Films Recently Watched

In Captain Phillips, Tom Hanks stars as a sex addicted philanthropist who finds himself in a sticky situation while gambling in Vegas against Justin Timberlake for the prize of a night in bed with Cameron Diaz, here played by Lady Sovereign.

Events take a turn for the worse when Tom Hanks is drugged with horse tranquillisers and wakes up on a boat of which he is blackmailed into pretending to captain.

This bad trip takes a turn for the worse two hours later when his kidnappers realise the beginning of the story was a series of trailers for other movies and let Tom Hanks know what’s really happening and that his family don’t exist.

Next, events take another turn for the worse when a sudden inexplicable twist explains that the his kidnappers don’t exist either and the screen is black and covered in scrolling names, presumably of audience members who have died of boredom during the screening.

After that the story really took a turn for the worse by recapping the entire plot in real time but with other people sitting around you.

Captain Phillips: 5/10

Trailers: 10/10

started off "okay" but completely fell apart towards the middle and by the end you can't wait for it to end (in fact, there is a shot of kanye @ a q-tip concert getting waaaayyyy too hype for his own good. it's about that time you know things are over)

  On 10/24/2013 at 2:07 AM, fenton said:

 

In Captain Phillips, Tom Hanks stars as a sex addicted philanthropist who finds himself in a sticky situation while gambling in Vegas against Justin Timberlake for the prize of a night in bed with Cameron Diaz, here played by Lady Sovereign.

Events take a turn for the worse when Tom Hanks is drugged with horse tranquillisers and wakes up on a boat of which he is blackmailed into pretending to captain.

This bad trip takes a turn for the worse two hours later when his kidnappers realise the beginning of the story was a series of trailers for other movies and let Tom Hanks know what’s really happening and that his family don’t exist.

Next, events take another turn for the worse when a sudden inexplicable twist explains that the his kidnappers don’t exist either and the screen is black and covered in scrolling names, presumably of audience members who have died of boredom during the screening.

After that the story really took a turn for the worse by recapping the entire plot in real time but with other people sitting around you.

 

 

 

Captain Phillips: 5/10

Trailers: 10/10

BTW which movie with lady sovereign?

Fenton's review 9.87/10

Craptain Philips : some ugly yella toothed somalian peasants babble a strange language and kidnap the kid from BIG (now fully grown at last) only to be hacked down by the supreme power of god (aka some flag waving USA meatheads ) only problem is the ugly peasants are the only semi likeable human seeming people in the whole film, and the cameraman seems to have suffered a stroke .

AMERKUH FUCK YEAH /10

or this

  On 10/24/2013 at 2:07 AM, fenton said:

 

In Captain Phillips, Tom Hanks stars as a sex addicted philanthropist who finds himself in a sticky situation while gambling in Vegas against Justin Timberlake for the prize of a night in bed with Cameron Diaz, here played by Lady Sovereign.

Events take a turn for the worse when Tom Hanks is drugged with horse tranquillisers and wakes up on a boat of which he is blackmailed into pretending to captain.

This bad trip takes a turn for the worse two hours later when his kidnappers realise the beginning of the story was a series of trailers for other movies and let Tom Hanks know what’s really happening and that his family don’t exist.

Next, events take another turn for the worse when a sudden inexplicable twist explains that the his kidnappers don’t exist either and the screen is black and covered in scrolling names, presumably of audience members who have died of boredom during the screening.

After that the story really took a turn for the worse by recapping the entire plot in real time but with other people sitting around you.

Captain Phillips: 5/10

Trailers: 10/10

 

bravo

  On 10/24/2013 at 6:44 PM, Shit Attack said:

Craptain Philips : only problem is the ugly peasants are the only semi likeable human seeming people in the whole film

I did wonder how much that hurt the enjoyment of the movie. usually the enemy are pure evil and we can enjoy them being destroyed by america. but to make them sympathetic characters (whilst being more realistic and adding depth) kinda takes the fun out of watching them get smashed. I want to enjoy films with more depth of character but I also want to enjoy watching bad people get their due.

it's odd how captain phillips got critical praise but no-one (except the 10/10 review above somewhere) seems to have enjoyed it

Yeah, I don't think I will be seeing it in the theater. Wrong month for a serious rescue hero patriotic propaganda fest.

Instead I watched Mark of the Devil - 6.5/10 - Decent witch hunter film, lots of torture, not enough Udo Kier being Udo-like, way too young and handsome in this film. And I watned him to get in on the torturing, but no. He is the hero. Nice ending.

Raw Meat aka Death Line - 6/10 - preChuds film about London Chuds with Donald Plaeasance cackling the whole time and acting very goofy. Great Catacomb grave montages. Pretty boring. MIND THE DOORS! HIT HIM ON HIS SOFT SPOT!

A Serbian Film - 7.5/10 - I really like this film, music/atmosphere is perfect, and script is ripe with the worst scenes filmed in a larger budget movie ever. Last time I will be watching this. So horribly disgusting. Read spoilers about this one before you see it. You might not want to.

yay HALLOWEEN!

