stupid first world problems you're dealing with

try it when you're dehydrated, make pee cheese.

out of nowhere i am in a relationship with a girl who is pretty much everything i want in a partner. cute, funny, smart, wants to cuddle and watch bad movies and beat the shit out of me in the bedroom.

only she lives in pittsburgh. swore i'd never get into another long distance relationship but this one just kind of happened. mostly okay with it but the fact that none of the above can currently happen is agonising.

I'm annoyed that I woke up and couldn't fully remember my dream.

I know it involved a woman in a wheelchair, Idris Elba, a small child, a bottle of milk, running around Europe, mudflats, a bridge, a danish pub, tanks, guys trying to kill me with crowbars, and a Roots Manuva song.

  On 8/15/2011 at 1:33 PM, vamos scorcho said:

can't tell what's worse, having too much control over someone, or them having too much control over you.

both behaviors breed one another so neither imho

i ate so much bbq'd meat on saturday you would not believe. all kinds of meat... as a result i hadn't done a no.2 until 10 minutes ago and it was so huge and defined it looked like richard sandrak...

  On 8/16/2011 at 11:23 AM, usagi said:

  On 8/16/2011 at 9:35 AM, Stoppit said:

I'm annoyed that I woke up and couldn't fully remember my dream.

 

I know it involved a woman in a wheelchair, Idris Elba, a small child, a bottle of milk, running around Europe, mudflats, a bridge, a danish pub, tanks, guys trying to kill me with crowbars, and a Roots Manuva song.

 

Idris Elba starred in a mockumentary of Rodney 'Roots Manuva' touring around Europe and getting involved in charity work in the impoverished former Yugoslav states. one day while helping build a bridge for basic transport, a small child came up to him to ask for help getting his wheelchair-bound mother across some mudflats when some tanks rolled by and a bunch of militia guys jumped out and tried to kill him with some crowbars. turned out they'd been contracted by the local despot in a secret deal made in a danish pub to put a stop to this celebrity-sponsored charity nonsense, but it was all cool because Idris went 'hej I'm not Roots Manuva you dumme k'lling' and then they all cracked open a bottle of milk and chilled. roll credits to the sound of Colossal Insight.

I think it might have actually been Colossal Insight. Spooky.

  On 8/17/2011 at 4:45 AM, jefferoo said:

My wife does nothing to help out around the house. I do all of the cooking, cleaning and chores. On top of that, she just leaves food and shit out. I feel like I've tried everything. She just can't get her shit together and it's driving me fucking crazy.

I find it's always unbalanced (from my experience anyway). One person does everything simply because they have higher standards. I've been on both sides of this, it's really weird and I don't know what to do about it.

Are you better at cooking than her? I've had problems with that in the past - living with girlfriends who were amazing at cooking, and not wanting to cook anything myself because it'd pale in comparison.

  On 8/17/2011 at 4:48 AM, modey said:

  On 8/17/2011 at 4:45 AM, jefferoo said:

My wife does nothing to help out around the house. I do all of the cooking, cleaning and chores. On top of that, she just leaves food and shit out. I feel like I've tried everything. She just can't get her shit together and it's driving me fucking crazy.

I find it's always unbalanced (from my experience anyway). One person does everything simply because they have higher standards. I've been on both sides of this, it's really weird and I don't know what to do about it.

Are you better at cooking than her? I've had problems with that in the past - living with girlfriends who were amazing at cooking, and not wanting to cook anything myself because it'd pale in comparison.

it's simple, wash the pots and stuff

  On 8/17/2011 at 4:59 AM, tauboo said:

  On 8/17/2011 at 4:48 AM, modey said:

  On 8/17/2011 at 4:45 AM, jefferoo said:

My wife does nothing to help out around the house. I do all of the cooking, cleaning and chores. On top of that, she just leaves food and shit out. I feel like I've tried everything. She just can't get her shit together and it's driving me fucking crazy.

I find it's always unbalanced (from my experience anyway). One person does everything simply because they have higher standards. I've been on both sides of this, it's really weird and I don't know what to do about it.

Are you better at cooking than her? I've had problems with that in the past - living with girlfriends who were amazing at cooking, and not wanting to cook anything myself because it'd pale in comparison.

it's simple, wash the pots and stuff

No, I meant I don't know what to do about it when my standards are higher than those who I live with.

  On 8/17/2011 at 5:00 AM, modey said:

  On 8/17/2011 at 4:59 AM, tauboo said:

  On 8/17/2011 at 4:48 AM, modey said:

  On 8/17/2011 at 4:45 AM, jefferoo said:

My wife does nothing to help out around the house. I do all of the cooking, cleaning and chores. On top of that, she just leaves food and shit out. I feel like I've tried everything. She just can't get her shit together and it's driving me fucking crazy.

I find it's always unbalanced (from my experience anyway). One person does everything simply because they have higher standards. I've been on both sides of this, it's really weird and I don't know what to do about it.

Are you better at cooking than her? I've had problems with that in the past - living with girlfriends who were amazing at cooking, and not wanting to cook anything myself because it'd pale in comparison.

Expand  

it's simple, wash the pots and stuff

Expand  

No, I meant I don't know what to do about it when my standards are higher than those who I live with.

