stupid first world problems you're dealing with

  On 6/20/2016 at 5:26 PM, caze said:

 

  On 6/18/2016 at 8:47 PM, usagi said:

I just spent 4 hours with this fucking thing. it's 5am now. I'm still going.

 

1 million cookies per second now.

 

fuck you usagi. I can't stop.

 

So there's a "sell" option in the game. Why would you ever want to sell your assets?

  On 6/20/2016 at 6:26 PM, Danny O Flannagin said:

 

  On 6/20/2016 at 5:26 PM, caze said:

 

  On 6/18/2016 at 8:47 PM, usagi said:

I just spent 4 hours with this fucking thing. it's 5am now. I'm still going.

 

1 million cookies per second now.

fuck you usagi. I can't stop.

So there's a "sell" option in the game. Why would you ever want to sell your assets?

Somehow my cursors are getting like 1400 cookies a second each.

  On 6/20/2016 at 6:26 PM, Danny O Flannagin said:

 

  On 6/20/2016 at 5:26 PM, caze said:

 

  On 6/18/2016 at 8:47 PM, usagi said:

I just spent 4 hours with this fucking thing. it's 5am now. I'm still going.

 

1 million cookies per second now.

 

fuck you usagi. I can't stop.

 

 

So there's a "sell" option in the game. Why would you ever want to sell your assets?

 

cause selling, say, cursors to buy grandmas would provide a immediate/short-term increase in cookies per second? I don't really know tbh

I wish life was as easy as this game

I've just opened my first portal to the cookieverse, 455million/second.

  On 6/20/2016 at 8:29 PM, caze said:

I've just opened my first portal to the cookieverse, 455million/second.

455M/second!

Holy hell

pro-tip...run autohotkey...

copy this into a notepad file and save as .ahk file type.

Tape down mouse button while you're at work.

my nanoloop 2 cart was accidentally shipped to australia and now it'll be about another 2 weeks before the replacement cart gets to me. so now my recently acquired lush-as-fuck famicom gb micro is just sitting around looking pretty but that's it.

still don't know if i'm getting a monomachine even though i paid for one over a month ago.

  On 6/20/2016 at 9:33 PM, StephenG said:

 

pro-tip...run autohotkey...

 

copy this into a notepad file and save as .ahk file type.

 

Tape down mouse button while you're at work.

 

 

~$LButton::

KeyWait LButton, T0.5

If ErrorLevel

While GetKeyState("LButton", "P"){

Click

Sleep 25

}

 

if you're gonna cheat you might as well unlock everything using the console and end that nonsense

fuck that shitting cookie game, 900m/s atm

I quit last night. I just had a moment of "wtf am I doing" and closed the window. I think I'd baked a total of about 110 trillion cookies.

yeah, selling is pointless, and farms are the shittiest asset. invest in your clickers though.

  On 6/20/2016 at 9:48 PM, ThatSpanishGuy said:

 

  On 6/20/2016 at 9:33 PM, StephenG said:

 

pro-tip...run autohotkey...

 

copy this into a notepad file and save as .ahk file type.

 

Tape down mouse button while you're at work.

 

 

~$LButton::

KeyWait LButton, T0.5

If ErrorLevel

While GetKeyState("LButton", "P"){

Click

Sleep 25

}

 

 

if you're gonna cheat you might as well unlock everything using the console and end that nonsense

 

lol

Woman I was seeing last year that broke it off at the end of the year contacted me and asked if I wanted to meet last Wed. Since I was on my way out and she was at the place I was going to anyways, so I went there. She updated what was going on with her, diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, which would explain a lot. Had missed me and thought about contacting me again for a while now. She was tipsy when I came there and got more drunk as the evening went on. Ended up sleeping at her place. I don't know what to do, it's not like I got a lot of options on the lady front and I do like her even if she's a bit crazy. Asked to see her sober next time and talk how's it's going to be. Dunno really what to do. Not that I really want to take advantage of her crazyness for some 'tang.

  On 6/20/2016 at 10:08 PM, usagi said:

yeah, selling is pointless

nope

I just sold all my grannies in order to pause the Grandmapocalypse so I can get some fucking sleep. Hitting over 3 quadrillion cookies per second now.

@teriyakus

how come? way I see it, selling an asset doesn't give you enough cookies in return to purchase enough other assets which will be enough productive to pick up the slack from your now-sold assets plus produce enough more to justify the sell.

e.g. farms suck, but if I sold all my farms, I a) wouldn't have enough cookies to buy, say, a portal, and b) I'd be losing all the producing farms to buy, like, a bank or something which wouldn't produce enough more.

farms really do suck.

Finally sat down for that momentous inaugural elseq listen, then had to interrupt it after just seven minutes of feed1 to go take a shit.

elseq, the audio laxative.

Good thing I cleared my bowels before getting to 13x0 step though.

I don't know how you guys got to a quadrillion cookies per second but I have to stop, oh my god.

Here's some code I wrote to auto click and find the best prices:

// Set up auto-clicking of big cookie and golden cookies.
(function setupClicks() {
    var goldenCookie = document.getElementById('goldenCookie'),
        bigCookie = document.getElementById('bigCookie');

    var click = document.createEvent('Events');
    click.initEvent('click', true, true);

    // Click big cookie 1000 times a second
    setInterval(function doBigClick() { 
        bigCookie.dispatchEvent(click) 
    }, 1);

    // Try to click a golden cookie once a second.
    setInterval(function doGoldenClick() { 
        if (goldenCookie.style.display === 'none') 
            console.log('No golden cookie'); 
        else { 
            goldenCookie.dispatchEvent(click); 
            console.log('Clicked golden cookie'); 
        } 
    }, 1000);
}())

// Invoke to find best prices
function byPrice() {
    return Object.keys(Game.Objects).sort(comparePrices).map(namePrice);

    function comparePrices(a, b) {
        var pa = pricePerCps(Game.Objects[a]), 
            pb = pricePerCps(Game.Objects[b]); 

        if (isNaN(pa))
            return 1;

        if (pa === pb)
            return 0;

        return pa > pb ? 1 : -1; 
    }

    function namePrice(name) {
        return name + ' ' + pricePerCps(Game.Objects[name]);
    }

    function pricePerCps(o) { 
        return o.price / (o.storedTotalCps / o.amount * Game.globalCpsMult);
    } 
} 

  Quote

I don't know how you guys got to a quadrillion cookies per second but I have to stop, oh my god.

 

Here's some code I wrote to auto click and find the best prices:

 

The key was to auto-spawn and click the golden cookies (but not the wrath cookies), that way you remain with a 7x and 777x multiplier, plus all the bonus cookies:

var autoClickGold = function() {
    if (Game.goldenCookie.life > 0 && Game.goldenCookie.wrath == 0) {
        Game.goldenCookie.click();
    }
};

var autoGold = function() {
  Game.goldenCookie.time = Game.goldenCookie.minTime;
  Game.goldenCookie.life = 0;
  Game.goldenCookie.spawn();
};

..up to 8.5 quadrillion a second now.

Oh damn, I haven't even seen the wrath cookies, I guess you get those after the Grandmapocalypse? Folks, don't use my golden click code, use caze's!

Nice one on manipulating the golden spawn time too.

skyping with dad and all of a sudden he started typing everything with caps on and just wouldn't stop. wtf dad.

You must have made him angry

no, it was a regular convo, he stopped now anyway.