. 

happening to me on Firefox, clicking on the timebar manually usually forces the vid to load

  On 5/31/2021 at 7:18 AM, toaoaoad said:

One of the main things I remember about shrooms was every time I closed my eyes I would see blood dripping down. This particular illusion was consistent every time I did them (maybe 10 times or so, all when I was 15-20). I was too young to be doing that shit and had some pretty scary times, but the scary times mellowed in the end thanks to good tunes (one of the most intense trips I survived by hiding in my bed in the dark listening to Dubnobasswithmyheadman on repeat). A few other times were very good all around - doing them with the right person helps. I wouldn't do them now tho, too much neurosis lol it would probably tip me completely over the edge  same goes for acid...

 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

Ahhh fuck. Seriously this still gives me flashbacks. This song IS mushrooms. 

 

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Doing it with the right person is probably key.  The only time I did them and didn't completely lose my shit was with my ex at a cabin with a record player.  The cabin was Van Gogh themed, and I was preoccupied with the idea of going mad, since that's what my other shroom experiences were like.  It occurred to me that Gogh is an anagram of my last name, a thought which could have spelled disaster.  But we went to the beach, and I deliberately blocked all thoughts out of my mind, and just focused on the stars/our immediate surroundings.  Then went back to the cabin and put on some live record featuring Jimi Hendrix.  So I just got absorbed in that, which was fantastic.

That song sounds like Pink Floyd, but with Maynard Keenan doing his lullabye voice over top.

Also, weird post shroom experience today - I was driving behind a car with a bumper sticker that said "we're all mad here", which was written on the wall of the room where I spent the majority of my second ever shroom trip.  It was an interesting coincidence.

since the gym has been closed i've been going to the park at 5AM each morning to use the pull-up bars etc. Now that the curfew has been lifted (three days ago) each time i go there there are drunk people hanging out in the park who've clearly been there all night. really harshing the vibe. the sound of morning birds replaced by faded scruffians making growling noises at each other & giggling incessently. this morning a pack of them were listening to the same song on loop the whole time i was there, chanting "insane in the membrance" with heavy qeb accents (they were not listening to insane in the membrane but some other rap song).

luckily the actual gym opens in a week

three days ago the shelter closed because of covid so me and my hobo homies are getting drunk in the park every day. we go there early, like 5AM, so we don't stress out too many people with our substance abuse. where else would we go? anyways, recently the sounds of morning birds have been replaced by this cryptic looking nerd doing pullups nonstop every day, grunting incessently. we all think he's a little nuts so we chant "insane in the membrane" every time he arrives hoping he just goes elsewhere for the day.

luckily the shelter opens again in a week

The family next door are having a shit garden party with shit music way too loud.  I live in Brixton and it's not even the usual reggae and dancehall which would be fine on a sunny day.  It's shit commercial house music and lcd gangsta rap.  Quite tempted to set up my 300w monitors in the garden and blast them some Alice Coltrane.  Any other suggestions for teaching a black family about their correct musical heritage? 

  On 5/31/2021 at 7:50 PM, kakapo said:

The family next door are having a shit garden party with shit music way too loud.  I live in Brixton and it's not even the usual reggae and dancehall which would be fine on a sunny day.  It's shit commercial house music and lcd gangsta rap.  Quite tempted to set up my 300w monitors in the garden and blast them some Alice Coltrane.  Any other suggestions for teaching a black family about their correct musical heritage? 

Damn Brixton really is getting gentrified after all!

  On 5/31/2021 at 7:50 PM, kakapo said:

teaching a black family about their correct musical heritage

Please post video of yourself doing this for posterity and educational purposes. 

  On 5/31/2021 at 8:03 PM, chenGOD said:

Please post video of yourself doing this for posterity and educational purposes. 

If he looks anything like his avatar this will be interesting

was about to fire up the grill to celebrate memorial day by grilling stuff, and discovered there's a mouse living inside it.

do I:

(a) shoot it

(b) turn the grill on high and blast it with flames

(c) poke at it with a stick until it falls out and the dog can get it

(d) leave it and scrap the whole damn plan

if I were drunk right now, I'd probably go with (b). but since I'm sober, I need to think this through more carefully.

