hey i'm tired of being shy

get on the train at rush hour for a bit of frottage if you feel lonely sure.

delet...: i'm curious, where in aus do you live, anyway?

I used to be alot like the OP, very socially inept and timid etc. i was really fat too, but one year ago i decided i was better than this shit. i bought two dumbbells, changed my diet from crappy white wheat stuff to protein shakes, all-bran, bananas and lo-fat milk. i started working out to metal radiostations and for cardio, since i was too shy to go out and run and thought everyone would just be disgusted, I listened to drum n bass radiostations and danced and freaked in my own room and jumped up and down, running on the spot etc, and it worked.

i worked on my self image and got more friends, i've noticed i'm a really social person which explains why i've felt so shit for all this time

I recommend the sites www.johnstonefitness.com and http://www.cs.unm.edu/~wneumann/files/guer...lla%20cardio%22

also, www.nlpweekly.com helpful with self image and stuff

you deserve a better self image. your body != self image, but the one might affect the other

your self image and your behaviour is directly infleunced of how you view yourself. you seem to have a really low self image, and its common. try simple steps in countering this, like, everytime you see yourself in the mirror, think what a sexy guy that is, instead of the usual stuff. you'll think it's stupid the first times but trust me, it works. soon you'll be so sexy you can barely stop staring when you're in the mirror, hehe j/k

but basically, try to be more positive about yourself, dont think how stupid you look, notice everytime you do and how bad it feels, start thinking positively instead. it really works, trust me

find some other interests than sitting in front of the computer all day, meet people who like things you like, just get with people. people arent very selective, the only selective ppl i've met are internet jerks who are used to just closing a window when they're chatting with someone that doesn't please them

its hard to explain but seriously. youre not as fat or ugly or stupid as you think you are, you have no reason not to be with people and shy away, you deserve friends and chicks and all that good stuff!

yup, i was the same till i got sick of barely any girls and went the gym for like 6-7 hours a week

havin said that, all i say to girls now is 'im well good at the piano' and then play some debussy and im showered in pussy, i never even tried that when i was proper fat and shy.

  کhamanix said:

havin said that, all i say to girls now is 'im well good at the piano' and then play some debussy and im showered in pussy, i never even tried that when i was proper fat and shy.

LOL (at not with)

  oxiactionmax said:

  کhamanix said:

havin said that, all i say to girls now is 'im well good at the piano' and then play some debussy and im showered in pussy, i never even tried that when i was proper fat and shy.

 

LOL (at not with)

i wasnt loling so you didnt really need to point that out heh.

  کhamanix said:

  oxiactionmax said:

  کhamanix said:

havin said that, all i say to girls now is 'im well good at the piano' and then play some debussy and im showered in pussy, i never even tried that when i was proper fat and shy.

 

LOL (at not with)

i wasnt loling so you didnt really need to point that out heh.

you weren't? don't you find the legend of Shamanix, the drug peddling piano virtuoso casanova who very probably slays a few dragons on his days off amusing?

start smoking crack - problem solved

also! always make good eye contact with everyone.. look them right in the pupil:

jesus, don't start doing drugs. that's the worst advice ever, especially when you're, as you said. 27 and looking like jeff lebowski.

get a job. if you're bored, get two jobs. work alot. talk to all your coworkers. you'll get to know them, and if you're qualified to get a job you actually like then you'll most likely have stuff in common with your coworkers. also, don't you live with your parents? if so, move out when you are financially stable enough to do so. get some roommates. and realize that in social situations, as long as it won't kill you, it's worth trying.

i wouldn't advise forming friendships based on weed bonds; weed made me so much more paranoid in public, just as you're saying with thinking those around you are scrutinizing you, and meeting friends through weed isn't nearly as nice as meeting friends because they're actually just cool motherfuckers. i dono, weed doesn't help social situations much imo

Yeah the drug idea is a stupid one, but if it's a road your going to take at least do coke so you'll chat bollocks to anyone or anything, shyness solved!

yeah getting a job is the best advice. and getting out more. local library? local swimming pool? local gym.you become a regularand get to know other regulars. drugs can be a good way to get to know people but they're likely to make you depressed so not a good route.

Another young man wants to go to parties and other social events---indeed, he is very, very lonely---but he never goes anywhere because he's very nervous about meeting new people. Too many people will be there and crowds only make things worse for him. The thought of meeting new people scares him---will he know what to say? Will they stare at him and make him feel even more insignificant? Will they reject him outright? Even if they seem nice, they're sure to notice his frozen look and his inability to fully smile. They'll sense his discomfort and tenseness and they won't like him --- there's just no way to win --- "I'm always going to be an outcast," he predicts. And he spends the night alone, at home, watching television again. He feels comfortable at home. In fact, home is the only place he does feel completely comfortable. He hasn't gone anywhere else in twelve years.