Expand  

My hi-fi's amp doesn't have a remote control, so I have to get up to change the volume manually. It's 2011, ffs.

My tortilla chips are a tad on the stale side. =\

can't tell how drunk i am

  On 8/17/2011 at 4:45 AM, jefferoo said:

My wife does nothing to help out around the house. I do all of the cooking, cleaning and chores. On top of that, she just leaves food and shit out. I feel like I've tried everything. She just can't get her shit together and it's driving me fucking crazy.

Time to get a new flatmate.

Just imagine the work you'd have to do if you added kids to this mix. Maybe there's a wifey training school you can take her to in the local area. Drop her off every day before work, and after a couple of weeks she'll be a new woman.

;-]

  On 8/17/2011 at 5:42 AM, Caretstik said:

My hi-fi's amp doesn't have a remote control, so I have to get up to change the volume manually. It's 2011, ffs.

My god !! You poor dear.

  On 8/17/2011 at 5:30 AM, jefferoo said:

  On 8/17/2011 at 5:00 AM, modey said:

  On 8/17/2011 at 4:59 AM, tauboo said:

  On 8/17/2011 at 4:48 AM, modey said:

  On 8/17/2011 at 4:45 AM, jefferoo said:

My wife does nothing to help out around the house. I do all of the cooking, cleaning and chores. On top of that, she just leaves food and shit out. I feel like I've tried everything. She just can't get her shit together and it's driving me fucking crazy.

I find it's always unbalanced (from my experience anyway). One person does everything simply because they have higher standards. I've been on both sides of this, it's really weird and I don't know what to do about it.

Are you better at cooking than her? I've had problems with that in the past - living with girlfriends who were amazing at cooking, and not wanting to cook anything myself because it'd pale in comparison.

it's simple, wash the pots and stuff

No, I meant I don't know what to do about it when my standards are higher than those who I live with.

It's not really a question of standards. I mean, I'm a better cook, but that doesn't mean I should have to also wash the dishes, take out the trash, vacuum, do the laundry, buy the groceries, pick up the apartment, clean the bathroom, do the taxes, put away food that's left out, turn off electronics, close the windows when we leave, turn off all the lights, get the mail and keep track of the bills.

Literally, I do fucking everything. Sometimes I truly believe my wife is border-line retarded.

I have to keep tabs on everything or else our lives will go to shit.

If you met my wife, it would al make sense. She is a lovable sweetheart but she does not exist in the physical realm.

Time to invest in one of these:

My first world problem for the last 6 weeks is that learning languages is hard work.

accidentally bought too much bread and I'm afraid it won't taste as good when I defrost it

  On 8/17/2011 at 7:30 AM, chenGOD said:

my first world problem for the last 6 weeks is that learning languages is hard work.

this

  On 8/17/2011 at 5:30 AM, jefferoo said:

  On 8/17/2011 at 5:00 AM, modey said:

  On 8/17/2011 at 4:59 AM, tauboo said:

  On 8/17/2011 at 4:48 AM, modey said:

  On 8/17/2011 at 4:45 AM, jefferoo said:

My wife does nothing to help out around the house. I do all of the cooking, cleaning and chores. On top of that, she just leaves food and shit out. I feel like I've tried everything. She just can't get her shit together and it's driving me fucking crazy.

I find it's always unbalanced (from my experience anyway). One person does everything simply because they have higher standards. I've been on both sides of this, it's really weird and I don't know what to do about it.

Are you better at cooking than her? I've had problems with that in the past - living with girlfriends who were amazing at cooking, and not wanting to cook anything myself because it'd pale in comparison.

it's simple, wash the pots and stuff

No, I meant I don't know what to do about it when my standards are higher than those who I live with.

It's not really a question of standards. I mean, I'm a better cook, but that doesn't mean I should have to also wash the dishes, take out the trash, vacuum, do the laundry, buy the groceries, pick up the apartment, clean the bathroom, do the taxes, put away food that's left out, turn off electronics, close the windows when we leave, turn off all the lights, get the mail and keep track of the bills.

Literally, I do fucking everything. Sometimes I truly believe my wife is border-line retarded.

I have to keep tabs on everything or else our lives will go to shit.

If you met my wife, it would al make sense. She is a lovable sweetheart but she does not exist in the physical realm.

boycott sexy times.

Using sex as a bargaining chip sets a bad precedent and only leads to resentment.

  On 8/17/2011 at 4:35 PM, patternoverlap said:

Using sex as a bargaining chip sets a bad precedent and only leads to resentment.

You act as if this is a rational thread.

  On 8/17/2011 at 4:47 PM, chenGOD said:

  On 8/17/2011 at 4:35 PM, patternoverlap said:

Using sex as a bargaining chip sets a bad precedent and only leads to resentment.

You act as if this is a rational thread.

lol good point. carry on...

i ordered records from juno.co.uk, which apparently packages orders like retarded children with corrugated cardboard and paste. instead of a box, they were internationally shipped in between two pieces of cardboard stuck together with adhesive. the conrad schnizler 2LP live album, which i ordered immediately after hearing he died, has tons of fucking dents and creases in the packaging. really?

Someone called me from the biology department yesterday to inform me I am going to be a teaching assistant this semester...this semester that starts tomorrow.