Relationship Advice...

  On 3/19/2021 at 12:45 AM, Shimon_Shimon said:

Either way, it's a testament to the quality of a friendship if you can do this, but needs authenticity.

Sure, not like that worked with all my former relationships, these things can't be forced. And if it turns out staying the fuck away from each other is the best for everyone that's perfectly alright, too (still wouldn't want to remain on bad terms, karma n shit...).

  On 3/19/2021 at 12:30 AM, dingformung said:

Or an incestuous family? Are you guys related?

Like, aren't we all bros n siss in a way liek in our hearts n minds n shit, sprawling from a common cosmic womb?

  On 3/17/2021 at 8:42 PM, Zephyr_Nova said:

Was just sent the best tinder opening line:

"Hey, u into anything above 160?"

She's the one.

She asked to see my soundcloud.  The courting has begun.

  On 3/19/2021 at 1:23 AM, Zephyr_Nova said:

She asked to see my soundcloud.  The courting has begun.

time for this one again:

  On 3/17/2021 at 9:18 PM, dingformung said:

The women was referring to centimetres but you intentionally misunderstood it as "beats per minute", which is funny because we are on a music forum, one that allows music above 160bpm at that. This was the joke.

A man walks into a beer hall.
He is an alcoholic whose drinking problem is destroying his family.

  On 3/19/2021 at 12:45 AM, Shimon_Shimon said:

All the best with this. It's good that you can recognise the potential for toxicity. Coming out of a relationship is akin to withdrawals from addiction, making sure you have a people to listen  and talk to, as well as giving you a kick up the arse if needed, is important (IMO). 

Thanks, I'm surrounded with good people that I can trust with this. I'll be fine!

  On 3/19/2021 at 3:36 AM, chenGOD said:

A man walks into a beer hall.
He is an alcoholic whose drinking problem is destroying his family.

LOOOOL

This was a so called "anti joke". It is supposed to not be funny and refers to the stereotype about German people having a poor sense of humour. A result of the post-war era.

  On 3/19/2021 at 11:17 AM, dingformung said:

This was a so called "anti joke". It is supposed to not be funny and refers to the stereotype about German people having a poor sense of humour. A result of the post-war era.

That's interesting, because in the 19th century the stereotype was that Germans have a very good sense of humor.  I suppose things have changed...

  On 3/19/2021 at 11:17 AM, dingformung said:

This was a so called "anti joke". It is supposed to not be funny and refers to the stereotype about German people having a poor sense of humour. A result of the post-war era.

It's also written by some English person, but thought it fit in well with the context of your post.

I'm starting to doubt wether we can remain friends. It's a really shitty and difficult situation

  On 3/20/2021 at 2:43 PM, thumbass said:

I'm starting to doubt wether we can remain friends. It's a really shitty and difficult situation

You obvs still have feelings for her, don't try to chow em down for the sake of friendship while things are hot, it most won't work. Give it time and things will evolve naturally later (or not, but it won't matter as much to you then). Don't hesitate to take a break from each other if neccessary, even if it hurts... Sorry to read it.

  On 3/20/2021 at 3:30 PM, jaderpansen said:

You obvs still have feelings for her, don't try to chow em down for the sake of friendship while things are hot, it most won't work. Give it time and things will evolve naturally later (or not, but it won't matter as much to you then). Don't hesitate to take a break from each other if neccessary, even if it hurts... Sorry to read it.

@dingformung: Quit burgering me you Spast! D;

edit: better...

  On 3/20/2021 at 3:30 PM, jaderpansen said:

You obvs still have feelings for her, don't try to chow em down for the sake of friendship while things are hot, it most won't work. Give it time and things will evolve naturally later (or not, but it won't matter as much to you then). Don't hesitate to take a break from each other if neccessary, even if it hurts... Sorry to read it.

To be honest, you are right. I haven't gotten over her yet. Im afraid of becoming bitter and/ or jealous if i keep the friends thing up and I see her going out with others and I don't want that. Maybe a break is the best. At least I'll be able to get my mind straight that way. I appreciate the advice you  give. Also, sorry if I'm ruining the meme potential this page had lol.

