stupid first world problems you're dealing with

  On 6/3/2022 at 9:55 PM, zkom said:

Yeah, they were pretty good and she got into some art school later. She was just very bohemian or something I guess.

Not relating to the art but let's say some bit questionable life choices, though not drugs, it seemed like she was heading for trouble at the time. But what I heard from her a couple of years later she seemed to be doing ok. On that date I also realized that my own life is very mediocre and practically boring.

Hmmm, well I'm glad to hear things worked out for her.  Were/are you content with things being on the more mediocre and boring side, or did it make you want to shake things up a bit?

  On 6/3/2022 at 3:21 PM, zkom said:

On one first date I went to the woman brought her art portfolio to show. Like a literal folder filled with paintings and drawings. On the first date. In a cafe.

did she get the job?

  On 6/3/2022 at 10:01 PM, Zephyr_Nova said:

Hmmm, well I'm glad to hear things worked out for her.  Were/are you content with things being on the more mediocre and boring side, or did it make you want to shake things up a bit?

Well, sometime after that when I got laid off from work I gave up my apartment and bought a one-way ticket to the Caribbean and spent about 8 months traveling without a permanent residence. But I don't think it was that particular date that made me do it, but it was something I had been planning for years and the opportunity just came then. Maybe talking with her gave some extra push though.

Oh wow, that's great!  Certainly far from mundane or boring.  I ought to do some more serious travelling in my life.  

trying really hard not to post a rant online about some current ambient music or the current state of ambient music as i understand it or don't understand it apparently. 

  On 6/4/2022 at 6:12 PM, ignatius said:

trying really hard not to post a rant online about some current ambient music or the current state of ambient music as i understand it or don't understand it apparently. 

Hope you give in to the urge, love a good rant. 

  On 6/4/2022 at 6:12 PM, ignatius said:

trying really hard not to post a rant online about some current ambient music or the current state of ambient music as i understand it or don't understand it apparently. 

Do it

This will be my Q2 oversharing self-pity post. I feel pretty good about it.

It seems that, somewhat inevitably, my stupid reptile dopamine fiend brain has finally fallen victim to some variation of the online shopping feedback shitshow. Getting into various forms of DIY combined with the sustained threat of various crises are kind of a perfect storm for fucking consumer simpletons like me. I don't actually buy that much, don't have the money and I'm terrified of debt and also it's not really the point anyway, but will spend ages and ages foraging for the best deal on the best whatever the fuck I think I need that will provide some relief or redemption or security or something. Back in my freebase cocaine addict days I had a few bouts of what is known as transient compulsive foraging where you start looking for bits of accidentally dropped coke, which in my case was triggered by finding an actual decently sized chunk under my kitchen table where I'd cook the freebase. Before I knew it I was literally on hands and knees going through every bit of white debris. Even though I was alone each time it happened I still felt embarrassed about this pathetic behaviour, being aware of what was going on and how unlikely it was that I'd find anything 10 meters from where I would smoke. Still it was very difficult to stop and when I finally did, I would easily lapse and go back to it and snap out of it after loading the umpteenth breadcrumb or bit of drywall into my pipe and coughing my lungs out and repeat the cycle. The current situation isn't nearly as bad but it sucks to realize what a fucking ridiculous weak willed pointless wanker I am and how easily I fall into the trap of thinking things are complex while it's just manifestations of the same basic instinctive/biological mechanism. It's shitheads like me why we can't have nice things. 

My phone got obliterated the other night when it fell out of my pocket as I was getting out of a cab (unbeknownst to me).  I suspect a car ran it over at some point.  Possibly the same cab i got out of.  Didn't find out until the next day when i did some online phone tracking espionage.  Tracked it to a nearby gas station, GF phoned them, was told someone DID turn in a phone.  Drove there all excited to get my phone back.  Clerk pulls out the phone.  I'm like "oh that's not my phone, mine isn't completely obliterated.... oh shit that IS my phone.  Noooooooooo...."  On the bright side, I now have a brand new google pixel, which is the type of phone I've been sorely missing for the camera/video capabilities (had one once before, then dropped it a few inches to its death - got a much better case this time.)  But this leads to my OTHER SFWP which is that I need money!!  Fast!!  Ahhh!!!

I now have Photoshop, a drawing pad, and a drawing glove. But I can't draw for shit. And I've been meaning to do a sketch for the past two weeks that I haven't started because there are lots of pros out there and I keep comparing myself to them and don't know what the hell I'm doing.

