Post terrible idea for films

I'll go first

 

Flashweld - it's about a beautiful young dancer who packs in her dancing career to become a welder

Lord Of The Rings - it's a film about a man who has an obsession with bumholes, who builds up an empire of followers ready to present their 'ring'

  On 6/2/2014 at 1:08 PM, Mesh Gear Fox said:

I like this thread!

 

dread dad - dad becomes a rasta - with crazy results! robert de niro plays dad, adam sandler applauds throughout the whole movie

 

transformers: rise of the reaganauts - whilst serving time in cushy prisons for the rich, the most gnarly of Reagans bunch cook up a plan to sell their own, liberty-loving transformers to america disguised as toys made by slave labour. once it becomes apparent that the toys are robots that love america, they really take off and sell by the millions, and this is when the transformers get involved. however, before the toys are sold, a long process of deregulation is needed to ensure their safety in us markets. this is the primary focus of the movie and it is narrated by a helpful voice explaining the ins and outs of the legal system in america whilst subtly enforcing a free market agenda.

 

ghost in my shoes! - a kid kicks a grave and wakes up the next day with a spooky new pal! his mum doesn't believe him until she one day runs over the cat and the car stops working - because it turned into a cat! the shoe ghost then tries to save christmas but realises it is stuck in a shoe. 76 minutes into the film, the long fight scene with the glasses from they live! is inexplicably spliced in.

I fucking want tickets to every one of these

When x = pi

 

- a young powerful mutant living in Tokyo after completely losing his memory wakes up realizing that he has wings, knowing nothing else about him self. A message on his desk puzzles the most which says: Go to New York and solve the Torah number theory. Leave the drill at home.

  On 6/2/2014 at 1:06 PM, oscillik said:

Lord Of The Rings - it's a film about a man who has an obsession with bumholes, who builds up an empire of followers ready to present their 'ring'

Pretty sure that already exists...

The I Ching - story of a money obsessed narcissist from New York who suddenly has a heart attack, she awakes and finds that she is not alone. The film depicts several afterlife scenarios - reincarnation, heaven, hell, nothing, redemption, the buddhist void - the film is told through a first person perspective of the main character so you never see her gender until the very last shot of the film which is her laying in her penthouse flat downtown, about to die and we suddenly see her reflection in a window to reveal its a woman all along. Let's build the mind's eye stereotyping of the viewer who will invariably believe the lead to be a male.

Snow Daze.

Opening scene: nerdy guy masturbating on his bed. Reaches for lube but accidentally grabs Deep Heat instead. Burning cock, comedy close-up, mishap. lol. Roommate's in the bathroom, he's singing Smashmouth so loud that he can't hear his buddy banging on the door. All the taps are frozen, 'why did we come to this shitty ski resort anyway?' So the guy runs outside with a flaming hot cock and stabs it through the back of a snowman's head to cool-down. His dick replaces the snowman's carrot-nose which flies through the air and lands on the passenger seat of the hot girl's (also a posh skier) convertible.

 

100 minutes of American Pie in a ski resort.

 

I accept PayPal.

lol

Thatcheroo - a four hour long biopic chronicling the period of time when a young Margaret Thatcher genuinely believed she was in fact a kangaroo. The film begins with her inventing ice cream with air in it and follows her on her voyage of self discovery. The relationships with those around her are stretched to the limits, but in her darkest hour she finds love with a muscular zookeeper from America. It all culminates in a road trip across Australia with her love interest played by Dwayne Johnson, but ends in disaster when their car hits a kangaroo and explodes, killing Dwayne. She survives but falls into a coma and is flown back to England in a specially modified life supporting marsupial pouch. After receiving a brain transplant she later goes on to become PM.

