A few films recently watched.

shannon has some good moments but i've never seen a convincing film. shotgun stories was nice.

  On 5/15/2012 at 8:38 PM, iep said:

shannon has some good moments but i've never seen a convincing film.

He's pretty damn convincing in Revolutionary Road

The human centipede

Christ sake, the most gruesome and sickening movie i saw since Ichi the Killer i think, i expected some dumbass horrormovie but the actors are pretty sweet and the story was insane

great hangover movie, recommanded!

human centipede is something of a classic. the villain was hilarious/awesome and the japanese guy was also hilarious.

You guys can't be serious.

Nordkraft (Angels in Fast Motion) - Boring, shit script, shit acting, shit everything. COuldn't give a fuck about anybody in it. Wanted to turn it off after 20 odd mins but thought I'd give it the benedit of the doubt as it was painfully obviousy going to attempt to tie up the boring loose threads. Wish I'd not bothered. Total rubbish from start to finish. One point for not being Sex and the City. 1 / 10

  On 5/15/2012 at 8:33 PM, Squee said:

  On 5/15/2012 at 8:25 PM, Benedict Cumberbatch said:

  On 5/15/2012 at 3:19 PM, Suffocate Peon said:

Take Shelter - 10

I wanted to watch this film because of Michael Shannon's 3 minute appearance in Before the Devil knows You're Dead. Found the film unconvincing at first but I thought it was heading in a more supernatural/horror direction. I was gripped by the last half, Michael Shannon's performance elevates the film. That Brad Pitt got an oscar nomination for Moneyball over this is so ridiculous I can only assume no one on the judging panel had seen the film. He's that good I think I'm going to force myself to watch Boardwalk Empire to see what he does in it. Then I might watch Revolutionary Road, and pay to watch Zack Snyder's new Superman film. He's that good..

 

my son my son what have ye done.

he's good in that too. film is terrible

 

fixed

i disagree. i thought it was decent. terrible is harsh

  On 5/15/2012 at 9:21 PM, Ivan Ooze said:

The human centipede

 

 

have no interest in seeing but wondering how graphic these films can actually be. do you see asshole?

  On 5/15/2012 at 11:23 PM, Benedict Cumberbatch said:

have no interest in seeing but wondering how graphic these films can actually be. do you see asshole?

not graphic at all really. also utter shit. the version in your mind is 10000000% worse (and maybe that was the point).

  On 5/15/2012 at 3:55 PM, Suffocate Peon said:

  On 5/15/2012 at 3:45 PM, keltoi said:

that's some generous scoring!

 

You think? Shit Attack is giving stuff like Magnolia only 3/10, Boogie Nights 4/10, Inglorious Basterds 4/10, is that normal for this thread? Hard to give a film below 5, I still enjoy some aspects of them.

those films got what they deserved . could go into detail but watched so many recently + cant be fucked reviewing every one individually. overall those ones get marked down for trying to be arty or something but actually being completely stupid + cheesy. Boogie nights for instance has an entire second half that drones on and on trying to beat you over the head with like "things are going downhill now, see get it ?" while supposedly bad things happen to the characters but none of it even gets mentioned again despite there being murders/robberies/blah blah, none of it had any consequences at all it was just a bunch of unrelated scenes. also am bored of films that show the supposed rise and fall of some wacky characters from the 70s/80s set to a soundtrack of the days hits. that sort of shit was played out by the end of goodfellas or any other number of those kind of films, gets on my nerves.nowadays. Basically the only point of that movie was to feel smug and laugh at the brainless characters doing stupid shit that didnt even matter anyway, may aswell have been watching dumb and dumber or something. so basically i call that shoddy film making, especially if its supposed to be like some classic movie or something.

as for magnolia any movie that features this

is getting marked waaaay down. the rest of the film started out ok but i just didnt give a shit about any of it. was just like a worse version of that short cuts movie and by the end i pretty much hated it + the people in it. and inglorious basterds has some good bits, (basically just the jew hunter character) but overall tarantino is just irritating by this point + needs an editor or something. I mean they spend about 10 minutes setting up a bit where this british officer meets winston churchill and gets this big plan and all this shit then he just gets killed in the next scene so what was the point of it? basically ill let the popcorn flicks off with it because theyre just like trying to tell you a story or whatever, but the supposed "good" films that we're supposed to take seriously get rated harshly !!!!!!

  On 5/15/2012 at 5:37 PM, iep said:

  On 5/15/2012 at 7:55 AM, Shit Attack said:

Solaris (1972) - 8/10 - flawed greatness

Stalker - 9/10 - pretty great

The mirror/zerkalo - 5/10 - some greatness, some boredom

 

does not compute numerically

dont get your point . the mirror movie was boring in a way where the other movies were semi boring but you at least felt they were going somewhere. this one had some great visuals + little bits but was mostly just boring. to be fair tho probably need to watch this one again.

  On 5/15/2012 at 6:12 PM, Atop said:

Shit Attack? More like shit storm...........

 

 

Read the Rules noobs!

is there a rule you need to give shitty films a good rating or something, who needs that

In Time, Aka, that movie with Justin Timberlake - 4/10

Really cool concept, and that's about it. I didn't care for much of the acting, and there were a couple of plot-holes.

  On 5/15/2012 at 8:21 AM, keltoi said:

hard boiled - turned off after an hour when i realised it had another hour to go. maybe wasn't in the mood for relentless shoot outs and motorbikes jumping on fire and stuff. got bored.

You sir, are both a heathen and a philistine. Good day.

  On 5/16/2012 at 12:15 AM, Shit Attack said:

  On 5/15/2012 at 6:12 PM, Atop said:

Shit Attack? More like shit storm...........

 

 

Read the Rules noobs!

