stupid first world problems you're dealing with

yeah i get that when i smoke non menthol

i started smoking when i was 13 and quit when i was 16 no problem. but then started again in college and now i am horribly, cripplingly addicted. plus i had some uh... mood shit "mature" between then and now so i'll be like YEAH IM GONNA QUIT and do fine for a few weeks and then BAM everything nosedives and im back to a pack a day. LOVE IT.

PERSONAL SHIT ON THE INTERNET AW YEAH not vamos levels though so i think i'm still good.

have you tried those electronic cigarettes? they seem good to ween you off real cigarettes.

  Quote

i was smoking a cigarette on the porch, as i tend to do about once a fortnight, when something unusual happened. a flying saucer descended from the sky, spinning and flashing and blinking. it parked in my yard, outside the porch. a hatch opened, and green alien men filed out from it in a placid, orderly fashion. all of the green alien men were wearing tailored 3-piece suits, and had expensive watches. one stepped forward and rapped on the window. i opened the porch door and asked what they wanted.

 

my question was answered with another question. they asked me, did i want to be a winner? i bluntly replied that i'd asked them what they wanted first, but my puerile wordplay seemed to be lost in translation. the question was repeated, did i want to be a winner? sure, why not, i said. it was a very general classification, but a positive one.

 

i was then told that to be a winner, i had to be a go-getter. to be a winner, i had to be a closer. i was told how winners got a life with four audis to choose from in the morning, and 2.3 martinis to enjoy in the evening. i was presented with a blackberry pearl, and told it was a gift for me. they said i could also have nice 3-piece suits, a legion of expensive watches, and a membership to an exclusive manhattan gym. they said i could have all these things, if i got on their Ship and took a Trip with them.

 

however, i'd been somewhat put off by their general lack of humor, and they seemed to spout the same babble no matter which questions i asked. additionally, their flying saucer struck me as kind of gaudy, i don't wear watches, and i hate suits.

 

so, i refused. i gave them back their blackberry pearl. they seemed a bit ruffled, for the first time, but continued calmly nonetheless. they insisted that i'd be insane to refuse such an offer. i was told that if i was not a winner, that would mean i'd be a loser. another called out from the ranks, a catcall suggesting that i was an impossible-to-help loser, and that they shouldn't have bothered with me. the leader shushed him and said to give me a chance to be reasonable. would i be sane, do the right thing, be a go-getter, a closer, a winner?

 

the good-cop/bad-cop routine was the final straw. i snubbed out my cigarette (only 3/4 done), closed the door, and went inside. i then closed my eyes and leaned on the wall, letting my mind drift a little in the hopes i'd calm down and forget i'd just been pitched by a cult of alien yuppies. however, something disproportionately dramatic happened: instead of my mind clearing, i felt it floating upwards, flipping upside-down and sideways. but, when i opened my eyes, i was back in my body again. while this sounds cool, it was actually intensely nauseating, like an over-the-top amusement park ride. i felt the argument with the aliens playing back in my head over and over, asking the same questions, would i be a winner, would i be a closer, would i be a go-getter, to which i replied, over and over, no, no, no, no, no. i peered out the blinds and saw the aliens were still there, staring at my porch. they were getting into my head, trying to argue me into changing my mind -- or trick me, or simply wear me down with constant pestering and heckling. they were trying to steal my soul.

 

at this point, my dinner of greasy chinese food, the scotch, and my general weakness to nicotine combined with the aliens' astral noodling to mass effect. i hurled myself into the bathroom, and hurled part of my stomach contents into the toilet shortly thereafter. i noticed that while the aliens were still in my head, they were quieter and less forceful after i'd puked. i tried to stand, but had to abort midway in order to eject the rest of my stomach contents. i noticed the voices were quieter still. their energy had been partially channeled through junk food, alcohol, and nicotone. however, even with the nicotine wearing off, i still heard them. they heckled, teased, and argued. so, i stumbled back into the living room and packed a bowl. after a few puffs, the voices started to seem intensely silly. i couldn't help but giggle uncontrollably at voices, and at everything they said. my laughter seemed to terrify the alien voices, causing them to flee. and i thought this stuff just made music better....

http://www.ricedoutyugo.com/view.php?post=3063

  On 8/5/2011 at 11:37 AM, AcrossCanyons said:

have you tried those electronic cigarettes? they seem good to ween you off real cigarettes.

lol yeah actually! i caved and bummed a couple from my roommate and then was at the gas station trying to convince myself not to buy a pack of smokes and instead bought one of those thingers. hopefully it works. i seem to be not-crazy so far, so that's good.

edit: i dunno what that was hahathhat but i loved it

  On 8/5/2011 at 9:11 AM, Zephyr_Nova said:

  On 8/4/2011 at 5:02 AM, modey said:

I keep re-working songs for the new Pselodux album in my head without actually recording anything.

 

Very cool, I would love to try approaching more tracks that way, though I'm not sure my memory would be kind enough for it to work.

It's killing me. I have a perfect, beautiful vision of how the album will sound in my head, but I'm too afraid to actually record anything because I feel it might not live up to that vision. I just need to keep telling myself that the 15 minutes of material I have actually recorded (one 3-part piece) is probably the best stuff I've done so far, and that any version of the music in my head that I put down will be light years ahead of the last album. It's hard though!