  On 5/31/2021 at 8:14 PM, zero said:

was about to fire up the grill to celebrate memorial day by grilling stuff, and discovered there's a mouse living inside it.

do I:

(a) shoot it

(b) turn the grill on high and blast it with flames

(c) poke at it with a stick until it falls out and the dog can get it

(d) leave it and scrap the whole damn plan

if I were drunk right now, I'd probably go with (b). but since I'm sober, I need to think this through more carefully.

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don't make the rat gods upset. option e, befriend it, it was just waiting for you to teach it to barbecue! (what a rhyme)

  On 5/31/2021 at 8:37 PM, chronical said:

don't make the rat gods upset. option e, befriend it, it was just waiting for you to teach it to barbecue! (what a rhyme)

I shook the grill a bit, and it ended up running off. BUT it left a bunch of tiny pink rat babies in there in a big disgusting nest. I used some sticks to put the nest on the ground, and now there are several pink mutant babies squirming around in my backyard. I am not a bad person, but I don't know what else I could have done. the big rat is gone, and so it is up to mother nature now to decide. we get a lot of turkey vultures around here, which will no doubt know what to do.

but FFS, now my grilling plan is ruined because no way in hell am I using that thing now.

  On 5/31/2021 at 8:14 PM, zero said:

if I were drunk right now, I'd probably go with (b). but since I'm sober, I need to think this through more carefully.

The solution, then, is obvious.

  On 5/31/2021 at 8:58 PM, rhmilo said:

The solution, then, is obvious.

I definitely need a drink now after going through this ordeal

  On 5/31/2021 at 8:48 PM, zero said:

I shook the grill a bit, and it ended up running off. BUT it left a bunch of tiny pink rat babies in there in a big disgusting nest. I used some sticks to put the nest on the ground, and now there are several pink mutant babies squirming around in my backyard. I am not a bad person, but I don't know what else I could have done. the big rat is gone, and so it is up to mother nature now to decide. we get a lot of turkey vultures around here, which will no doubt know what to do.

but FFS, now my grilling plan is ruined because no way in hell am I using that thing now.

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Then put them back into the grill and make it a rat shelter since you wont use it anymore or put them somewhere warm and feed them until they're mature enough to walk. Then throw them out or something. If you gonna kill them yiu shpuld slice their heads off really quickly, then crush them with a stone or something (don't do that). You're a good guy. Put them back into the grill and build a new grill from stones and just use the grid or use a pan. You did the wrong thing, chastise yourself

  On 5/31/2021 at 7:50 PM, kakapo said:

The family next door are having a shit garden party with shit music way too loud.  I live in Brixton and it's not even the usual reggae and dancehall which would be fine on a sunny day.  It's shit commercial house music and lcd gangsta rap.  Quite tempted to set up my 300w monitors in the garden and blast them some Alice Coltrane.  Any other suggestions for teaching a black family about their correct musical heritage? 

I've popped a note through their door with some suggested listening and a link to one of my black music spotify playlists.  Hopefully they'll take it in the way it's intended.

  On 5/31/2021 at 5:52 AM, chenGOD said:

What kind of fucking savage wears shoes in the house? That’d warrant the death penalty round mine. 
 

Obvs tricky with your missus not wanting to upset MiL, but fuck, it’s your (plural) house, so totally not unreasonable to have some ground rules. 
 

Also I’m not letting you just gloss over the human shit story. 

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Haha! I

  On 5/31/2021 at 10:37 PM, J3FF3R00 said:

Now she wants to come visit every month and my wife is too intimidated to tell her no. I’m fucking done. 

oh man.. you need bring this to a head and blow up the things for your own mental well being.. even if it backfires it might be worth it for the catharsis. 

good luck man.. if you like.. i bet you could have a mediator from WATMM step in on your behalf. 

edit: you could dox her and we'll all just start calling her w/offers for wholesale priced cucumbers. 