  On 10/24/2013 at 7:21 PM, Jimmy McMessageboard said:

 

  On 10/24/2013 at 6:44 PM, Shit Attack said:

Craptain Philips : only problem is the ugly peasants are the only semi likeable human seeming people in the whole film

 

I did wonder how much that hurt the enjoyment of the movie. usually the enemy are pure evil and we can enjoy them being destroyed by america. but to make them sympathetic characters (whilst being more realistic and adding depth) kinda takes the fun out of watching them get smashed. I want to enjoy films with more depth of character but I also want to enjoy watching bad people get their due.

 

it's odd how captain phillips got critical praise but no-one (except the 10/10 review above somewhere) seems to have enjoyed it

 

i thought the ultra patriotic might of the military crushing some poor somalian dudes in a crappy lifeboat type shit hurt the movie more, even tho the pirates are dicks i prefered that they tried to be a bit balanced and not just some evil maniacs out to destroy the USA. It would have been different if tom hanks himself had somehow outwitted or overpowered them but when its like navy seals n shit nahhhhh as soon as those guys turned up is when i started to really dislike the film (know its based on a supposedly true story but still) other than that didnt actually think it was all that bad other than the shaky cam bullshit + being a bit drawn out..

you might enjoy greenzone

Grey Gardens 5/10

Vernon, Florida 7/10

The Bothersome Man 7/10

Oblivion 6/10

It had such a good premise...AAAAGGGGHHHH!!!! Lindehof where are u!!

oooow the counselor is taking a critical beating

if you've seen the trailer that's pretty understandable.

In other new I met one of the Somalians from Captain Phillips in the street tonight and in civvy clothes and white teeth he was still the most likeable person in viewshot.

Fucking random.

the pianist

i think i've seen this three times now. it's very close to perfect. avoids the sentimentalism of schindler's list, goes places movies set in this time period never do. the last forty minutes play out almost like i am legend. everything is understated, the passage of time and szpilman's witness to horrors as an observer (mostly) rather than participant all lend to the film's effectiveness. i love how after his family gets shipped off the film almost becomes a surreal parody of an espionage film. i'm not totally sure if this is "kafkaesque" but i feel like this is as close as a story can get. 10/10, up there with the best films of the last decade.

wow. I hated the Pianist.

may give it another shot if I can see past my general distaste for Adrien "Kiss Rapist" Brody

it's too bad no one has seen Europa Europa. That's my favorite surreal WW2-Jew film, and one of my favorite films period.

i'll make sure to never check that out.

  On 10/25/2013 at 6:10 AM, zaphod said:

the pianist

 

i think i've seen this three times now. it's very close to perfect. avoids the sentimentalism of schindler's list, goes places movies set in this time period never do. the last forty minutes play out almost like i am legend. everything is understated, the passage of time and szpilman's witness to horrors as an observer (mostly) rather than participant all lend to the film's effectiveness. i love how after his family gets shipped off the film almost becomes a surreal parody of an espionage film. i'm not totally sure if this is "kafkaesque" but i feel like this is as close as a story can get. 10/10, up there with the best films of the last decade.

I thought pretty highly of The Pianist when I saw it. Haven't seen it since that first time. Although you know he survives the ordeal, I still thought he was going to get shot at the end. Polanski takes a lot of heat for his "past transgressions" in the US, but he can sure bang out a quality film every now & then.

ponyo-me and my 5 year old niece loved it! 9/10

exorcist 3-some proper spooky moments in this,brad dourif +george.c.scott are great,a bit tv-movie-ish at times tho 8/10

Captain Phillips 5/10

this film promised a lot more than it delivered, mainly due to the emotional impact being weakened by complete lack of character development.

  On 10/25/2013 at 7:45 AM, zaphod said:

i'll make sure to never check that out.

flol

Alpha Papa: the alan partridge movie.

film just recently came out in australia with a limited release. saw it in a small cinema which had about 4 or 5 rows of seats. small cinema packed with alan partridge enthusiasts, all screaming and laughing.

no shit. i was laughing solidly from the start straight through to the end. an amazingly, incredibly funny film. and more or less the perfect way they could have made an alan partridge 'movie'. it was brilliant and hilarious and ridiculous.

10/10 (as an alan partridge movie)

It's really good innit! Surprised.

  On 10/26/2013 at 12:39 PM, pigster said:

Alpha Papa: the alan partridge movie.

 

film just recently came out in australia with a limited release. saw it in a small cinema which had about 4 or 5 rows of seats. small cinema packed with alan partridge enthusiasts, all screaming and laughing.

 

no shit. i was laughing solidly from the start straight through to the end. an amazingly, incredibly funny film. and more or less the perfect way they could have made an alan partridge 'movie'. it was brilliant and hilarious and ridiculous.

 

10/10 (as an alan partridge movie)

awesome

they're sex people, Lynn...

  On 10/26/2013 at 10:50 AM, lumpenprol said:

 

  On 10/25/2013 at 7:45 AM, zaphod said:

i'll make sure to never check that out.

flol

 

lol but no that sounds interesting i'll check it out. although i have a feeling you're being a little contrarian picking the ultra obscure "i saw this in a fever dream when i was ten" german film.

12 years a slave

i dunno, was i supposed to like this? we're supposed to get really emotional about slavery movies right? i just kept wondering when it would end. i wanted a beer. cumberbatch weaseled his way into this one as well. i'm positive that guy is an alien.