Films Recently Watched

a satisfactory 30 min episode stretched to almost 2hrs of a very unrealistic "terror" story that takes it time to showcase carano's excellent home keeping abilities

imagine if indiana jones and the crystal skulls was done as an anime and had a more jehovah's witness angle to it? the character design for the main guy looks more like captain n and nothing like indiana jones whilst the story shows an elementary understanding of both the old testament which may explain why this never became a hit

I just re-watched The Meaning of Life again and I read a wiki on it after. That last scene with the hot dancing girls in heaven with the fake breasts... They were supposed to be bare breasted but one of them was self-conscious that her breasts were too small and that's why faek. Ruined for everybody me.

laughed our way thru this one last night, George Clooney & the guy from Desperate Housewives in mullets, Michelle Pfeiffer's sister, and Gene Simmons

5+ hours of DVD special features to a bunch of 80s sci-fi films with lots of talking heads. think youtube videos about stranger things but with older people.

great cautionary tale of a young lady who loses her moral compass after getting involved with the wrong kind of people. before you know it, she's dropping out of college in favor of easy money dancing, doing drugs (once), seducing her boyfriend in public (which he "enjoyed but what gives?") amongst other immoral acts of debauchery

p.s. this is a lifetime film so it's more PC than a church park picnic luncheon on a sunday during lent

everyone's heard of ilsa, the nortorious she wolf of the ss, but probably not as familiar with the kraut version, helga (actually played by an italian).

and maybe that's for the better, because this film is rather ambiguous as to exactly what helga is. it says she's the she wolf of silberg - which according to this film is a castle. she also seems to be conflicted with whatever it is she's supposed to be doing there (one minute she's torturing birds, then she's crying and having relationships with various guards). she also doesn't seem familiar with any military codes despite having a small army at her disposal. 

the entire thing is a mess and probably nothing more than an excuse for the producers to schmooze it on with the main dame

Clifford (1994) - Martin Short playing a 10 year-old devil child with no FX or makeup, just genius comedic timing and his ability to contort his face, with classic foil Charles Grodin

Thor: Love & Thunder - JFC, I'm done paying to see MCU movies in theater, absolute garbage. Someone take way the fucking Guns N' Roses CD away from Waititi already.

tis looks mean

must watch!

COVID-79

The Black Phone - it was fine. 

another one of those careless films that's just a catalogue of obscenity - this time it's mainly animals being killed in patagonia and africa with the age old excuse that they're "showing you strange hunting rites of savage humans in developing parts of the world"

@Nebraska you do know there are movies out there that aren’t painful to watch, right? You’ve been on quite the tear lately. 

yeah but he specialises in those. it's like asking a masochist why he doesn't stop hammering his balls.

I used to find it annoying, now I think let my man do his thing. vive la france and that.

With the tripe that's being produced these days, maybe better off with the 1970/80s (         )sploitation flicks 

  On 7/17/2022 at 5:52 AM, J3FF3R00 said:

@Nebraska you do know there are movies out there that aren’t painful to watch, right?

  On 7/17/2022 at 9:10 AM, iococoi said:

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Francis Ford Coppola's Jack

  On 7/17/2022 at 9:10 AM, iococoi said:

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  On 7/17/2022 at 5:52 AM, J3FF3R00 said:

@Nebraska you do know there are movies out there that aren’t painful to watch, right? You’ve been on quite the tear lately. 

most of them are films i've always wanted to watch, or had plans of watching at some point and never got to them. 

also, every now and then, i'll come across a film that betrays my expectations and surprises me.

this film was actually hilarious, especially pierre getting a raw deal @ the family cookout 

  On 7/17/2022 at 5:07 PM, Nebraska said:

most of them are films i've always wanted to watch, or had plans of watching at some point and never got to them.

My friends and I have made a Google Doc spreadsheet full of movies that we've never seen but always saw on the shelves at the video rental place when we were kids or movies that everyone has forgotten (such as the Ben Hur remake from 2010) We use Picker Wheel to decide which movie to watch. It's always an amazing experience.

I can't wait for the wheel to land on Cool World.

  On 7/17/2022 at 5:07 PM, Nebraska said:

most of them are films i've always wanted to watch, or had plans of watching at some point and never got to them. 

also, every now and then, i'll come across a film that betrays my expectations and surprises me.

this film was actually hilarious, especially pierre getting a raw deal @ the family cookout 

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have u ever seen Fastlane? Bill was great on that show, pure 2000s McCheese

@Squee if you've got ben hur on your list, i'd also recommend the bible mini series. both were made by the burnett's as part of their crusade to bring back good christian cinema to the mainstream.

@Rubin Farr haven't heard of that one. will check it out. thanks

  On 7/17/2022 at 11:39 PM, Nebraska said:

@Squee if you've got ben hur on your list, i'd also recommend the bible mini series. both were made by the burnett's as part of their crusade to bring back good christian cinema to the mainstream  

Oh shit… if I didn’t know any better I would have thought that was. Pureflix movie. 
 

The Ben Hur remake is a bit of a one off as most of the movies on the list are from the 80s, 90s, and early 2000s.  It was just a movie I mentioned and nobody believed me when I said it existed - so naturally, I added it to the list. 

A mumblecore adjacent film, about Andrew, a recent college leaver, that has feelings and starting his journey in life. He has a meaningful life experience with soon to be married mother (Dakota Johnson), and her autistic daughter (Vanessa Burghardt) from an earlier relationship. One of the worst films I've seen in a while. Vapid manipulative drivel. 

The good: Vanessa Burghardt as Lola, her first film.

The bad: The script, the lead character...

Been watching some films

She will (2022) not scary, but decent indie witch drama horror thing, kind of underwhelming in the end. Didn't really care much for the plot. 

Black Phone (2022) it was alright, too stranger thingsy imo. Ethan Hawke was good. I liked it.

Involuntary (2008) this is like dogma 95 Roy Andersson innit. Subtle punches to the balls. Good. Very Scandinavian.

Beavis and butthead do the universe (2022) delivered the minimum required amount of TP for my bunghole.

Tim & Eric's Billion Dollar Movie (2012) had to do this one in a few sittings. Borderline unwatchable. I guess don't make movies out of fun awkward skit stuff.

Mad God (2022) Grim stop motion thing. 80s heavy metal cover artwork the movie. I pretty much loved it. Way more than I think I should.

The King's Man (2021) dogshite

Everything everywhere all at once (2022) It's like someone took a decent Michel Gondry movie, misunderstood some base level shit and rebooted it as a Marvel Avengers movie. Rather liked it, but it's a bit too much.

The deep house (2021) Found footage horror about a couple that go diving and find a creepy submerged house. Quite tense in places, but it's hard to care when one of your main characters is such an intolerable douchebag. Only watch if you're a huge fan of the underwater sequence in Dario Argento's Inferno (1980) then this film is for you. Do spooky murky things submerged in dark water sound appealing? This movie is 100% aesthetics and 0% brain. Ending is a big nothingburger 

The Night House (2021) this was quite scary and clever, but then you get to the end and it turns out it wasn't all that clever after all. Still, one of the more interesting horror things I've seen in a while, even if it cheaps out.

One cut of the dead (2017) at first I was like what is this shit, but then I was like lol.

The Medium (2021) Thai horror movie that is really rather nice, but turns into some chaotic over the top other thing towards the end. Really loved the woman playing the medium. It was alright I guess, has some short comings and some cool shit 

The Qatsi trilogy (1982-2002) Starts out with a bang and ends with a wet fart