Write something random

  On 12/31/2020 at 11:11 AM, dingformung said:

He isn't wrong, though. There is something entitled and complacent about terrible street musicians that ruin the day of thousands of pedestrians (usually some dumb ass "countercultural" neohippis). They have no respect and pollute the soundscape of the city with their noise. They should be assaulted more frequently

Yeah I'll admit he makes a valid point. 

your dad walks in on you masturbating asmr

self-hypnosis tape designed to give you more self-confidence but every time you start to relax it seems like it's trying to give you a poop fetish

Slo

Motherfucking

Bird

Whistle

  On 1/1/2021 at 5:21 AM, sweepstakes said:

Slo

Motherfucking

Bird

Whistle

OR

A Pasta Inside the Present: Boards of Canada's Official Guide to Giftwrapping Cooked Spaghetti

*santa claus trying to take a shit down your chimney but he didn't check it for chimney weasels first voice* hoes mad. hoes mad. hoes mad.

  On 1/25/2021 at 10:09 PM, dingformung said:

bird coder collective represent 

it's nine o'clock
and I dine on cock
and my whole flock
does write code block

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A morning mantra for twitter's devs?

the nightmare spilled out into his bed. he did not piss himself. the dusty old sleeping bag is an entrance to a dream forest. morphing vibrations and rhythms.

new video evidence that biden's son is a reptilian shapeshifter. caught on film during trip to australia morphing into his true form. if u don't belief me just goggle "crocodile hunter"

there were no owls in the trees, only vhs tapes, there white plastic eyes recording his nasty brain noise. acid whitehouse grooves blasting out of the dense glowing fog.

in the spirit of inclusivity all of our dnb* tracks will now be made exclusively using the awomen break

the little rainbow followed the girl everywhere. her world a mirage. The ancient hypnotic shark music tranced all of the residents of the ghostly village into a new dub warp reality. Their shadows danced to the alien pulse.

Has anyone here ever visited Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobyllllantysiliogogogoch?

*comissioner goron at the end of batman begins voice* looks like we have a new mess for you to clean up batman. a new villain in town...intel says he's squarepusher's dutch cousin from the netherlands. likes to go bowling wearing wooden shoes. his name? bowlclogger

That's great, but draw it pretty please

You Will Break Up With

Ad Your Girlfriend If You Play (Dave Monolith)

Have you seen or heard of The Ale Bear?

I wager In the glare of the midday sun its tricky but once the beastly blast of the midday sun slowly ebbs away and the early evening rises like dust, he will appear.

Keep you eyes peeled  

zagreb is insane

rucki zucki

watmmishness

  On 2/6/2021 at 11:06 PM, eassae said:

Chloe sat at the table smoking when Tom walked through the door that evening. She wore white cotton underwear and a tight white t-shirt. Tom noticed the faint outline of her nipples. She turned to face him, suddenly, and for a moment he felt like a caught schoolboy. Her eyes were a bit red and streaked with black underneath. Her hair fell in thick waves past the center of her back.

Tom flipped on the light. Placing his hands flat on the counter, he rested the weight of his head between his shoulders. After a brief pause, he removed his damp clothes, laying them flat on the floor to dry. He put on a fresh pair of boxers, and joined her at the table. Chloe pushed a package of cigarettes toward him. He waved his hand to decline. Her air didn’t change at his refusal; she cocked her head to the side and blew smoke out the window, keeping her eyes on Tom.

If someone would have looked at the two of them sitting there at that moment through the window, framed in a pane of brick, they would have thought that there sat two beings enveloped by providence. They would have missed the marks from the years of struggle it took for them to reach their current state. They would have missed the traces of pain, shame, ignorance, misunderstanding and elation of these two organisms out of the other billions, struggling to find a way to give credence to their individual experiences of the world. They appeared as if nothing could be added or taken away. They settled on opposite sides of the balance and were able to sit eye to eye without fear.

Chloe didn’t ask why he had signed the contract. Tom didn’t ask her about the future. She didn’t ask how he planned to liberate humanity. He didn’t ask if she could forgive. She didn’t ask if he could forgive. They just sat there, not asking, and above all, not asking how long their present condition could last. Tom took in the flux of her sensuality; Chloe was entranced by his presence. That was enough. That was their perfection.

Blood ran through the streets and bugles sounded, accompanied by an orchestra of syncopated drums that accented births, bottles of wine being drunk, shots being fired, fruit picked, clean air and water being dirtied by tear gas. In circuses, actors who didn’t know for what reason they were playing their parts exchanged costumes. Clowns became lion tamers and the ringmaster replaced the young boy taking money and giving out prizes at the shooting gallery. The tent was ripped away and everything was out in the open. The animals broke their chains and took up whips in their mouths; they were finally free to eat and trample everything in sight, while angels and dead celebrities came down from the heavens for some fun. Some threw lightning bolts while others played cards and speculated about the horses. Diseases were cured and the population grew and grew and grew until it outgrew the wheat, so assassins set their sights on the benefactors of humanity, and the beat changed again. The xylophones, bells and timpani lost all sense of rhythm; the horns were all blown out, so the conductor looked to the strings to take the front guard. Their melody was complementary and sweet; it accompanied the construction of great buildings and the manufacturing and purchase of gewgaws, all made by those who went home each night to talk to their families and friends or to commit suicide. The speed of the act was dictated by the refrain, which increased its velocity and vigor a little each day, fueled by money, achievement and status, regulated by pharmaceuticals and nice, young, well-spoken boys in pressed shirts and shiny boots. And do they know how to make a bed! You’ll never see hospital corners so neat; so neat that dreams and tranquility would become uninviting, even for the weary conductor. He strives and strives to shape everyone up; he brings all the instruments back into harmony. The oboe provides a break for the violins, and the percussions are in time once again, shaking the earth and bringing the rain; the buildings fall and crops rise, but the need for your neighbor’s labor never goes away; doctors haven’t learned how to eliminate the stomach and life keeps multiplying. Sitting near an open window in the middle of all this was Tom and Chloe, looking into one another’s eyes, fully aware and accepting of what was happening.

