depression

I'm quite a lot happier now that I've dropped video games a lot and do more art work and daily excercise. Excercise releases happy chemicals so it makes sense. Just fuck video games for a while. Maybe the VR stuff will bring me properly into it again but that will be a sad day.

  On 4/7/2014 at 10:06 PM, autopilot said:

absolutely. trips basically serve as a "level up", to use a videogame metaphor, and the life i lead afterward each one is always one of increased self-awareness, lucidity, and present mindfulness.

 

granted set & setting is key tho, if you're fucking with psychedelics at a black metal concert or while watching the walking dead you're not going to get anything out of it but nightmares.

Yap, very true.

This winter my beloved dog died, I started working 12 hour night shifts and moved to a new city. The lack of sleep made me lose my appetite, I started smoking cigs again and wasn't excercising. My weird hours made for very little social contact outside work while I was adjusting to this shit.

As it turns out this is a recipe for disaster and I have crashed and burned many times. It feels like old wounds are reopening. But I joined the gym again because I figure if I can look ridiculously good + endorphins life will grant me endless sexual favors and end depression and cause world peace

that is a lot of shit to take on at once, Candiru. godspeed.

I would estimate soley based on my limited perspective and feelings that the vast majority of depression is based on biological problems that can be fixed just by understanding the state of your body monitoring it and then taking necessary steps to fix it.

  On 4/9/2014 at 4:22 AM, Candiru said:

This winter my beloved dog died, I started working 12 hour night shifts and moved to a new city. The lack of sleep made me lose my appetite, I started smoking cigs again and wasn't excercising. My weird hours made for very little social contact outside work while I was adjusting to this shit.

 

As it turns out this is a recipe for disaster and I have crashed and burned many times. It feels like old wounds are reopening. But I joined the gym again because I figure if I can look ridiculously good + endorphins life will grant me endless sexual favors and end depression and cause world peace

I'm in a similar boat. I know how you feel.

Working out is good for you though, I really recommend you stay on that path but do it for the right reasons (your health, your longevity... not sexual favours... sexual favours happen after the fact; sex happens when women see you're happy and healthy and are emanating endorphins...)

I hope you get better. Here to chat if you want (I'm going through a really bad cycle, really deep depression this time... ).

For the first time in a long while I'm getting nervous to the point of panic while simultaneously not being suicidal.

Baby steps.

Oh word up stephenG. I think I don't so well in general with zero exercise, it's not really about girls, but it helps that they notice. I like the unfuckwithable feeling of getting stronger with benches, squats, deadlifts, etc. and it makes you happier. And when you're happy, lots of other things fall right into place. I also think it's the only way to balance my energy with this night shift craziness. I was really isolated from my friends for a while but I just couldn't leave my room.

We also had an extra long winter here in Massachusetts. That plus having to sleep during the day was quite bleak. As soon as I felt some real sunlight and warmth I felt like a plant coming back to life.

No one does well with zero exercise.

About sun exposure fucking up your body:

Vitamin D isn’t just the most important supplement – it is possibly the most important biohack. Vitamin D acts on over 1000 different genes and serves as a substrate for sex hormones like testosterone, human growth hormone, and estrogen. It moderates immune function and inflammation. It assists in calcium metabolism and bone formation. It’s no coincidence this is one of the few vitamins humans can make on their own. Without it – we’d be dead. It’s true that you can get adequate vitamin D from sun exposure, but for non-nudist non-equatorial dwellers it’s not enough. If you’re getting adequate vitamin A, it’s almost impossible to overdose on D.

If you want to optimize your sleep or train your body to accept a reverse sleep schedule check these out.

http://www.bulletproofexec.com/improve-your-sleep/

http://www.askmen.com/sports/health/hack-your-brain-with-light.html

i have a fucking dilemma. i dont know what to do!.. I was depressed, with anxiety..Ive had life long OCD. Not the normal kind. pure form. went to GP. things are great, transferred to local therapist who talks to me for about an hour and i should get a psych doc to help me with my meds. thats normal.