  On 5/31/2021 at 10:37 PM, J3FF3R00 said:

Haha! I don’t want to go into too much detail because the whole story is actually personal and a bit sad but one of our family members that we visited lives alone, is legally blind and has problems making it to the toilet on time. We discovered black trails in and out of the bathroom and across the apartment. Also, when we were there, the baby had a MASSIVE blow out and that got all all over the floors and my wife’s shoes, clothes, etc. Baby was covered head to toe in shit and screaming like crazy and when I was cleaning/changing her, MIL picked that moment to try and mind meld with the baby to calm her down and made it impossible for me to clean her. I had to let her know twice that she was so close to the baby that her collar and ponytail were in danger of getting shit on them. She was also in my way making it impossible for me to clean the baby’s ass. Meanwhile, the baby’s changing pad was precariously slipping around in the kitchen table and when MIL almost pulled her off the edge I said “don’t pull the baby!” Out of caution and she snapped back “you’re pulling the baby!” Which I wasn’t physically possible because she had her hands on the baby and my hands were full of shitty baby wipes . It was terrible  

MIL left Wednesday and I’ve been replaying all of the worst moments in my head on repeat over and over, trying to figure out what the fuck the issue was. I think it really just comes down to control issues. My assumption now is that she feels threatened by me because she isn’t in complete control of her only grandchild. Thus, any polite request I make is interpreted as a threat. Now she wants to come visit every month and my wife is too intimidated to tell her no. I’m fucking done. 

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Lol what a story. Baby blowouts are amazing too. Wouldn’t even think it’s possible for so much excrement to come out of someone so small. 
 

Re: monthly visits, you gotta out your foot down. Tell the missus you’re willing to be the bad guy, but if it’s causing stress like that, sounds like it needs to be done. 
Im definitely not the best person to ask for advice though, cause my relationship with my parents is friendly but distant. Distant for a reason lol

Just shooed away a dude that was flying a drone by our windows.

  On 5/31/2021 at 8:48 PM, zero said:

I shook the grill a bit, and it ended up running off. BUT it left a bunch of tiny pink rat babies in there in a big disgusting nest. I used some sticks to put the nest on the ground, and now there are several pink mutant babies squirming around in my backyard. I am not a bad person, but I don't know what else I could have done. the big rat is gone, and so it is up to mother nature now to decide. we get a lot of turkey vultures around here, which will no doubt know what to do.

but FFS, now my grilling plan is ruined because no way in hell am I using that thing now.

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I would have recommended option f (grill the rats for memorial day hotdogs), but it seems you went with good ole option g (treat the crows to a really good memorial day meal).

  On 5/31/2021 at 10:37 PM, J3FF3R00 said:

Haha! I don’t want to go into too much detail because the whole story is actually personal and a bit sad but one of our family members that we visited lives alone, is legally blind and has problems making it to the toilet on time. We discovered black trails in and out of the bathroom and across the apartment. Also, when we were there, the baby had a MASSIVE blow out and that got all all over the floors and my wife’s shoes, clothes, etc. Baby was covered head to toe in shit and screaming like crazy and when I was cleaning/changing her, MIL picked that moment to try and mind meld with the baby to calm her down and made it impossible for me to clean her. I had to let her know twice that she was so close to the baby that her collar and ponytail were in danger of getting shit on them. She was also in my way making it impossible for me to clean the baby’s ass. Meanwhile, the baby’s changing pad was precariously slipping around in the kitchen table and when MIL almost pulled her off the edge I said “don’t pull the baby!” Out of caution and she snapped back “you’re pulling the baby!” Which wasn’t physically possible because she had her hands on the baby and my hands were full of shitty baby wipes . It was terrible  

MIL left Wednesday and I’ve been replaying all of the worst moments in my head on repeat over and over, trying to figure out what the fuck the issue was. I think it really just comes down to control issues. My assumption now is that she feels threatened by me because she isn’t in complete control of her only grandchild. Thus, any polite request I make is interpreted as a threat. Now she wants to come visit every month and my wife is too intimidated to tell her no. I’m fucking done. 

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Edit:  I've been spending the past five days with my sister getting viciously criticized for everything I say, do, or don't do, so I'm kinda doing a similar thing in my head now that it's over.

I think I may have ADD, but if I went to a doctor with that, I'm convinced they'd be more than happy to prescribe me something regardless of whether I actually did or not.