They stood and moved to the bed in unison, without any prompting. More shots were fired, and they could hear troops outside their door in the hallway, slipping on blood running down the stairs, while trying to reach the second floor. Chloe removed Tom’s boxers. Tom removed Chloe’s shirt and underwear. They lay down parallel on the bed, and pressed against each other; nose, nipples and knees became points of contact. They heard a man shout from the street that water was on sale, followed by the sound of thousands of people running in his direction. Tom felt dismembered, but he still maintained a psychic control over his limbs. He directed them to wrap around Chloe to protect her from the growing fire. The Devil just laughed at the pair as he continued to stoke coals with a long-handled trident. Chloe laughed back; she was immune to the rising heat, she was safe there with Tom. Together they existed in all realities simultaneously. They built and destroyed thousands upon thousands of worlds, and kept detailed records of the achievements and failures of each. Tom entered Chloe and everything stopped. Planes, birds and space stations fell from the sky like feathers, resting softly on the ground and rooftops, hanging in trees; people sat down where they were; raindrops froze in the air; then the great magnet sent a wave rippling out across the universe to inform other planets and galaxies to observe a moment of silence, before it ceased to give orders.

The consummate couple lay there, immobile in accordance. Until they attempted to inhale, but their mouths were aligned and the opposing forces of their breath canceled the other’s. They tried to breathe again, but their rhythm was identical. They attempted to change tempo, but that was of no use either; their thoughts were synchronized. There was nothing for them to do but lie there and slowly asphyxiate. Their eyelids became heavy and fluttered, fighting for one last look into the other’s consciousness. Finally they became unconditionally still.

The cosmos remained calm for a single second to honor their passing, and then with little fanfare the conductor stood on his podium and tapped his baton before waving his arms wildly in familiar rhythms, and the core recommenced its spinning with full accompaniment, tearing up the pages of their history. The ringmaster erected the tent once more, and the animals, now placated, went back to their chains and relinquished the whip. Clowns amused the audience, the rain fell and new viruses dominated the planet. Planes, birds and cosmonauts retook the skies, earthquakes ceased and the rubble fell upward into accustomed forms, assassins carefully packed away their rifles, and doors were broken down, eradicating the last bastions of privacy. Angels folded and tore up losing tickets. The Devil had others to stoke his fire once again, so he went back to his armchair. And blood — blood flowed through the streets in a torrent with nothing to stop it until it finally reached the city limits, where soil still existed, where it could soak deep into hallowed ground.

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Johnny

outline musicians - breath people on nipples
asphyxiate tempo - sitting eliminate great sides

work your spinning fanfare
edging the planes of corners

from enough - their rhythms went complementary eradicating
the full decline - limbs window against streets

outside ripped and amused
laughing but not sitting

humanity doors - opened on pharmaceuticals guard
psychic give - so maintained and replaced

presence in a running universe
orchestra arms, detailed smoking
during accented moments

assassins soundscape - the sitting existed entitled, was whips and floor
retook - accompaniment of blood

everything in mouths
the eliminate clothes
cosmonauts removed Johnny

  On 2/10/2021 at 5:47 AM, ambermonke said:

Has anyone here ever visited Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobyllllantysiliogogogoch?

I would like to when I go to Wales in August, but it may not work out. Naomi Watts lived there…

Do you guys remember that british kids' show that used to air on the disney channel, called Shart Attack? I used to watch it all the time. I remember how every episode the host would say "it's time for a really big shart attack", and then usually they would go out to some public location (like a cafe, an airport, a mall food court etc) and secretly spike a random uknowing person's drink or food with laxatives & film them reacting to it. yeah so i was wondering wht happened, why the show just stopped airing one day. turns out that something had gone horribly wrong once while filming an episode. the host had made a special shart whistle, it worked too well. you guys, i recomend not looking up the footage, its pretty fucked up. a man sharts all of his internal organs & turns inside out. i could see why the disney channel only aired this episode a couple of times

  On 7/8/2021 at 1:00 AM, Cryptowen said:

Do you guys remember that british kids' show that used to air on the disney channel, called Shart Attack? I used to watch it all the time. I remember how every episode the host would say "it's time for a really big shart attack", and then usually they would go out to some public location (like a cafe, an airport, a mall food court etc) and secretly spike a random uknowing person's drink or food with laxatives & film them reacting to it. yeah so i was wondering wht happened, why the show just stopped airing one day. turns out that something had gone horribly wrong once while filming an episode. the host had made a special shart whistle, it worked too well. you guys, i recomend not looking up the footage, its pretty fucked up. a man sharts all of his internal organs & turns inside out. i could see why the disney channel only aired this episode a couple of times

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art attack tho