 

is there a rule you need to give shitty films a good rating or something, who needs that

No one needs anything here, it's a message board. You just have your priorities in what makes film good all wrong. This is my opinion. Your reviews get a 3/10.

and you should still

Read the rules.

  On 5/15/2012 at 11:23 PM, Benedict Cumberbatch said:

do you see asshole?

SPOILER \/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Nope.

Opinions from Shit Attack prove to be quite a shit attack.

Opinions from Shit Attack light my balls on fire!

just watched Die Tur which is a nice little German time travel movie with a bit of made for TV look and feel sex or 7 out of tin.

  On 5/16/2012 at 4:56 AM, Atop said:

  On 5/16/2012 at 12:15 AM, Shit Attack said:

  On 5/15/2012 at 6:12 PM, Atop said:

Shit Attack? More like shit storm...........

 

 

Read the Rules noobs!

 

is there a rule you need to give shitty films a good rating or something, who needs that

 

No one needs anything here, it's a message board. You just have your priorities in what makes film good all wrong. This is my opinion. Your reviews get a 3/10.

 

and you should still

 

Read the rules.

well your opinions get a..........oh wait i never bothered to read them . oops ! do kinda wonder what particularly shitty movie i knocked put your panties in a bunch tho, just out of interest

  On 5/16/2012 at 5:57 AM, Candiru said:

Opinions from Shit Attack prove to be quite a shit attack.

this is a local message board for local messageboard people !

What I would like to know is what movies are 10/10 in your book. Or do you just not hand out perfect scores?

nah i wouldnt give a perfect score to something , 9's as good as its gonna get. think you guys seem to take the number based rating system a bit too seriously tho. what films would you rate as a 10 ? cant think of any anyway

  On 5/16/2012 at 8:30 AM, Shit Attack said:

what films would you rate as a 10 ?

I think its good to rate a movie based on its own little world and the resulting satisfaction rather than some gold standard or filmschool dicklist or something. If I was glued to my chair and didn't want to pause to take a piss then it was probably a 10.

10's are all over the place but sometimes they are hiding right in your butt.

  On 5/16/2012 at 4:23 AM, chenGOD said:

  On 5/15/2012 at 8:21 AM, keltoi said:

hard boiled - turned off after an hour when i realised it had another hour to go. maybe wasn't in the mood for relentless shoot outs and motorbikes jumping on fire and stuff. got bored.

 

You sir, are both a heathen and a philistine. Good day.

come on john woo sucks ass. he was better before selling his soul to hollywood but still... hard boiled is chow yun fat running around shooting 100 bullets from a single handgun and stuntmen diving away from exploding motorbikes. it starts well but it's so cheesy i just couldn't stick with it. not my cuppa.

edit ps - chow yun fat is awesome though.

lol rating are serious business. especially the ones from anonymous people on message boards.

also, how can you not give something a perfect score? don't you have a best movie you saw, ever? isn't a 9 actually a 10 in that context anyway?

what is wrong with people and ratings, it's just random numbers.

The 7th Berlin Biennale for Contemporary Art 3.5/10

Political innit.

  On 5/16/2012 at 9:21 AM, RadarJammer said:

  On 5/16/2012 at 8:30 AM, Shit Attack said:

what films would you rate as a 10 ?

 

I think its good to rate a movie based on its own little world and the resulting satisfaction rather than some gold standard or filmschool dicklist or something. If I was glued to my chair and didn't want to pause to take a piss then it was probably a 10.

and

are two 10's that immediately spring to mind not because they are perfect movies but because they were fun not only fun to watch but do a really good job of capturing the spirit and attitude of a time and place which is normally hard to imagine or relate to and when a movie pulls that off right it almost certainly gets a round of 10's or maybe 5 eberts.

 

10's are all over the place but sometimes they are hiding right in your butt.

well i dont have that either which is why i originaly just posted whether i liked it or not in 1 sentence, but some of these guys were upset or something so i then explained in GREAT UNFLINCHING DETAIL why i didnt like those movies personaly . would rather just say it was cool or wasnt, which originally i already did before these fellows became agitated by this approach, .and The number ratings were being used long before shit attack ragged on the marky mark flick, so when in rome you use the romans numerical movie rating system.

  On 5/16/2012 at 9:34 AM, kinski said:

lol rating are serious business. especially the ones from anonymous people on message boards.

 

also, how can you not give something a perfect score? don't you have a best movie you saw, ever? isn't a 9 actually a 10 in that context anyway?

 

what is wrong with people and ratings, it's just random numbers.

am not the one who was annoyed at the numbers + am just answering these guys who were annoyed or something so dont see ur point there. some of these guys were like personaly ofended i didnt give a high number to a film they liked or something. and if 9 is a perfect score thats cool with me, some other guy asked why i never gave something 10 . just didnt feel like it. these go up to 11

Elena - 7.5/10

Fantstically shot.

Chungking Express - 10/10

I love this film.

  On 5/16/2012 at 10:11 AM, Shit Attack said:

am not the one who was annoyed at the numbers + am just answering these guys who were annoyed or something so dont see ur point there. some of these guys were like personaly ofended i didnt give a high number to a film they liked or something. and if 9 is a perfect score thats cool with me, some other guy asked why i never gave something 10 . just didnt feel like it. these go up to 11

I just wanted to make sure your idea of viewing films is putting yourself on some imaginary piedestal where you try to make sure as little as possible actually satisfies you in order to maintain an over-blown ego. My reaction is that this is bound to make movie going as boring as possible and that leads me to believe you don't actually like movies. Either that or you're a horribly boring person. I'm not offended but I find it funny, and you have to accept that people might find you as unlikeable as they come.

There are tons and tons of perfect films precisely because they aren't "perfect". If there ever was a "perfect" film, what a horrible world that would be.

omlol