  On 8/5/2011 at 11:49 AM, disparaissant said:

  On 8/5/2011 at 11:37 AM, AcrossCanyons said:

have you tried those electronic cigarettes? they seem good to ween you off real cigarettes.

lol yeah actually! i caved and bummed a couple from my roommate and then was at the gas station trying to convince myself not to buy a pack of smokes and instead bought one of those thingers. hopefully it works. i seem to be not-crazy so far, so that's good.

 

edit: i dunno what that was hahathhat but i loved it

it seemed to be working for my mum (who has been smoking for 30+ years). her only downfall with it was ordering more cartridges because she had to get me to do it every time for her. i think if she had a supply of those before she ran out she would still be using that over real cigarettes.

lots of rich food made for a difficult wiper.

Insects

  On 8/5/2011 at 12:20 AM, chenGOD said:

^^^^

People repost the same material in same threads

mine was more format-friendly

My cell phone's fucked because water got inside it. I had it in the same backpack as my swim trunks/soaking wet shirt after tubing. Tubing's all fun and well when it's happening, but the consequences are many.

Other than that, I'm experiencing a general sense of unease/dread but am not sure why. *taps fingers restlessly*

  On 8/5/2011 at 11:48 AM, hahathhat said:

  Quote

i was smoking a cigarette on the porch, as i tend to do about once a fortnight, when something unusual happened. a flying saucer descended from the sky, spinning and flashing and blinking. it parked in my yard, outside the porch. a hatch opened, and green alien men filed out from it in a placid, orderly fashion. all of the green alien men were wearing tailored 3-piece suits, and had expensive watches. one stepped forward and rapped on the window. i opened the porch door and asked what they wanted.

 

my question was answered with another question. they asked me, did i want to be a winner? i bluntly replied that i'd asked them what they wanted first, but my puerile wordplay seemed to be lost in translation. the question was repeated, did i want to be a winner? sure, why not, i said. it was a very general classification, but a positive one.

 

i was then told that to be a winner, i had to be a go-getter. to be a winner, i had to be a closer. i was told how winners got a life with four audis to choose from in the morning, and 2.3 martinis to enjoy in the evening. i was presented with a blackberry pearl, and told it was a gift for me. they said i could also have nice 3-piece suits, a legion of expensive watches, and a membership to an exclusive manhattan gym. they said i could have all these things, if i got on their Ship and took a Trip with them.

 

however, i'd been somewhat put off by their general lack of humor, and they seemed to spout the same babble no matter which questions i asked. additionally, their flying saucer struck me as kind of gaudy, i don't wear watches, and i hate suits.

 

so, i refused. i gave them back their blackberry pearl. they seemed a bit ruffled, for the first time, but continued calmly nonetheless. they insisted that i'd be insane to refuse such an offer. i was told that if i was not a winner, that would mean i'd be a loser. another called out from the ranks, a catcall suggesting that i was an impossible-to-help loser, and that they shouldn't have bothered with me. the leader shushed him and said to give me a chance to be reasonable. would i be sane, do the right thing, be a go-getter, a closer, a winner?

 

the good-cop/bad-cop routine was the final straw. i snubbed out my cigarette (only 3/4 done), closed the door, and went inside. i then closed my eyes and leaned on the wall, letting my mind drift a little in the hopes i'd calm down and forget i'd just been pitched by a cult of alien yuppies. however, something disproportionately dramatic happened: instead of my mind clearing, i felt it floating upwards, flipping upside-down and sideways. but, when i opened my eyes, i was back in my body again. while this sounds cool, it was actually intensely nauseating, like an over-the-top amusement park ride. i felt the argument with the aliens playing back in my head over and over, asking the same questions, would i be a winner, would i be a closer, would i be a go-getter, to which i replied, over and over, no, no, no, no, no. i peered out the blinds and saw the aliens were still there, staring at my porch. they were getting into my head, trying to argue me into changing my mind -- or trick me, or simply wear me down with constant pestering and heckling. they were trying to steal my soul.

 

at this point, my dinner of greasy chinese food, the scotch, and my general weakness to nicotine combined with the aliens' astral noodling to mass effect. i hurled myself into the bathroom, and hurled part of my stomach contents into the toilet shortly thereafter. i noticed that while the aliens were still in my head, they were quieter and less forceful after i'd puked. i tried to stand, but had to abort midway in order to eject the rest of my stomach contents. i noticed the voices were quieter still. their energy had been partially channeled through junk food, alcohol, and nicotone. however, even with the nicotine wearing off, i still heard them. they heckled, teased, and argued. so, i stumbled back into the living room and packed a bowl. after a few puffs, the voices started to seem intensely silly. i couldn't help but giggle uncontrollably at voices, and at everything they said. my laughter seemed to terrify the alien voices, causing them to flee. and i thought this stuff just made music better....

http://www.ricedoutyugo.com/view.php?post=3063

I don't know if you're going to take this as creepy or not, but I totally named my cat Tedward Q. Porktanker II.

fine by me!

fact: the Q does not actually stand for anything.