In public places, such as work, meetings, or shopping, people with social anxiety feel that everyone is watching, staring, and judging them (even though rationally they know this isn't true). The socially anxious person can't relax, "take it easy", and enjoy themselves in public. In fact, they can never fully relax when other people are around. It always feels like others are evaluating them, being critical of them, or "judging" them in some way. The person with social anxiety knows that people don't do this openly, of course, but they still feel the self-consciousness and judgment while they are in the other person's presence. It's sometimes impossible to let go, relax, and focus on anything else except the anxiety and fear. Because the anxiety is so very painful, it's much easier just to stay away from social situations and avoid other people altogether.

Many times people with social anxiety simply must be alone---closeted---with the door closed behind them. Even when they're around familiar people, a person with social anxiety may feel overwhelmed and have the feeling that others are noticing their every movement and critiquing their every thought. They feel like they are being observed critically and that other people are making negative judgments about them.

do you have social anxiety phobia:

http://www.socialphobia.org/fact.html

planetoid: you need to post a picture of yourself if you want to begin to overcome your shyness.

Yeah and apologize to the leaders of shyness. Rehabilitation is a long road to recovery.

yeah i stopped being shy because i was too horny and lonely and girls kept talking to me so i decided i had to step this shit up. it started because i was exercising and gained a fairly good self image as was stated, and it made me feel better all around. more energy and all that.

dunno, i don't have any friends and im fine..

well i do actually, but they are very far away and i see them once a year or something..

the only thing that bothers me about it is explaining someone why i dont have any

friends enhance the quality of life, so there's no reason not to have any.

Planetoid, make more threads of similiar quality to this, because it's much better than your inane nonsense.

I used to have some issues like this. I still have issues getting a girlfriend :ermm:, but I now have many friends in all sorts of social circles. So the friends issue is certainly solved.

Anyway, here's my advice:

Like everyone else has said, get friends at work/school. There, you're sort of forced to be by people you don't know, so then you have a chance to get to know them. Learn a little about everything, so then you can talk to everyone about everything. There are issues/topics in life that almost everyone can relate to, like talking about other people, the weather (I know this sounds boring, but it's possible to talk about it without being boring), driving, and pop culture. When you meet people, find out their interests, and if you know nothing about those subjects, look shit up. Even if all you read is a wikipedia article, you can engage in discussion about it. You can be like "I should try that some time". Also, generally if you smile and don't look sad or angry, people will be more comfortable around you. Learn your own character flaws, and avoid situations in which they arise. If you disagree with someone over something, try to change the subject instead of getting into an argument. Speak in terms that the other person understands and can relate to. If you're talking to a black guy, use a more ebonics-type speech style, but don't overdo it or a person might think you're fucking with them. Say hi (or whatever that person's equivalent word is, like say "sup" to a younger person). If you can't speak for various reasons (ex (you'll never encounter this anymore though): if I'm in detention in school), just do the little thing where you raise your head suddenly, the universal male signal of "yo, what's up man". I have a bad tendancy that I've gotten into with communication with highschool students and especially black people where I do the little black people "handshake", and it's become habit and occasionally I accidentally do it to adults or something and I'm sort of like "oops, wrong handshake". Keep up with news that people are interested about. Talk about Steve Irwin's death rather than the war in *insert country here*. Social things are a feedback loop, the more you talk to other people, the easier it is to do. The tough part is doing it the first few times. If you're near a couple of groups of people you don't know, listen to their conversations. Then be like "sorry for intruding, but I couldn't help but notice you were talking about *insert topic here*, so *insert your 2 cents here*". Avoid prejudices like racism or "rednecks are always assholes no matter what"-ism, it limits the amount of friends you can make. Everyone has a redeeming quality to them somewhere, even J Swift (though I have not yet found it). Look back on your past experiences, and think about what you will do differently next time. There always is a next time. In conversation, modestly make mention of your positive qualities (with some excuse, like use it to lead into a story or anecdote or a joke), but don't ever brag. Avoid subjects people are uncomfortable with (4chan-type shit). Don't spend to much time around one person, they can grow tired of the same personality. Most importantly: be yourself, don't try to change who you are for other people (this is called being a poser).

  Quote

If you're talking to a black guy, use a more ebonics-type speech style,

lol

  ULCRESHXOBG said:

If you're talking to a black guy, use a more ebonics-type speech style

yeah, this works.

if you're around asian people, go CHING CHONG MAO MAO, squint your eyes and make sure you stick your front teeth out. ask them if they like DDR and if they race at all.

you know what a good solution for this whole, "african american" or "black" thing is? call them africans. we call asians asians i dont see why we cant do the same and just call africans africans.

  dinner at my house said:

you know what a good solution for this whole, "african american" or "black" thing is? call them africans. we call asians asians i dont see why we cant do the same and just call africans africans.

i call them darkies

shouldn't you just call them all Americans?

  zaphod said:

  dinner at my house said:

you know what a good solution for this whole, "african american" or "black" thing is? call them africans. we call asians asians i dont see why we cant do the same and just call africans africans.

 

i call them darkies

That's a little extreme. I would tone that down a bit.