Things people write on Facebook

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Two hours after going to sleep, the bright TN sky and flapping wind around the tent has woken me up. Everyone around me is drinking already or still up drinking from the night before. I just want to be sleeping. HOW.

you're at a music festival, like jesus christ get over yourself.

lots of pseudoscience garbage courtesy of my cousin

fucking lol

that needs to be made into a .gif where the brain splits and the heart goes in and out, sexily

what if my dream was the extermination of all mankind?

the big thing seems to be attaching a famous face to a quote they never said

PLAYA

I just have to get this out of my system. My aunt has posted a status to get people to sign a petition about chemtrails. When I saw it I didn't bother whatsoever, but the worst part was still to come. A cousin replied with "Do you really believe in that stuff...?" and then came the pain, the atrocity:

"i saw it happen with my own eyes...it was beautiful weather one day and yes, at least 6 planes that were making patterns in the sky and because of their trails the sky turned grey and gone was the pretty weather...global warming anyone? seeing this for a few years and finding it strange to say the least...."

Not only that, a friend of hers replied with this very fucking scientific observation:

"You do see it quite often indeed; just beautiful weather, then some planes with white stripes come that just won't go away and just expand. Then the all-familiar white haze comes in that blocks the sun. We already come short on sun this year.... it even froze LAST MONTH... it just isn't right!! That is government manipulation! And if you search for chemtrails on internet you don't even have to think or believe; it's obvious."

(both translated from poor written Dutch to English, trying to capture the stupid in the punctuation and capital letters)

I don't know about you guys, but how hard is it to resist making a really scientific remark to family members to get them off that conspiracycloud? What's your way dealing with this? I could barely hold myself in but managed to vent my anger through this post on watmm (thanks watmm!). My method is to block people whenever something stupid like this pops up, and my aunt is now blocked as well.

Holy shit, the sun froze last month?

i like facebook, it's handy. sure it's a mainstream platform so there's mainstream mediocrity, that's to be expected

only thing i can't stand are images with these extremely cheesy quotes. i know people who post all this zen crap but are pretty obnoxious bastards in real life, especially after a few beers

On the profile of an old acquaintance who I suspect wears a fedora nowadays. I can almost guarantee this is the closest he's come to licking anyone, consensual or otherwise.

Oh, he also posted this:

<==== watchu say'n 'bout fedoras???

poor kid, he only wants to be loved.

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Really wants an omelet but is way too lazy to cook it. Ugh. Stuck between a rock and a hard place.

#mundanethingspeoplesayonfacebook

ugh, now i remember why i only talk to deer.

^lol

most of my facebook-contacts don't write cringeworthy shit, actually. It's mostly interesting stuff, a little too much about gaming from two girls who seem to be getting into some online multiplayer clan or whatever that is, or people posting photos of their latest artwork ... which is all fine. Just occasionally, I get the horrible ones, and when I do, I adore them for giving me a big ol' rage-smile!

  On 6/19/2013 at 2:03 PM, Herr Jan said:

I just have to get this out of my system. My aunt has posted a status to get people to sign a petition about chemtrails. When I saw it I didn't bother whatsoever, but the worst part was still to come. A cousin replied with "Do you really believe in that stuff...?" and then came the pain, the atrocity:

 

"i saw it happen with my own eyes...it was beautiful weather one day and yes, at least 6 planes that were making patterns in the sky and because of their trails the sky turned grey and gone was the pretty weather...global warming anyone? seeing this for a few years and finding it strange to say the least...."

 

Not only that, a friend of hers replied with this very fucking scientific observation:

 

"You do see it quite often indeed; just beautiful weather, then some planes with white stripes come that just won't go away and just expand. Then the all-familiar white haze comes in that blocks the sun. We already come short on sun this year.... it even froze LAST MONTH... it just isn't right!! That is government manipulation! And if you search for chemtrails on internet you don't even have to think or believe; it's obvious."

 

(both translated from poor written Dutch to English, trying to capture the stupid in the punctuation and capital letters)

 

I don't know about you guys, but how hard is it to resist making a really scientific remark to family members to get them off that conspiracycloud? What's your way dealing with this? I could barely hold myself in but managed to vent my anger through this post on watmm (thanks watmm!). My method is to block people whenever something stupid like this pops up, and my aunt is now blocked as well.

You should point them towards Morgellons - See how it turns out!

( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morgellons )

facebook has 100% put me off tattoos - whatever you get, someone will find it stupid. I honestly cannot believe what some people get written on themselves...

okay that's a lie/exaggeration... still, it has enlightened me to flim flam pointless shieiitititiitiiasiiifa

I well endeavor to take spelling lessons.

  On 6/14/2013 at 8:43 PM, essines said:

Lol. This probably takes the cake for the 'absolutely no effort has gone into sourcing my new-agey feel-good quotes' award. If in doubt... MAYAN INDIANS

i still cannot wrap my head around the term "mayan indian". the term offends me.

my story isn't really facebook in the way of what was written but i was hanging out with my good friend yesterday that i don't see often and we were at his parents house and at one point his mom, dad, wife and him were all on facebook via different medias at the same time. it was absurd, i guess cause my parents can't be arsed with facebook, funny