I guess at some point I just need to be like "fuck it" and start drawing anyway, despite being a total beginner.

  On 6/9/2022 at 4:04 AM, ambermonke said:

I now have Photoshop, a drawing pad, and a drawing glove. But I can't draw for shit. And I've been meaning to do a sketch for the past two weeks that I haven't started because there are lots of pros out there and I keep comparing myself to them and don't know what the hell I'm doing.

I guess at some point I just need to be like "fuck it" and start drawing anyway, despite being a total beginner.

Start with something you like, like boobs...

  On 6/9/2022 at 4:04 AM, ambermonke said:

I now have Photoshop, a drawing pad, and a drawing glove. But I can't draw for shit. And I've been meaning to do a sketch for the past two weeks that I haven't started because there are lots of pros out there and I keep comparing myself to them and don't know what the hell I'm doing.

I guess at some point I just need to be like "fuck it" and start drawing anyway, despite being a total beginner.

This is how I felt (and still feel) about music production.  But yeah, you just gotta dive in. Boobs.

My new 1st world problem:

Last week I dropped my bluetooth mouse and now the scroll wheel doesn't run so smoothly. It's not bad enough that I need to get a new mouse, but its annoyingly noticeable "somtimes"..... FWP right there 

  On 6/9/2022 at 4:04 AM, ambermonke said:

because there are lots of pros out there and I keep comparing myself to them and don't know what the hell I'm doing.

just start with the easy stuff. don't think about what the pros are doing, 'cause you're not a pro! I remember when I was like 11 or 12 or something, I took a drawing class and the starting point was like drawing simple cartoon characters, like homer simpson or the like. just practice drawing easy things then advance from there. 

yeah this is like the most basic advice ever, and I don't draw at all, so maybe there's a better way to master it, I dunno 

draw gokus and penises. super saiyan 3 penises. gonises (goku-penis fusion). trust me.

  On 6/9/2022 at 8:16 PM, toaoaoad said:

 

 

This is pretty much what I did a few years ago. I used to draw when I was younger and then didn't for about ten years or so, and during that time I would get really frustrated whenever I would try to draw something because "I used to be good" and couldn't get anything right anymore, based on some arbitrary standard. But I really wanted to start drawing again. So I made up a system for myself and set out to do it for one full year. These were the "rules" (read em):

- Draw something every day.
- If you do skip a day, you have to make up the drawing the next time you do one. If you skip five days, you must do six drawings on the sixth day, etc. (The point of this is to acknowledge that obviously you're not gonna want to do it on some days, giving you the option to skip it without "failing" at the entire exercise - but it also motivates you not to go too long, since the work will have to get done either way. This really worked.)
- The drawing does not have to be good and should not be held up to any kind of standard. In fact it can be helpful to do really bad drawings on purpose sometimes. You have to be completely 100% free to fuck it up and do bad work. Keep a sense of humour and never take it too seriously. As much as you can, let go of any sort of expectation about the work whatsoever, besides that it gets done.
- Your drawings are completely private and should not be shown to anyone. You might decide to later down the road, but for now, keeping it private is integral to your sense of freedom to develop without judgment. Even positive feedback can mess with your progress.
- The drawing does not have to be "a drawing". You can do a single line on the page and call that your drawing for the day. (Obviously don't just do that every day lol. The point is that it's better to get the task done in a minimal way than to not do it at all. Similar principle for point #2. Most of the time you will probably want to do the day's work and eventually might even start to look forward to it.) In essence, the drawing can be anything, as long as you put something on the page for that day.
- I also found it helpful to do them in a book. It added to the sequential, "project" feel of the exercise I guess. And consistency. Buying the first book felt symbolic of making the commitment. This part isn't necessary tho. It sounds like you might be talking about digital art anyway. But this system should work just fine for that too.

So yeah, this is a breakdown of the rules I made for myself, I thought it was worth sharing because it really worked for me. Surely someone will get better at anything they do every day for a year. And if I didn't have this system in place I know I wouldn't have kept it up more than like a week max lol.

Over time I sorta developed a new style through that process, just by working with pens and lines. Not trying to do realistic drawings or shading and all that, just abstract line drawings. Way different than whatever I used to do way back or in art classes. I started getting really into it and was doing multiple drawings a day etc. I went the full year plus several months more, in the end. But I dried up eventually awhile after that, can't remember why, some bullshit.

I've been doing the exercise again since April tho!