Grumpy cat the movie. Slapstick comedy in the style of home alone. Every punchline is a shot of grumpy cat frowning. Soundtrack by lmfao

  On 6/2/2014 at 1:42 PM, Timothy Forward said:

Thatcheroo - a four hour long biopic chronicling the period of time when a young Margaret Thatcher genuinely believed she was in fact a kangaroo. The film begins with her inventing ice cream with air in it and follows her on her voyage of self discovery. The relationships with those around her are stretched to the limits, but in her darkest hour she finds love with a muscular zookeeper from America. It all culminates in a road trip across Australia with her love interest played by Dwayne Johnson, but ends in disaster when their car hits a kangaroo and explodes, killing Dwayne. She survives but falls into a coma and is flown back to England in a specially modified life supporting marsupial pouch. After receiving a brain transplant she later goes on to become PM.

the twist is, it's a paradox

  On 6/2/2014 at 1:46 PM, oscillik said:

 

  On 6/2/2014 at 1:42 PM, Timothy Forward said:

Thatcheroo - a four hour long biopic chronicling the period of time when a young Margaret Thatcher genuinely believed she was in fact a kangaroo. The film begins with her inventing ice cream with air in it and follows her on her voyage of self discovery. The relationships with those around her are stretched to the limits, but in her darkest hour she finds love with a muscular zookeeper from America. It all culminates in a road trip across Australia with her love interest played by Dwayne Johnson, but ends in disaster when their car hits a kangaroo and explodes, killing Dwayne. She survives but falls into a coma and is flown back to England in a specially modified life supporting marsupial pouch. After receiving a brain transplant she later goes on to become PM.

the twist is, it's a paradox

 

 

Small - like Big but the other way round

  On 6/2/2014 at 1:50 PM, oscillik said:

Kermit's Choice - A Holocaust themed Muppet's film

Oh god, Sharon Stone is was so hot.

 

To keep with the thread, my idea for a terrible film:

 

The Ice Cream Man: The main antagonist becomes a demon every time he has ice cream, and it's up to one man to stop him.

 

Edited June 2, 2014 by NorthernFusion

 

 

 

Spoiler that shit.

  On 6/2/2014 at 1:50 PM, oscillik said:

Honey, I shrunk the Arnold. Arnold Scwarzenegger is chased by insects for 2.5 hours in this epic action comedy for all the family. Watch as the fruity mrs butterfly is transformed into mr catterpillar. Oh, Arnie! Edited June 2, 2014 by Gocab

  On 6/2/2014 at 1:08 PM, Mesh Gear Fox said:

I like this thread!

 

dread dad - dad becomes a rasta - with crazy results! robert de niro plays dad, adam sandler applauds throughout the whole movie

 

transformers: rise of the reaganauts - whilst serving time in cushy prisons for the rich, the most gnarly of Reagans bunch cook up a plan to sell their own, liberty-loving transformers to america disguised as toys made by slave labour. once it becomes apparent that the toys are robots that love america, they really take off and sell by the millions, and this is when the transformers get involved. however, before the toys are sold, a long process of deregulation is needed to ensure their safety in us markets. this is the primary focus of the movie and it is narrated by a helpful voice explaining the ins and outs of the legal system in america whilst subtly enforcing a free market agenda.

 

ghost in my shoes! - a kid kicks a grave and wakes up the next day with a spooky new pal! his mum doesn't believe him until she one day runs over the cat and the car stops working - because it turned into a cat! the shoe ghost then tries to save christmas but realises it is stuck in a shoe. 76 minutes into the film, the long fight scene with the glasses from they live! is inexplicably spliced in.

 

*Gets out checkbook and green lights furiously*

 

 

 

 

 

Hmm...

 

 

How about a live action My Little Pony remake starring Dwayne Johnson, Shaquille O'Neal, Jason Statham, and a who's who of American character actors.

  On 6/2/2014 at 3:02 PM, Gocab said:

 

  On 6/2/2014 at 1:50 PM, oscillik said:

Honey, I shrunk the Arnold. Arnold Scwarzenegger is chased by insects for 2.5 hours in this epic action comedy for all the family. Watch as the fruity mrs butterfly is transformed into mr catterpillar. Oh, Arnie!

 

lol

oh god the lels

 

this thread has some mother fucking legs, I tell ye...

  On 6/2/2014 at 3:02 PM, Gocab said:

 

  On 6/2/2014 at 1:50 PM, oscillik said:

Honey, I shrunk the Arnold. Arnold Scwarzenegger is chased by insects for 2.5 hours in this epic action comedy for all the family. Watch as the fruity mrs butterfly is transformed into mr catterpillar. Oh, Arnie!

 

 

anything where my music would work as soundtrack