Post terrible idea for films

  On 6/3/2014 at 6:58 PM, MadameChaos said:

The SilenceA black and white swedish film in which a blonde man and lady stare out of the window at the sea. No one speaks and nothing happens. Run time 5 hours 42 minutes.

So it's basically a remake?

It's my kind of film though

  On 6/3/2014 at 11:10 PM, Roksen Creek said:

 

  On 6/3/2014 at 6:58 PM, MadameChaos said:

The SilenceA black and white swedish film in which a blonde man and lady stare out of the window at the sea. No one speaks and nothing happens. Run time 5 hours 42 minutes.

So it's basically a remake?

 

It's my kind of film though

Yeah, it's kind of like every Bergman film ever made if nothing happened in it at all. The critics will cream their corduroys over it. Oscars all around.

A cybergothpunktechnoirhackerthriller starring Ellen Page as a sultry vixen who seduces tons of men by luring them into a large mansion with the promise of kinky s&m dominatrix action. But the mansion is really home to a creepy lurid scientist (played by Robin Williams) that loved creating animal/human hybrids with alligators and ostriches and auctioning them off as pets to crazy Chinese business moguls with diplomatic immunity. Pages character ends up falling in love with zach braff, a pizza delivery man with a keen eye for suspicious activity that nonetheless senses nothing to be awry for 2/3 of the film.

In the end, Ellen page makes robin Williams bite off zach braffs dick because he tried to mansplain to her how to fix her car.

Dry - A 46 year old man wakes up one day to finally realize that he's not a man but an umbrella. The movie chronicles him being blown around for 2.5 hrs on various adventures - finally ending up happily ever after landing into the home of a woman with an umbrella fetish.

Wee: A romantic comedy that plays out entirely normally, except the male lead's flaccid penis is hanging out of his pants at all times.

The Slug King. A heartfelt family movie about two slug Elvis Presley impersonators, one of whom is black, with hilarious consequences. Starring Jake Busey and Danny De Vito.

A Slugs Life

A live action drama about the day in the life of a slug. This heart warming docudrama warns people about the dangers of salt.

  On 6/3/2014 at 10:54 PM, baph said:

In all seriousness, I just want to say that I really hope Ghost in My Shoes! gets made.

  On 6/4/2014 at 5:28 AM, Homestar Runner said:

Dry - A 46 year old man wakes up one day to finally realize that he's not a man but an umbrella. The movie chronicles him being blown around for 2.5 hrs on various adventures - finally ending up happily ever after landing into the home of a woman with an umbrella fetish.

There's a Michel Gondry short that's basically this, a girl who's very unhappy until she becomes a chair and is picked up by some musician who sits on her. Lol.

  On 6/4/2014 at 5:04 AM, Candiru said:

In the end, Ellen page makes robin Williams bite off zach braffs dick because he tried to mansplain to her how to fix her car.

That'll do.

The creative juices of watmm have been fully realised within this thread.

Note to Hollywood exec's and screenwriters who WILL be reading this thread: I'm pretty sure that like at least 60% of us would be available to attend kick-off meetings to discuss any of these topics. PM's plz.

  On 6/3/2014 at 9:17 PM, MisterE said:

 

  On 6/3/2014 at 6:58 PM, MadameChaos said:

The Silence

 

A black and white swedish film in which a blonde man and lady stare out of the window at the sea. No one speaks and nothing happens. Run time 5 hours 42 minutes.

didn't andy warhol make a few dozen 'films' like this

 

Yes: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andy_warhol#Films

  On 6/4/2014 at 12:54 PM, poblequadrat said:

 

  On 6/4/2014 at 5:28 AM, Homestar Runner said:

Dry - A 46 year old man wakes up one day to finally realize that he's not a man but an umbrella. The movie chronicles him being blown around for 2.5 hrs on various adventures - finally ending up happily ever after landing into the home of a woman with an umbrella fetish.

 

There's a Michel Gondry short that's basically this, a girl who's very unhappy until she becomes a chair and is picked up by some musician who sits on her. Lol.

 

just looked it up - gonna have to see this haha

It's pretty good!

Benny Hill The Movie

Benny sneaks a peak up a busty french-maids skirt and for the next one and a half hours there is a chase sequence to comical music

  On 6/3/2014 at 5:58 AM, sheatheman said:

A film with Patrick Swayze, Jeff Bridges, Kurt Russel, and Kevin Bacon. The four of them all happen to be going to the same restaurant, The Emerald Tavern, for a blind date. Their dates get horribly confused about who is who, one thinking Kurt Russel is Jeff Bridges, another thinking Patrick Swayze is Kevin Bacon. Eventually our four heroes meet in the bathroom and discover that they all look identical, and agree to switch their girlfriends up frequently so that things stay fresh. They leave the bathroom only to find the restaurant reduced to rubble. A nuke has destroyed the entire city. Some how the bathroom survived unscathed. It turns out World War 3 has started and the Earth's population has all but been wiped out. All of their girlfriends have disappeared, captured by the maleficent allegiance of sand worms, a shape-shifting alien from the south pole, a sentient race of viral AI's, and a small town tycoon who runs a rival restaurant to the Emerald Tavern. Our heroes join forces to defeat this evil alliance, rescue their girlfriends, and repopulate the earth.