His name was already Teddy when I got him, but he's really more of a fucking Tedward.

Don't tell my girlfriend I changed his name to Tedward.

  On 8/5/2011 at 11:37 AM, AcrossCanyons said:

have you tried those electronic cigarettes? they seem good to ween you off real cigarettes.

Those things are awesome.

  On 8/5/2011 at 11:37 AM, AcrossCanyons said:

have you tried those electronic cigarettes? they seem good to ween you off real cigarettes.

Those things are awesome.

  On 8/6/2011 at 5:08 AM, Sprigg said:

  On 8/5/2011 at 11:37 AM, AcrossCanyons said:

have you tried those electronic cigarettes? they seem good to ween you off real cigarettes.

 

Those things are awesome.

 

  On 8/5/2011 at 11:37 AM, AcrossCanyons said:

have you tried those electronic cigarettes? they seem good to ween you off real cigarettes.

 

Those things are awesome.

better living through electricity

  On 8/6/2011 at 5:08 AM, Sprigg said:

  On 8/5/2011 at 11:37 AM, AcrossCanyons said:

have you tried those electronic cigarettes? they seem good to ween you off real cigarettes.

 

Those things are awesome.

 

  On 8/5/2011 at 11:37 AM, AcrossCanyons said:

have you tried those electronic cigarettes? they seem good to ween you off real cigarettes.

 

Those things are awesome.

better living through electricity

my cornerstore atm will only dispense $50 notes and I'd really only like to withdraw $20 of money that isn't mine than $50 that isn't mine. goddamnit

solution: withdraw $200 that isn't yours.

  On 8/6/2011 at 11:23 AM, usagi said:

I'm spending a fortune on takeaway food and need desperately to learn how to fucking cook, but every time I try the results are disappointing. Woe is me.

Just start with super simple pasta dishes. Here's one I like to make once a week or so:

Chop up half a red onion, half a green capsicum, some mushrooms, and a clove or two of garlic. Fry the fuck out of them in a nice hot pan with some nice olive oil, italian herbs, a tablespoon of red pesto and sriracha if you're that way inclined (I am). Red kidney beans or chick peas are also good at this stage. For a bit more texture add a teaspoon or two of tomato paste, and a splash of water / chicken stock. Add salt and pepper to taste.

Start cooking the pasta about halfway through this process. I like to use La Tina basil pesto & parmesan agnolotti, it's fucking beautiful.

Add about a quarter to one half of a lemon's juice into your sauce, this is optional of course but will make the sauce taste amazing. Also optional is about a teaspoon of butter, good for a slight creamy taste.

Once the pasta is cooked, drain it and mix with your sauce, and there you go, amazing pasta with no need for ridiculous stir through tomato based sauces! Makes two generous serves if you use a 2 serve pack of agnolotti.

Also really good with diced pork, just make sure you cook the pork a bit before you throw the other stuff in the pan though.

I might have missed a few things but I got to this recipe by just slowly adding ingredients to stir-through sauces until it started tasting really awesome without the sauce!

get a solid set of directions -- references and all that shit, corroboration yo -- and follow it precisely.

after you do it a couple times, you'll start to understand the progression of it all. at this stage, you should begin to tinker with it.

as you get a handle on multiple recipes, correlations show up, and you start to understand "cooking"

this reminds me of something else.

here's one:

Ingredients - pasta, golden syrup, garlic, soy sauce, onion

step 1: cook pasta

step 2: cook onion in golden syrup, garlic, and soy sauce

step 3: combine

deliciousness

I just did this and it WORKS

or get a slow cooker and make awesome chili

i just went vegetarian again and i forgot i can't eat mcdonald's hash browns anymore and now i am sad.

  On 8/6/2011 at 1:15 PM, disparaissant said:

i just went vegetarian again and i forgot i can't eat mcdonald's hash browns anymore and now i am sad.

no cigarettes. no hash browns. i can't imagine the pressure. my dear, you're going to wind up exploding in a drunken rage of cigarettes and mcdonalds wrappers.

yeah what the fuck are you punishing yourself for disparaissant? just like, relax, smoke something and eat a load of bacon...life's too short for all that "not doing stuff" nonsense.

on the one side there is the nom nom, the temporary pleasure. cheeseburgers are delicious. on the other side there is Longterm Goals; your success as an individual. if you just eat cheeseburgers you will not be happy in the long run. if you're all career goals etc. you'll go mental under the pressure. the trick is to find a balance. you can cheat a bit -- some Longterm Goals can be kind of fun once you get into them.

you are a wise man hahathhat.

that's pretty much it right there, i've been going for the nom nom for years now and it's catching up to me. i figure i've got willpower right now so i might as well try to make some positive long-term changes.

plus the vegetarian thing is nbd, i've been vegetarian for nearly half my life, on and off. i'm not a huge fan of meat (hur hur) i'm all about the veggies.

oh another first world problem: about 10% of the time, when i try to upload an image in chrome, it fucking freezes. what the shit is that about? i've looked for help everywhere but to no avail, it just freezes. entirely. and totally randomly. i hate you, google.