  On 3/20/2021 at 5:27 PM, thumbass said:

To be honest, you are right. I haven't gotten over her yet. Im afraid of becoming bitter and/ or jealous if i keep the friends thing up and I see her going out with others and I don't want that. Maybe a break is the best. At least I'll be able to get my mind straight that way. I appreciate the advice you  give. Also, sorry if I'm ruining the meme potential this page had lol.

Having gone through a similar situation very recently, I recommend this emphatically.  You need to remember about all the other things in life that aren't related to this one person, and then you might be in a better position to move on from your old feelings.  I wish I could tell you an easy way to go through it, but you just have to learn to be grateful for the past without being greedy;  be thankful for what you had and what you got from it, and don't try to take any more.

  On 3/20/2021 at 5:56 PM, drillkicker said:

Having gone through a similar situation very recently, I recommend this emphatically.  You need to remember about all the other things in life that aren't related to this one person, and then you might be in a better position to move on from your old feelings.  I wish I could tell you an easy way to go through it, but you just have to learn to be grateful for the past without being greedy;  be thankful for what you had and what you got from it, and don't try to take any more.

Thanks for the kind words. The serious replies mean a lot. I'm going to try to he happy with what i had. I'm hanging out with my friends trying not to think about it right now

Every time I think I've gotten over it we meet again and it all comes back.  I'm right back where I was a month ago.  I know whatever we had/could have had wasn't that special, but how can I believe that right now ?

The worst sort of ex hangover i get is that for some time after i'll catch myself mentally coming up with snarky oneliners to drop in the event that they try to get back in touch. and i'll be like "owen, come on dude, you're better than this"

  On 3/20/2021 at 8:48 PM, thumbass said:

Thanks for the kind words. The serious replies mean a lot. I'm going to try to he happy with what i had. I'm hanging out with my friends trying not to think about it right now

Not stealing your thunder - but I'm going through a very similar situation right now.  Been with this person really on and off since 08.  It's gotten to the point beyond being friends - and it sucks and hurts badly everyday.  I have to figure out how to move on from my feelings, every single day.  My brain is telling me to hang with friends as much as possible.  I'm scared of how resentful I'm potentially becoming...

Seriously, hang in there man - we will get through it and be better on the other side!

  On 3/25/2021 at 1:42 PM, soma333 said:

Not stealing your thunder - but I'm going through a very similar situation right now.  Been with this person really on and off since 08.  It's gotten to the point beyond being friends - and it sucks and hurts badly everyday.  I have to figure out how to move on from my feelings, every single day.  My brain is telling me to hang with friends as much as possible.  I'm scared of how resentful I'm potentially becoming...

Seriously, hang in there man - we will get through it and be better on the other side!

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Just gonna have to keep fighting mate

I am starting to let go of it a bit more but it's still unsure wether we will he able stay friends or not

i'm confused. you guys are sad about girls and you're posting about it online instead of sitting in total darkness listening to vletrmx and refusing to cry? 

da fuk?

  On 3/25/2021 at 9:06 PM, Stickfigger said:

Don't try to be friends with your ex. There are many, many, many other people you can be friends with instead. Move on. Less contact is best. Build your life so there's no room for them. Wanting to remain friends is your subconscious wanting to keep the door open - shut it instead. Be civil about it. Make it amicable. 

 

Also being "friends" with your ex is a great way to sabotage future relationships 

 

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I don't really see it this way. Apart from everything she's a nice girl as friends. Ik don't feel love for her anymore so i don't mind staying in a light friendship. I do not intend to sabotage anything with it.

I do wish I could have continued being friends with the woman I was in that one very long term relationship with.  She was a very unique person, and we had an odd dynamic that I know I will not have with anyone else.  Of course, that's easy for me to say as the one who decided to end things.  I probably hurt her in ways I can't even fathom, which I deeply regret.  But ending it was definitely the right thing to do.  i think in circumstances where both people view it that way, a healthy friendship afterward is possible, but I suspect that's seldom the case.

Also, I think I'm about to enter another relationship... a bit apprehensive this time based entirely on how devastating that last short term relationship ended up being (held precariously in the hands of the apps...).  But then again, I got an entire album out of it that I'm pretty happy with.  Still might erase that experience from my life if I could.

A baby Zeph would surely destroy any healthy relationship.

Fuuuuuuck

@Zephyr_Nova Has she seen your place yet?