Write something random

  On 7/8/2021 at 1:00 AM, Cryptowen said:

Do you guys remember that british kids' show that used to air on the disney channel, called Shart Attack? I used to watch it all the time. I remember how every episode the host would say "it's time for a really big shart attack", and then usually they would go out to some public location (like a cafe, an airport, a mall food court etc) and secretly spike a random uknowing person's drink or food with laxatives & film them reacting to it. yeah so i was wondering wht happened, why the show just stopped airing one day. turns out that something had gone horribly wrong once while filming an episode. the host had made a special shart whistle, it worked too well. you guys, i recomend not looking up the footage, its pretty fucked up. a man sharts all of his internal organs & turns inside out. i could see why the disney channel only aired this episode a couple of times

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haha

  On 7/7/2021 at 8:46 PM, J3FF3R00 said:

I would like to when I go to Wales in August, but it may not work out. Naomi Watts lived there…

 

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one of the drawbacks of this town being such a worldwide icon is that if you put the letters "llan" into google, this 58-letter cacophony is the immediate first suggestion, despite the fact that about half of all the locations in wales start with llan. it's like getting a printout of the lyrics to Scat Man John at every turn of an assisted drive.

Gently drop your steaming nutsack into the cool shallows of the River Loddon

Gently dip your steaming dopper into the village duck pond

QUIT YOU WHINING TINKERBELL!!!
AND SHUT YOUR GODDAMN PUSSY SQUEALING SUGARPLUM FAIRY FACE!!!
THE COLOSSAL SQUIDS FROM THE DARK OCEANIC FATHOMS HAVE LEARNED TO LIVE ON LAND!!! 
THEIR PREY DECIMATED BY INDUSTRIAL TRAWLERS!!!
THEIR ONLY SURVIVAL CHOICE IS NOW US!!!

Eyes glowing through the shallow waters on the beach like giant circular lanterns. Chattering hooks by the thousand on their gloopy pulsing suckers. The snapping and snatching parrot beak hidden behind the writhing twisting ball of tentacles. Now they are upon the first of the fisherman’s huts. Belly floppin’ deep in squid grease. They move fast. The oil lamped lights of the shore dwellings quickly extinguished the beach district is gone and now resembles their previous home, the inky blackness of the oceanic abyss. 

PACK YOUR KNAPSACK PIPSQUEAK!!
AND DON’T FORGET THE BISCUITS!!
THE GARDEN FORK AND SPADE ARE OUR ONLY WEAPONS!!
BEER DRINKING BUCKTOOTHED CREEP!!!

The phone rings. The nuclear submarines leave port.

Go on mate. You can do it.

Thats right. Align the annular nail with my erect cock and japs eye. Are you ready? Good. Prepare the hammer blow….

Go in smash it in!!!!!

 ?  
 

Deez Knutsford Services

five peas in a pod five pods on a stem five stems on a plant five plants in a bed five beds on a lawn five lawns on a street five streets in a village five villages in a town five towns in a city five cities in a country five countries in a continent five continents in a world

*Brian Eno taking his jean-shorts out of the oven voice* Here come the warm jorts...

Fucking fat Gut bald alcoholic 

sitting on a fucking boat

bloke called Geoff

Get the bottle of vodka down ya neck, you drive a dust cart. Racist cunt. Big poacher, hates women, hates his kids. Fucking angry with Mr Willson. Here it goes!!’n

Bulging

neck bulging gut

fucking

big stash of Rocky 

loook at ya! I’ll smash ya fucking teeth

down ya puny neck 

I HATE PEOPLE WHO TAKE DRUGS!!

My wife has died and although all I ever did was rain misery on her life now

i can’t cope and There’s a gun in my shed, and im

gonna blow my brains out!!!!

 BOOOOOOM! Now Your dead

We were having a chat today about if you were shagging some bird, giving her a good time and then some other bloke appeared with a

massive hard on

and wanted to join in

just all Casually stroking his stonking stork.

Would you carry on?

The general consensus of wildebeest wollfmen i Drink with is We would get our pants on and leave. Seeing another mans cock rod?  No thanks.

Zoosmatical Briandancingly Fabulous

No, you can't make me write something random.

We are the Doomer Collective

Humanity will fail, Monke shall prevail

 

It seems we have a new character to add  to our portfolio

1) Fish Beast Man
2) The Saturnian Frilled Lizard
3) The Great Gwarnukoo 
4) Ozzbert Great Lord of the Giant Wood Goblins
5) The Sasquatchian ET from Outer Space
6) The Friendly Ale Bear Of The Green & Golden Lowlands

AND NOW!!!

THE UNHOLY TREE BADGER!!!

I think you need to seek and find the Unholy Tree Badger. He will anoint Woodland Majick upon your ballsack which will protect you from such Earthly trivialities. 
I hear he is holed up by the Beech Tree Creek on the southern bank of the medieval moat.

Deep within the wooded womb of Burnham Beeches

Just remembered back when I worked at a makers hub for electronic arts before they were a thing, I held a two day introduction course in basic Photoshop stuff, I think it was about version 4, or maybe 5 just came out. Anyway, there were some pretty notable (in my town) artists there, but they were only accustomed to working in traditional media, and their minds just couldn't process that if they scanned their original paintings/drawings and tried to erase elements in the foreground of their original artwork with the eraser tool, it only left white voids "the rest of my painting/drawing is missing. Where is it?!". I guess these days they wouldn't have the same problem. Posting here so I remember it. Hadn't thought about it in about 20 years. I'm so fucking old. At least they're even older.

Sex.

ßê̌ᶍ

Glubbins, ladiles and guntulmon: munga buns, suckly frump factories in teh industrial estate say "what what?". Top 8 slack bags in the panty liner, roll me joint and shove it up me bum. Thank you... 

[after 10 hours, the sun setted]

"Ey up me duck! How's your cat you old bastard? Still eating all your cat's food? He's a fat mouse!!"

OIOI

cum in a sandwich

Quilt. In the bin. QUILT... IN THE bin. Quilt IN THE BIN, quilt in the bin quiltinthebinquiltinthebinQUILTIN THE BIN IN THE BIN THE BIN THE BIN QUILTINTHEBINBINBINBINBINBINBINBINBINBIN

  On 3/9/2012 at 11:32 PM, logakght said:

.

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Wow. Now that was an interesting read. Thought I should just check in on my old self before this place is vaporised. I'm gonna print the whole thread out and lock it away somewhere safe. Hah! Mad times.
 

Peace watmm brothers

I love Vanilla Coke

Booze factory having a large piece of the pie on Wednesday. Wednesday chunk. WEDNESDOR CHUNKOR, slapping happen to be in the shop at the time, "what", what? What "what"? What do you mean "what"? I say what and I don't mean no I think it was about half past 2 and McDonalds with the

TABLE SELECTOR

Enter selecta, eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh

Milk in the oven, milking the oven, milking the mothers do 'ave em

Gay paste, nom nom