Write something random

  On 6/1/2019 at 11:05 PM, sweepstakes said:

tiddly widget succinctly stink until roger flower goat node bread mandible nestled bauer empire flint cinnamon helix betwixt mages mire vascular nipple gram jade lean limburger archaeopteryx plum plump penguin butterer buffer

please provide a trigger warning next time

you say

this

rootin' tootin' woodsy potty pennywhistle uranus boy

  On 6/1/2019 at 11:14 PM, sweepstakes said:

rootin' tootin' woodsy potty pennywhistle uranus boy

delete my watmm account please?

horseshoe crab blood drainage 

  On 6/1/2019 at 11:14 PM, Brisbot said:

delete my watmm account please?

cannot tell whether genuinely triggered and, if so, how

no i'm not triggered, lol. 

getting triggered over nothing would be random

WHAT? You give me a burger, I h8 burgers.

zomg I hate futurama. Just seeing the professor triggers me so.

although not a follower of David Koresh

  On 6/2/2019 at 12:51 AM, yekker said:

although not a follower of David Koresh

WAT

Do you think my body cpu could run faster if I changed out my blood vessels with fiber optics?

oh okay that's better. I like burgers when I have an even number of them, but hate them when I have an odd number of them. So I'm good now.

Two burgers are better than 2 of them

omg why would you guys give me another burger for a total of three?? Does WATMM not eat in evens?

  On 6/2/2019 at 1:10 AM, ambergonk said:

Two burgers are better than 2 of them

For sure. 'two' is 3 letters more than 1 number!

Beluga

Fill a jacuzzi with clam chowder and turn on the jets. Get in wearing some nice slacks and a cashmere turtleneck sweater. Hootie & The Blowfish blares from a Bluetooth speaker on the sink. A wine glass of Gatorade is within arms reach. Your wife walks in after a long day at work, expecting to talk about house hunting, the cat's next vet appointment, and trying a new diet together, but she drops her bags and travel mug instantly. Her expression turns from confusion, to anger, to a mischievous, rabid lust. “Skin my marmot”, she growls. “I am an ornery dolphin” you eagerly respond. When the FBI kicks in the door and sees the kitchen covered in snails, you will have already conceived The Child. The One who will liberate us from shitting indoors and breathing air for free. What has already been set in motion cannot be undone and the planets will move for his holiness occasionally for a fee 

  On 6/2/2019 at 7:44 AM, Candiru said:

Fill a jacuzzi with clam chowder and turn on the jets. Get in wearing some nice slacks and a cashmere turtleneck sweater. Hootie & The Blowfish blares from a Bluetooth speaker on the sink. A wine glass of Gatorade is within arms reach. Your wife walks in after a long day at work, expecting to talk about house hunting, the cat's next vet appointment, and trying a new diet together, but she drops her bags and travel mug instantly. Her expression turns from confusion, to anger, to a mischievous, rabid lust. “Skin my marmot”, she growls. “I am an ornery dolphin” you eagerly respond. When the FBI kicks in the door and sees the kitchen covered in snails, you will have already conceived The Child. The One who will liberate us from shitting indoors and breathing air for free. What has already been set in motion cannot be undone and the planets will move for his holiness occasionally for a fee 

Expand  

Mmmmmm... It does taste like chicken.

Born of Salty Sea Spunk! 

The Kraken crawled out of the deep sea drifts and lurched towards the shallows, with one gulp he swallowed the schooner and all its men and the massive cargo of rum and ale. Drunk he threw his foul beast onto the shore and blew a bounty of cum into a River Troll cunt and FishBeastMan was born! Within months after feeding from rock pools like bowls of watery soup FishBeastMan was sucking juice from limpits and anemones. The slithering and slathering soon became slobbering salivating for the livestock of the village. He could smell the chickens, pigs and ducks, even their farmyard  shit smelt delicious! The sleepy village would soon face the fucking furious appetite of FishBeastMan!

Howard Stern interviewed Smashing Pumpkins members Billy Corgan, James Iha, and Jimmy Chamberlin last year, and he even featured an interesting conversation he had with Corgan about seeing a shapeshifter in his fantastic new book Howard Stern Comes Again.

Billy: I have had paranormal experiences in my life.

Howard: What happened to you?

Billy: I can’t.

Howard: Were you abducted? What happened? I wanna know.

Billy: I’m turning red. I’m so embarrassed.

Howard: Don’t be embarrassed. Share.

Billy: Let’s just say I was with somebody once and I saw a transformation that I can’t explain.

Howard: The person transformed into something other than human.

Billy: Yes. I saw it.

Robin: Were you on drugs?

Billy: I was not. I was totally sober.

Howard: You were talking to someone. You were having a conversation like we are now. And the person said to you, “Look, something’s gonna happen here. I’m gonna morph into something else.” And you’re like, “This is ridiculous.”

Billy: That’s not how it happened. Imagine you’re doing something and you turn around and there’s somebody else standing there.

Howard: A different human.

Billy: Sort of. It’s hard to explain without going into detail. I’d rather not go into detail.

Howard: Okay, but did you say to the person, “What’d you just do here?”

Billy: Yes. And they acknowledged it.

Howard: And what did they say they were? From another planet?

Billy: They wouldn’t explain.

Howard: Billy, I’ve had that happen with a woman once. She took her makeup off and I didn’t know who the fuck she was. She really tricked me. Wow—

2, 4, 6, 8..... 2, 4, 6, 8.

Ah, I feel so much better now.

I have a beard

Chocolate and crisps don't always contribute to being overweight...

apple is asking a 1000$, yes a t.h.o.u.s.a.n.d. bucks for a monitor stand for the new XDR monitor that comes with the new Mac Pro.

By far, the most aggressive of the lamplights are the green ones, which are known for their razor sharp wigs of steel...

When you take your cheesy bread out of the toaster, it is frozen. When you put it back in and turn it on, the sky darkens, a bird hits your window and dies. When you go outside to look at it, maybe bury it in your garden, it is gone and your garden turns into a pile of broken, shimmering glass that illuminates a circle that reaches you. Dogs howl from an unspecific location and an old radio begins playing Frank Sinatra from somewhere maybe 30 meters away. You go back inside your house and the ice has encased your toaster. Time to start that keto diet you fucking nerd. 

I love turtles