stupid first world problems you're dealing with

My last record delivery came with a creased cover, it's a disaster because you can't really complain to the sender. Well maybe you can actually but mine seemed to be packaged ok.

haven't had quality ganj time since the summer

dunno where to get any because i have no friends

think i might be turning into an agoraphobe too

people keep talking about how easy it is to find weed in montreal tho

 

keep having these dreams where my teeth fall out

that's supposed to mean something but they say that about everything these days

 

i keep saying that i hate the internet & i wanna get off but i don't

because when i'm irl i'm just a boringass fake motherfucker

 

giving away all my stuff

feel no desire to spend the money i make

threw out all my food

 

keep thinking about suicide for some reason

like still in a jokey "haha you wouldn't, you're too much of a pussy" way

"you wouldn't even make oblique reference to it as a cry for attention"

because i get weird when people act concerned

"but if you did tho what would you use"

 

and i dunno it creeps me out a bit

I already wrote it, and some dudes replied and shit, but I forgot the answers...

 

I can't focus in one thing at a time, therefore, I can't do anything correctly.

  On 1/19/2014 at 1:40 AM, Cryptowen said:

haven't had quality ganj time since the summer

dunno where to get any because i have no friends

think i might be turning into an agoraphobe too

people keep talking about how easy it is to find weed in montreal tho

 

keep having these dreams where my teeth fall out

that's supposed to mean something but they say that about everything these days

 

i keep saying that i hate the internet & i wanna get off but i don't

because when i'm irl i'm just a boringass fake motherfucker

 

giving away all my stuff

feel no desire to spend the money i make

threw out all my food

 

keep thinking about suicide for some reason

like still in a jokey "haha you wouldn't, you're too much of a pussy" way

"you wouldn't even make oblique reference to it as a cry for attention"

because i get weird when people act concerned

"but if you did tho what would you use"

 

and i dunno it creeps me out a bit

Sounds like you are in a lot of discomfort man. It reminds me a lot of when I moved to Philly. New cities are always weird and lonely for a while.

 

I would try to give you some advice except all i basically did was live through it. I drank and read weird books and occasionally wrote music. I did do a night internship at a recording studio where I learned a lot. I felt like I was going crazy a lot. I still do.

 

It does get easier as you meet the one or two people you can open up to. Actually if I have one piece of advice it's to do you're best not to be fake around people. 1, most people suck and it doesn't matter, and 2, you won't meet the people you like unless you act realer.

 

Good luck man. I have your shit up in my living room. People love it. It's awesome.

thanks a/d, you're a bro

i'm probably just in a bad mood because I haven't made any music or pictures in a longass time

 

regards meeting people: i've been using the language barrier as an excuse for a long time, and at this point it's just that, because my written french comprehension is getting pretty well along, & I'm only going to get better conversationally by having actual conversations

  Quote

1, most people suck and it doesn't matter

tbh this is my mindset, i'd much rather be a weirdo isolationist who makes killer shit than some guy with a big superficial circle of peers. Problem at the moment is I don't feel I'm pulling either - not producing 4trax a day like some sorta rainman, not going to parties like a cool kid. Mostly just disconnecting entirely, giving away all my shit, eating raw meat once every three days, going to bed at 8pm, etc.

 

it's this constant cycle of planning to plan out a game plan for how i'm going to start doing things i front like i care about

 

anyway tho i'm kind of rambling, i probably won't kill myself but i did call the suicide hotline

I don't have much to add to A/D's post because he's hit the nail on the head. I'm scared you'red talking about killing yourself... if you need anything or want to chat about anything, there are people here including myself that would love to help.

 

I had a period in my life where I was trying really hard to change myself and I kept having the teeth falling out dream too, and thought about just killing myself a number of times. I think those things are related.

 

That being said, I don't think you're a "fake motherfucker" or any of that. In who's eyes are you fake? You're just you man. I have several anxiety and self image issues and I (think I) know what train of thought you're coming from... Do you not meet people because of fear of judgement or are you anxious about exhibiting your actual self to others?

 

Anyways, I think you're pretty cool shit and I also think you should come visit and we'll smoke a fat joint and be anxious together, lol.

