stupid first world problems you're dealing with

Threw out my back yesterday doing a deadlift, wasn't necessary at all just didn't pay enough attention. Had to get someone to cover for me today as my job involves quite a lot of heavy lifting, which sucks because it means I don't get paid and I hate calling in sick.

On the other hand I'm now in bed with some oxazepam, tramadol and a white russian so it's a bit of a double edged sword. 

Did some finances last night and I had to pay a lot of money back because of VATs. Like a lot of money... fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

Left my green tea at home so now I'm sipping hot water and pretending it's green tea, ugh.

I was rather hungover yesterday and didn't have enough energy to do anything but watch Netflix.

FWS: woke up at 4 this morning and took my dog out to whiz under the light of the moon.

sah romantic.

  On 9/1/2018 at 2:29 PM, usagi said:

sah romantic.

i must still be logged in to chrome at some work computer bc there's a shitload of fantasy football articles on my news feed this morning.

  On 9/1/2018 at 8:21 PM, luke viia said:

i must still be logged in to chrome at some work computer bc there's a shitload of fantasy football articles on my news feed this morning.

You can sign out of all devices from your google account

Fruit fly infestation in my condo/apartment for the past month. Little bastards.

I'm afraid I can't take Ellen Ripley's advice on this matter either, for obvious reasons.

  On 9/2/2018 at 3:57 AM, ambermonk said:

Fruit fly infestation in my condo/apartment for the past month. Little bastards.

 

I'm afraid I can't take Ellen Ripley's advice on this matter either, for obvious reasons.

Holy shit I hate those fucking things. I legit accidentally broke a window in an old apt trying to eradicate those evil fuckers.

All I can say is good luck.

Thx mang. Gonna empty the trash again in the morning, see if that'll mitigate their population. They breed like jackrabbits, but worth a shot.

  On 9/2/2018 at 4:01 AM, ambermonk said:

Thx mang. Gonna empty the trash again in the morning, see if that'll mitigate their population. They breed like jackrabbits, but worth a shot.

Yeah and they're so small they're nearly invincible, can't hit them with damn near anything. But just big enough to annoy the shit out of you, especially in a swarm. 

If I was younger and dumber I might jury rig an Aqua Net flamethrower to eradicate a cloud at a time.

  On 9/2/2018 at 6:29 AM, sweepstakes said:

 

  On 9/2/2018 at 4:01 AM, ambermonk said:

Thx mang. Gonna empty the trash again in the morning, see if that'll mitigate their population. They breed like jackrabbits, but worth a shot.

Yeah and they're so small they're nearly invincible, can't hit them with damn near anything. But just big enough to annoy the shit out of you, especially in a swarm. 

 

If I was younger and dumber I might jury rig an Aqua Net flamethrower to eradicate a cloud at a time.

 

They're like those damn swarm thingies from System Shock 2. Except they don't actually harm you, thankfully. They're just a nuisance.

An incendiary weapon would be too dangerous I think. But Tinactin athlete's foot spray on the other hand...

Get a few jars/tupperware containers.  Drop a few slices of bananna in each.  Secure saran wrap over top.  Punch holes in saran wrap with pen.  They will all eventually make their way in and never leave until you release them back to he wild... or drown them if you're one of those sadistic folks.  But yeah, those traps work like a charm, and it's pretty neat when you get a big swarm in there.

they breed in the upper part of your sink drain if there is no food left for them, be sure to cover that up when not in use. 

Woke up at 3am groggy and hungover, needing a piss. Stumbled into the bathroom > fuck standing, sit down and r e l e a s e.

Something feels weird.

That evening my gf had met me from work. We got a bunch of beers and walked back to mine. Watched some stuff with even more beers. Went to bed around 1am. I slowly remember we'd got frisky after going to bed but don't remember any denouement.

I look down between my legs and there is a rapidly filling condom now becoming a piss balloon hanging off my cock.

I am still only about a third awake and have no idea what the best course of action is. So I just reach down and pull it off.

Big Mistake.