 

 

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aaaa this actually sounds quite good. probably would have worked a little better if it was made in the 80s though, hot damn lol.

  On 6/3/2014 at 1:29 PM, feltcher said:

Friends: The Movie

 

Joey and the other ones get back together again for exactly 92 minutes of in-jokes, capers and scrapes. One scene is a pizza delivery moped being chased by Monica who is passenger in a taxi "Follow that pizza delivery guy!" she says and then when they catch up she realises its Joey "Oh you guys!!!!"

 

The main plot is still a very much TBC "secret" but it involves Phoebe writing a musical for Broadway and there is a big song and dance scene near the end and there are some fireworks and somebody gets married to someone else and Joey is late but says "Wasssssuppppppppp" as he arrives in a cab and the Rembrandts are the wedding band and they sing the title song (which also appears at 5 other points throughout the film in various remixes by Skrillex, David Guetta and The Pet Shop boys. Album due out June 2015)

 

Also there are some super secret Hollywood cameo's throughout the film, big hitting names such as Kevin "Tremors" Bacon (starring as: the new hunky guy next door who manages to "woo" both Monica and Rachel

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but ends up with Phoebe)

, Danny "Lethal Weapon" Glover (starring as: The Taxi Driver) and Carmen Electra (starring as: the broadway dame)

 

Not recorded in front of a live studio audience. No laughter to help prompt you to the bits that are meant to be funny.

 

*edit* news just in - Carmen Electra has walked out of her role on the film, saying that it did not fulfil her needs. A replacement is yet to be sought.

*double edit* to be directed by Richard "Notting Hill / Love Actually" Curtis. Screenplay by Joey.

was watching friends on telly little recently and there was an episode that had this outdoor on location segment with chandler running around outside on the streets chasing a girl or a car or something. and it looked all pro filmed and not infront of audience (laugh track added) and it really got me wondering, how the hell did Friends make it through the 90s for 10 or whatever years without having a movie adaptation made?? it totally probably would not have been any good, but I cant imagine it being anything but a massive financial success. (and like, in the eyes of Hollywood isn't that all that really matters in the end???)

The Hand

  On 6/6/2014 at 2:41 AM, Schlitze said:

The Hand

off topic, but: i'm desperately looking for a film that is about an evil severed hand walking around on its fingers (and probably killing people and stuff). i've seen that one maybe 10 or 15 years ago on tv, and it had a scene in it where a whole bunch of hands sit in a tree like a flock of birds... that image kind stuck with me since

could this be it? or any suggestions, anyone? thx

This may be what you are looking for.

  On 6/6/2014 at 4:05 PM, patternoverlap said:

This may be what you are looking for.

nah, that one doesn't have the tree scene...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rh3lJ8gZThI

This actually sounds incredible.

An 20-something year old couple are chased out of their city by zombie infection. They narrowly escape by fleeing onto a rickety tiny wooden boat. They are stranded at sea together... and forced to resort to cannibalism. Soundtrack by Erik Satie.

  On 6/6/2014 at 3:40 PM, kieselguhr kid said:

 

  On 6/6/2014 at 2:41 AM, Schlitze said:

The Hand

off topic, but: i'm desperately looking for a film that is about an evil severed hand walking around on its fingers (and probably killing people and stuff). i've seen that one maybe 10 or 15 years ago on tv, and it had a scene in it where a whole bunch of hands sit in a tree like a flock of birds... that image kind stuck with me since

could this be it? or any suggestions, anyone? thx

 

Eric Red's Body Parts?

  On 6/6/2014 at 5:19 PM, Echolalia said:

 

  On 6/6/2014 at 3:40 PM, kieselguhr kid said:

 

  On 6/6/2014 at 2:41 AM, Schlitze said:

The Hand

off topic, but: i'm desperately looking for a film that is about an evil severed hand walking around on its fingers (and probably killing people and stuff). i've seen that one maybe 10 or 15 years ago on tv, and it had a scene in it where a whole bunch of hands sit in a tree like a flock of birds... that image kind stuck with me since

could this be it? or any suggestions, anyone? thx

 

 

Eric Red's Body Parts?

 

i don't think so; right now i have the feeling that THE HAND from schlitze's post may be what i need. i'll try to track it down in my local video store, can't find it online.

Body Parts looks great though

Stall

Eric Roberts is a regular IT guy working in a corporate high rise. His life is otherwise normal except for one big secret: he spends his lunch breaks locked in the executive handicapped stall tripping on psychedelics of his own devising. In his stall he is swept away into a colorful world full of interesting characters that come out of his imagination. Or so he thought! From the makers of Cool World comes the next big hit combining live action and traditional animation.