 

cheers please stay safe

  On 1/19/2014 at 3:09 AM, StephenG said:

are you anxious about exhibiting your actual self to others?

well tbh i think i have a lot of repressed anger dating back to early childhood experiences, so there are plenty of situations where people will go "oh owen, he's chill, what a nice guy", and deep down I'm thinking "oh my god everything is so stupid i hate it". I think my efforts to not hurt people's feelings is ultimately dishonest & more hurtful in the long run.

 

It's hard to describe in words, though, because inner me isn't some sorta snarky jaded fuck, I just wanna be able to shake people & go "C'MON MAN YOU'RE BETTER THAN THIS, STOP QUOTING INTERNET MEMES AND TELL ME HOW YOU FEEL"

  Quote

I also think you should come visit and we'll smoke a fat joint and be anxious together, lol.

well actually my brother & i have been talking about going on a month-long peyote journey across the west coast this spring, so we could like, actually do that

  On 1/19/2014 at 3:21 AM, Cryptowen said:

 

  On 1/19/2014 at 3:09 AM, StephenG said:

are you anxious about exhibiting your actual self to others?

well tbh i think i have a lot of repressed anger dating back to early childhood experiences, so there are plenty of situations where people will go "oh owen, he's chill, what a nice guy", and deep down I'm thinking "oh my god everything is so stupid i hate it". I think my efforts to not hurt people's feelings is ultimately dishonest & more hurtful in the long run.

 

It's hard to describe in words, though, because inner me isn't some sorta snarky jaded fuck, I just wanna be able to shake people & go "C'MON MAN YOU'RE BETTER THAN THIS, STOP QUOTING INTERNET MEMES AND TELL ME HOW YOU FEEL"

  Quote

I also think you should come visit and we'll smoke a fat joint and be anxious together, lol.

well actually my brother & i have been talking about going on a month-long peyote journey across the west coast this spring, so we could like, actually do that

 

Ha! That's exactly how I feel. Like A/D said though, in my opinion, most people suck. It's weird because it's a fine line.... Often times I think I want more friends and I wish I could connect with more people but at the same time, I realize I want to connect just for the sake of connecting. So I'm more of an introvert. I'd rather explore my own mind than others, most of the time. That sounds narcissistic but I don't intend it that way.... I just realize I have a lot to explore and understand about myself. My parents split up when I was young and that's left me with an extremely strange complex that would take pages to explain....

 

But this isn't about me!

 

Did you have any trouble throughout school (mostly jr high, high school) ?

 

 

 

But stay strong man. You have a lot to live for, especially discovering yourself...

Edited January 19, 2014 by StephenG

my good friend of many years and roomate moved out last year to live with his gf and ever since then i never see him. he's phoned a couple times and said we should meet up but he keeps standing me up. i ran into him today and he was all like happy and shit and i told him he can phone me, he's got my number but i know he won't . i wanna fucking rage at him and tell him off for real but i won't. i realize he's not my friend in fact i think i've complained about this before on here. still bothersome. it's funny how life goes through these "seasons" of time. like , i've been popular and had lots of good friends before but at the moment i have very few friends and shit and i feel like i can truly only trust my family.

Apparently in your 40's you only get 2-3 close friends, so you're just off to an early start OR a dleetr start as i like to call it. [-;

Own you should shake people and tell them they're better than this. That's like the highest calling in the world. If you deny yourself that, you deny the world of something incredible.

Perhaps yek's old flatmate was reclusive, doesn't need many people around and so when he was living with yek they do would naturally stuff and just hang as their paths were aligned through cohabitation. Now the guy's girlfriend has taken that role as regular companion and everything outside of that and the routine built into it is seen as an hassle. It's not on purpose, it just is.

  On 1/19/2014 at 6:54 AM, delet... said:

Perhaps yek's old flatmate was reclusive, doesn't need many people around and so when he was living with yek they do would naturally stuff and just hang as their paths were aligned through cohabitation. Now the guy's girlfriend has taken that role as regular companion and everything outside of that and the routine built into it is seen as an hassle. It's not on purpose, it just is.

 

this is quite possible.