The piss now has somewhere to go, an exit. It gushes triumphantly out, a 3am golden explosion. Covering my hand, my cock and balls, the backs of my thighs, my arse.

I am now fully awake and feeling like old grim death, sitting on the toilet in the early hours covered in my own piss, holding an only half-used condom.

I sat there for a while slowly processing wtf just happened, before angrily shuffling towards the shower.

hahahaahahahaha idm

  On 9/2/2018 at 6:29 AM, sweepstakes said:

 

  On 9/2/2018 at 4:01 AM, ambermonk said:

Thx mang. Gonna empty the trash again in the morning, see if that'll mitigate their population. They breed like jackrabbits, but worth a shot.

Yeah and they're so small they're nearly invincible, can't hit them with damn near anything. But just big enough to annoy the shit out of you, especially in a swarm. 

 

If I was younger and dumber I might jury rig an Aqua Net flamethrower to eradicate a cloud at a time.

 

just buy some bug spray

  On 9/2/2018 at 12:41 PM, hello spiral said:

Woke up at 3am groggy and hungover, needing a piss. Stumbled into the bathroom > fuck standing, sit down and r e l e a s e.

Something feels weird.

That evening my gf had met me from work. We got a bunch of beers and walked back to mine. Watched some stuff with even more beers. Went to bed around 1am. I slowly remember we'd got frisky after going to bed but don't remember any denouement.

I look down between my legs and there is a rapidly filling condom now becoming a piss balloon hanging off my cock.

I am still only about a third awake and have no idea what the best course of action is. So I just reach down and pull it off.

Big Mistake.

The piss now has somewhere to go, an exit. It gushes triumphantly out, a 3am golden explosion. Covering my hand, my cock and balls, the backs of my thighs, my arse.

I am now fully awake and feeling like old grim death, sitting on the toilet in the early hours covered in my own piss, holding an only half-used condom.

I sat there for a while slowly processing wtf just happened, before angrily shuffling towards the shower.

That's the best thing I have ever read on the internet. Worthy of being talked about in hundreds of years like Chaucer's Canterbury Tales. Its one of those they never tell you ones innit.

  On 9/2/2018 at 7:50 AM, Zephyr_Nova said:

Get a few jars/tupperware containers.  Drop a few slices of bananna in each.  Secure saran wrap over top.  Punch holes in saran wrap with pen.  They will all eventually make their way in and never leave until you release them back to he wild... or drown them if you're one of those sadistic folks.  But yeah, those traps work like a charm, and it's pretty neat when you get a big swarm in there.

  On 9/2/2018 at 7:50 AM, Zephyr_Nova said:

Get a few jars/tupperware containers.  Drop a few slices of bananna in each.  Secure saran wrap over top.  Punch holes in saran wrap with pen.  They will all eventually make their way in and never leave until you release them back to he wild... or drown them if you're one of those sadistic folks.  But yeah, those traps work like a charm, and it's pretty neat when you get a big swarm in there.

Might try this method then if they persist. Cheers

angle-grinding (8:02am) neighbour doing summat on a boundary wall, cunt, tree surgeons lopping approx a dozen big beeches down a tad over too many days & a jack russell that turns into a cat when it's unseasonably hot

condom balloon d'leau pisse?

lol @ piss balloon.  Legendary.

  On 9/2/2018 at 5:47 PM, ambermonk said:

 

  On 9/2/2018 at 7:50 AM, Zephyr_Nova said:

Get a few jars/tupperware containers. Drop a few slices of bananna in each. Secure saran wrap over top. Punch holes in saran wrap with pen. They will all eventually make their way in and never leave until you release them back to he wild... or drown them if you're one of those sadistic folks. But yeah, those traps work like a charm, and it's pretty neat when you get a big swarm in there.

Might try this method then if they persist. Cheers

This is pretty much what I do but use apple cider vinegar w/ 1-2 drops of dish soap to break the surface tension and doom them to a sour grave

I had a major fruit fly problem once. Solved it by keeping all the trash outside in the balcony and all the veggies and fruits in the fridge for a few days. After that they were gone.