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nice advice. i'd like to add to try different kind of papers and pencils (chemical, charcoal, graphite, ink, etc). experimentation in discovering new surfaces is a lot of fun, and it helps with motivation. i draw on napkins, newspapers, wrapping papers of all kinds, cartons, cardboards, ceramic, stone, wood.... combine water colors and soft tip markers, color pencils, crayons...

also try to practice volumes and perspective. construct different complex objects from simpler cubes, pipes, etc.

was pacing around the house and rather loudly talking to myself, trying to work through a traumatizing situation I went through years ago that still gives me extra strong feels at times, and also had very weird ambient music blasting on the stereo, when I hear a boomer neighbor ever-so-lightly knocking on the door. Nobody ever comes to my door. They just had a random question about the property. God knows how long they were out there, but I'm sure they heard me ranting for some length of time, listening to what probably sounded like an esoteric cult ritual at full blast.

I rarely interact with my neighbors, but when I do, I make sure I'm blazing crazy. 

  On 6/11/2022 at 8:15 AM, toaoaoad said:

Yes definitely this. I went through all kinds of half-dried-up markers and pens that had collected in drawers, old pencil-crayons etc. Using something like that pretty much gives you your idea for the day in itself, and also kinda gives the pen its last hurrah. You can get some cool textures with markers that are drying out.

I haven't tried many of these various surfaces but it sounds fun. Drawing on ceramic/stone/wood would be new for me. And yeah I'm all for using recycled paper/paper products and stuff like that. I was cutting things out of flyers and christmas cards and stuff for collage application too, just using pieces of colour from various sources. It's also cool if you can find any really old, weathered/yellowed paper.

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Yes! Dried out markers are great for textures. Textures in general can be lots of fun, and give a different vibe or a character to a picture.

I also like just the feel of a ball pen on a paper towel. Or use watercolors on a newspaper, with a tiny amount of adhesive made of water and flour, will make the newspaper stick to a surface and wrinkle nicely to make a texture out of printed words, etc.

Got my new Mac Studio and it turns out an EQ I use doesn't work on the new Mac OS so now I have to open a bunch of projects on my old computer, replace the EQ with a different one before I can start using my new computer.

no offense but you keep complaining about how your MIL treats you like shit, maybe it's time to tell your wife you've had it and confront the MIL about all this. while you're at it, tell the wife it wasn't cool of her to leave you all the dirty work. simple. 

  On 6/11/2022 at 4:33 PM, J3FF3R00 said:

Currently staying in a nice, cliff-side hotel with an ocean view… with my narcissistic mother in law. 
Naturally, neither my wife nor my MIL lifts a finger and I have to do all the packing, unpacking, driving, baby wrangling/cleaning/bathing/diapers, etc.  Not exaggerating. I literally have to do everything. 
On top of this, my MIL is up to her same old schtick of constantly minimizing, and misinterpreting me to fuel her own distorted views of me in order to boost her raging ego. 
Meanwhile, the exceedingly few times I make a small requests in order to make me job easier (or to maybe enjoy myself, god forbid), I’m met with either immediate opposition, criticism, contradiction or just dirty looks. 

At least we are somewhere pretty. If we were back home I would just be constantly ignored or insulted in my own house. Good times

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i try not to bring people i hate with me on vacation. it sucks for you and i don't know how you keep putting up w/this situation. if it gets to the point where it's effecting your relationship w/your wife then it's something that's been a problem for far too long. seriously, burring all this shit in side and not venting your spleen about it will cause health problems eventually. 

Perhaps an "accident" could be arranged.

  On 6/11/2022 at 6:15 PM, brian trageskin said:

no offense but you keep complaining about how your MIL treats you like shit, maybe it's time to tell your wife you've had it and confront the MIL about all this. while you're at it, tell the wife it wasn't cool of her to leave you all the dirty work. simple. 

. 

  On 6/11/2022 at 6:24 PM, ignatius said:

i try not to bring people i hate with me on vacation. it sucks for you and i don't know how you keep putting up w/this situation. if it gets to the point where it's effecting your relationship w/your wife then it's something that's been a problem for far too long. seriously, burring all this shit in side and not venting your spleen about it will cause health problems eventually. 

Trust

fucking car key fell apart at work today 

  On 6/11/2022 at 9:21 PM, J3FF3R00 said:

We’re trying to into couples’ therapy at the moment and I’m biding my time until I can get an objective third party to back me up on some of this shit. 

this sounds like a good plan. i hope it goes well and produces positive results.