What's not normal is i live in a small town. have few friends, have girls interested in me at the local grocery store. Im shy as shit, blah blah , etc. in short, Im a mystery man.

This therapist office has a girl at the desk who is friends with people in that store. I was very firm about my privacy in this office. I wanted everything confidential between me and my therapist

BUT ive noticed the fucking walls are paper thin and you can hear everything. I noticed that girl standing near the therapists wall when i left the room. Then i noticed different behavior with the people at the local grocery store. Im almost absolutely convinced that this receptionist has gossiped about what she over heard me say in my therapy sessions. (which out of context is meaningless!).

Im so angry that i almost want to sue their pants off. I just dont know how to prove it!

i have an idea next time you go in for a therapy session, just tell a fake but convincing story about how you don't know what to do because your dick is so big and shaped perfectly that it makes any girl cum instantly. And then throw in some emo shit like you'd prefer to be loved instead of being treated like a sex toy by any female you encounter. edit: It might also help to describe in detail how you have an unhealthy addiction to cunnilingus

lol Or just talk about how your dick is so big that you have trouble keeping a girlfriend because they always complain or some shit. Good idea though.

very helpful comment. hilarious. glad you are here. (hires lawyer, im serious) not fun. not a good thing

ok serious answer, I would bring this up the first thing the next time you sit down for therapy, and specifically request that something be done to the audio ambiance of the office so that people outside can't hear your session. Does this therapy office have one of those white noise generators? Usually those compensate for thin walls in those situations, but at the very least this receptionist or whatever should probably be fired if she is indeed listening in on your sessions

good point on noise generator. why they dont have one is beyond me. the damage is done tho. its beyond a simple firing for me. client patient privilege has been compromised. thanks for the reply

  On 4/12/2014 at 4:25 AM, marf said:

good point on noise generator. why they dont have one is beyond me. the damage is done tho. its beyond a simple firing for me. client patient privilege has been compromised. thanks for the reply

If you intelligently make conversation with your co-workers I'm sure you could get information from them that would indicate a higher level of knowledge about your personal affairs than they should have. This could be discovered by judging their reactions about things. The key is to approach it with the right line of conversation and to study them when you are talking. It's hard to be precise when you aren't elaborating, but I understand that.

still the most important adivice for drunk depression

Without reading all the posts, I'll tell you what I know from my own personal experience...

My mother has had clinical depression for 25 years. I've grown up around it, and I know it well. I was in denial about my own depressed state for most of last year. Everything in 2013 culimated for me on 2nd January this year (a LONG story cut short), I woke up crying. I didnt speak to me wife, I just went straight to the doctors as I knew I HAD to this time.

She prescribed me with Citalopram (20mg, which is a standard dosage in the UK). Initially I felt like I was fucked on e, I called my doctor and she said it would pass in a few days. It did. I started to feel a bit better, but I couldn't handle work (I am a Project Implementation Manager for a large retail bank). They gave me "as much time off as you need".

I have been off for 9 weeks. I returned to work this week. Things are OK, but it's been a slow start. Getting back into music has helped me a lot.

My son is 3 and is autistic and I struggled with the diagnosis at first, also my wife in 2013 had a "boardline Tumor" removed and we had another baby (which is GREAT, but still a lot of stress when you don't 'feel right').

What I am saying is that, you need some time to relax. I went on holiday (for example). The tablets help, but they are not a cure and you need to put the effort in yourself.

I am booked for Person-Centred Counselling. I didn't want CBT, as that tends to deal with the 'here and now, and the future', I need to deal with my past. Also, I practice Buddhism, with is kinda like CBT. I'm not preaching, I'm just saying thats another reason why I asked for person-centred counselling rather than CBT, because I kinda already to that myself.

I hope this helps, somehow.

Don't feel ashamed. Go to your doctor. Get real advice from them. Take good care of your diet and do some exercise (if you are able).

PLEASE take good care of yourself buddy. You deserve to be happy.

