stupid first world problems you're dealing with

yes, your honor, i'm pleading guilty. motherfucker stole my pb&j. i stood my ground and shot him in his fucking face.

judge: we still in florida?

YEH

judge: cool bro u free 2 go

I shared an office with a diagnosed kleptomaniac once, our director knew about her obviously but she wasn't "out" to everyone in the department. It really sucked having to play dumb every time something would disappear from the fridge, especially when I knew its wrapper was in our trash can, lol.

Also at first I was kind of fascinated by her behavior and I'd do things like leave my tea in an unlocked drawer and count the bags in the evening before leaving and again the next morning. But once I realized she'd do things like empty a pack of gum buried somewhere deep in my backpack while I was just across the hall for five minutes it started to creep me out a little.

Woke up screaming this morning with a sharp cramp in my left shin, but it only lasted about two seconds. Still aches though, and likely will for the rest of the day.

  On 3/3/2018 at 6:26 PM, ambermonk said:

Woke up screaming this morning with a sharp cramp in my left shin, but it only lasted about two seconds. Still aches though, and likely will for the rest of the day.

at a normie friend gathering with awful music, and I know better than to try and play some of my tunes. Pray for me

  On 3/3/2018 at 9:32 PM, span said:

at a normie friend gathering with awful music, and I know better than to try and play some of my tunes. Pray for me

at least your wise enough to know to keep your music to yourself...

I remember once playing Stairway To Heaven (yes the rock classic..!!!! wtf) to a group of adults who just didn't understand what the fuck was going on. It was almost like playing Godflesh to a bunch of teenyboppers or a church gathering. Since then I learnt to keep my stuff to myself. Best way.

Fuck it, play the weird shit anyway. I spend the last twenty minutes of most work days blasting Strapping Young Lad, Captain Beefheart and Shitty Flutes to coworkers who think Elton John is obscure.

That said, I have no friends and everyone is scared of me or simply dislikes me. ... So yeah, maybe keep it to yourself.

Reminds me of last week, first weekend in my new place. Ended up doing a spot of morning drinking on the Saturday with one of my new flatmates and some nutty (I assume coked up) girl he'd invited round.

He has Amazon Alexa thing in his room and the girl was hogging it, endless j cole songs. Even repeating them over and over. Eventually I cut in and said "Alexa, play agoraphobic nosebleed"

Alas alexa was not familiar with their works.

Imma play modeys teledildonix once they/I are/am too drunk to care

yeah I used to be really judgemental with people with music, I never realised it until a few close friends and my sisters told me that whenever I met new people I'd asap quietly ask them what music they liked. like psychological profiling. which is true, I used to be able to work people out with their answers.

nowadays I don't care so much, which I'm not so sure is a good or bad thing....

another fwp cause I'm bored... I got some fancy hot sauces (chipotle, jalapeño, and chipotle + pineapple iirc) and I dont know what to put them on (thinly veiled request for suitable recipes)

hot sauce on eggs is good. Put some on chicken before you cook it, like some thighs or wings. I like to put hot sauce in mayo to dip chips or pizza crusts in.

I got some fancy hot sauce the other day too. I've been binging that Hot Ones show on youtube. I went to Selfridges and bought this stupid stuff.

oh shit, i didnt think about eggs... also gotta agree with the mayo thing, Tabasco + mayo is so good

^ heil yeuh, make some buffalo chicken dip with that shit, or kick up yr pulled pork, chilli, pasta sauce (shrimp fra Diablo), bloody Marys... Sorry to say Brotendo but you have first world possibilities!

- Dobs fwp: still without power after that windy bitch of a noreaster, yet every other street/block around never even lost it. For a while (and through the worst of it) we were amongst the unscathed, until I awoke around 3 am to the sounds of chainsaws... Apparently this big fucker of a tree came down just across the intersection near us, and nibbas was on the case, though just who I'm not sure of. Went to have a looksie this afternoon and the whole thing doesn't compute, like the overhead wires in the path of collapse are completely intact. I suspect that when it went down the tree ppl had the electric ppl power off the lines (so the tree ppl don't kill themselves doing what they do), then some fucker forgot to turn the juice back on after everyting was done. Kicker that we're just an isolated 20-something houses w/o power, so I know we're way the fuck down on the list...

Urrrrgh... I hate it when friends move out into the middle of fucking nowhere because they get married, pop out kids and so on. I’m heading to a friend’s place now and it’s going to take an hour to get there.

Edit: and there’s a screaming kid on this train. Ffs...

  On 3/4/2018 at 12:24 PM, Squee said:

Urrrrgh... I hate it when friends move out into the middle of fucking nowhere because they get married, pop out kids and so on. I’m heading to a friend’s place now and it’s going to take an hour to get there.

 

Edit: and there’s a screaming kid on this train. Ffs...

If it's any consolation, I have to listen to screaming kids every Sunday night.

Woke up this evening and went to jump straight in the shower, which I don't normally do. No fucking hot water -_-

Really want to wear my Nails shirt but it makes me look like a nazi

I rely want to wear my Isis shirt but it makes me look like a terrorist.

Fucking studying on a Sunday for an interview tomorrow for a promotion. Blech.

I have a shirt that a work colleague bought me back from Uganda which reads 'Uganda, Pearl of Africa' which I feel to paranoid to wear around London in case certain tribes of people find it p r o b l e m a t i c

there's this guy around here that wears a bandanna over his face, hat over his eyes, military clothes and black boots, just a weird guy that looks shifty as fuck.

another dude on the bus tonight comes in with a red bandanna over his face (same guy?) . so drunk dude on the bus goes "you know you can get fucked up for wearing that colour around places"

bandanna dude replies he has friends in l.a. .

i dunno guys 

did a gallbladder removal operation yesterday (fucking stones) and my anesthesiologist's name was Dr. Noob (really), though it's actually possible that his is pronounced as Knob.

  On 3/6/2018 at 8:37 AM, eugene said:

did a gallbladder removal operation yesterday (fucking stones) and my anesthesiologist's name was Dr. Noob (really), though it's actually possible that his is pronounced as Knob.

not sure which is worse tbh. Although i guess you don't want a noob surgeon cutting into you.