  On 1/19/2014 at 3:21 AM, Cryptowen said:

well tbh i think i have a lot of repressed anger dating back to early childhood experiences, so there are plenty of situations where people will go "oh owen, he's chill, what a nice guy", and deep down I'm thinking "oh my god everything is so stupid i hate it". I think my efforts to not hurt people's feelings is ultimately dishonest & more hurtful in the long run.

 

at least you can talk about it here. we - or at least some of WATMM anyway - are here for you.

Trying to find a trac that was on a Kode9 mix from 2007, but don't know the name of it. I think it was by The Bug. I know Jah War and Poison Dart are already on it, but there's another one I recognize by sound only.

  On 1/17/2014 at 2:14 AM, usagi said:

will your poopaholic Russian Blue also be attending? if not, I can provide catsitting services.

 

poopcat will not be in attendance. he has a sitter who somehow manages to keep him from fearpooping.

your offer is very much appreciated, though, lol

/unsurprised by usagi's strange fetish.

bumbaclot I binna found out *flees*

  On 1/21/2014 at 12:38 AM, usagi said:

bumbaclot I binna found out *flees*

richiebees?

 

PS does anyone know where the OP is? =( Last active in May 2013. I hope he's ok...

Edited January 21, 2014 by StephenG

burst water main down the road. Annoying, no water to cook din dins. Really a second or third world problem because this is the second time in two years this has happened. The website of the water provider says '10 houses effected' but there are way more houses on that street than the number quoted not to mention everyone downstream from it like our house. They just want their stats to look better so that they don't have to upgrade birsbane's plumbing. Bonuses all round for the pointless vampires that run our society.

a cat fight woke me up in the middle of the night, they must have been just feet from my open window. scared the shit out of me. ,,,, at first i didn't know it was cats, sounded like a fucking banshee.

  On 1/21/2014 at 6:59 PM, yek said:

a cat fight woke me up in the middle of the night, they must have been just feet from my open window. scared the shit out of me. ,,,, at first i didn't know it was cats, sounded like a fucking banshee.

Good thing I read the whole post. When I hear "cat fight" it's rare that it's in a literal context.

  On 1/21/2014 at 11:11 PM, ambermonk said:

 

  On 1/21/2014 at 6:59 PM, yek said:

a cat fight woke me up in the middle of the night, they must have been just feet from my open window. scared the shit out of me. ,,,, at first i didn't know it was cats, sounded like a fucking banshee.

Good thing I read the whole post. When I hear "cat fight" it's rare that it's in a literal context.

 

lol, i know

So, there has been an ongoing thing between myself and moneymart. Long story short, my dad is very very sick and I send money to him monthly. They denied one of my money transfers in October and since then they refuse to let me use their services. They have given me ZERO explanation as to why, and only said I am not allowed to use their services anywhere in the world to send OR receive money.

 

So I opened a BBB complaint. It's already the end of january and I finally get a response. It's the SAME FUCKING GENERIC RESPONSE THEY TOLD ME OVER THE PHONE IN OCTOBER!

 

Re: Western Union

 

Dear Stephen G,

 

Western Union continually monitors the use of its systems to understand its customers’ usage. We apologize for any disruption in your ability to conduct money transfers and any inconvenience this may have caused.

Western Union’s Financial Service, Inc.’s (“Western Union”) Money Transfer Service Terms and Conditions (“Terms and Conditions”) provide that Western Union has the right to refuse service to anyone. We have reviewed the information you provided and have made a business decision to refuse and refund this transaction and any transactions you may attempt to send or receive in the future. This means Western Union will not accept any funds transmittal payments from you and will not pay out any funds transmittal payments to you (such transmittals will either be refused altogether, returned to the initiating party, or otherwise handled in accordance with applicable law).

Sincerely,

 

Compliance Department

 

 

 

 

I get it, theres other money services out there. But at this point it's a matter of principle and I'm pissed off.

 

My dad needs medicine, food, supplies... he is on a fixed income and unfit to work. And they've used some internal algorithm or some bullshit to figure out I'm a terrorist or something that shouldn't be allowed to send money? wtf bullshit is that?

 

 

Anyways I've responded and contacted sun media.

Edited January 22, 2014 by StephenG

solution : bitcoin

Who is sun media, if it's the local newspaper, good idea. Who could resist a son looks after ailing father getting shafted by big company story.