Kyo.

  On 4/12/2014 at 10:10 AM, KyoAcid said:

Without reading all the posts, I'll tell you what I know from my own personal experience...

 

My mother has had clinical depression for 25 years. I've grown up around it, and I know it well. I was in denial about my own depressed state for most of last year. Everything in 2013 culimated for me on 2nd January this year (a LONG story cut short), I woke up crying. I didnt speak to me wife, I just went straight to the doctors as I knew I HAD to this time.

 

...I need to deal with my past...

 

Kyo.

Thanks for the story Kyo.

When I read something like this, I think it's awkward that doctors go so fast for prescribing drugs. Because the way I read it, you waking up crying might have been exactly what you needed. To me it reads like a sign that your past is finally catching up to you and you are getting ready to emotionally deal with it. Growing up with a clinically depressed mother is a lot to cope with as a kid. There might be a huge hidden sense of loss down there, which comes free when realising that because of her condition you didn't get your needs met as a kid.

IMO, the only thing those pills do is covering up exactly those emotions you need to deal with.

I'm not sure whether you see it this way, but waking up crying can be a good thing. Underneath is a (emotional) realisation. Conscious or subconscious.

I understand. And I agree, completely. However (and it's a big however) I felt I needed to 'soften' the emotions at that time so I could handle daily life. I'm booked to see a counsellor, and the drugs are a short term deal (around 6 months). I am having check-ups every 3 weeks and I feel really supported by my GP, family n friends and at work. It was the right choice for me, and I am only sharing my experience. It MIGHT not be for everyone. All cases are different.

I just hope I can give hope to others, as depression and anxiety can be soul destroying.

I totally get you though buddy, really I do.

:-)

Kyo

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Yes, support is key and it looks like you're in a safe position.

I hope I didn't gave off too strong a warning to not use prescribed drugs, or anything. I just wanted to make sure you understood the opportunity you were given by waking up like a mess like that. And thankfully it looks like you do.

Good luck on your journey.

I have to admit I'm a bit allergic to prescribed psychopharmaca because of my 6years old nephew who's already on ADHD medication. Which is just madness. But the teachers are OK with it, because he's more silent in class and the doctors can only give therapy if they also prescribe drugs. And his parents are OK as well, because the ADHD diagnosis comes with a bit of budget which can pay for the extra care.

Completely stupid. His hope is being diagnosed with dyslexia, btw. He can go to a different class en get more personal care in class. And he can get off the medication. There are numerous cases here where the effect of more personal coaching in class helped wonders. But pills seem less expensive than coaching...in the short run.

o these personal grapes

I've heard real bad things about Ritalin and co. Are you in the states? Kids tend not to get drugs first off in the UK. If you are in the UK I'd say that was quite unusual.

Support first, drugs second only after careful consideration. A combination of both CAN be good.

I wasn't clear in my original message about my doctor. She gave me drugs ONLY after I insisted. It's because I had a good idea of what I am dealing with that I asked for them. She offered CBT first, which I knocked backed for reasons I gave in my previous post. I also mentioned my son has Autism. Thankfully we got a diagnosis real early (before he was 3 years old), but it solely because my wife and I fought for it. Otherwise he may have been given drugs.

If people are not educated about these things then it's VERY difficult to get the right level and right type of care.

Kyo

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Not the states. Netherlands.

On a sidenote, some recent study about the effects of antidepressents on kids (up to 24):

"Double risk of suicide"

https://archinte.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?articleid=1863925

  Quote

 

 

The rate of deliberate self-harm among children and adults 24 years of age or younger who initiated high-dose therapy was approximately twice as high as among matched patients initiating modal-dose therapy

  Quote

Children and young adults initiating therapy with antidepressants at high-therapeutic (rather than modal-therapeutic) doses seem to be at heightened risk of deliberate self-harm. Considered in light of recent meta-analyses concluding that the efficacy of antidepressant therapy for youth seems to be modest, and separate evidence that antidepressant dose is generally unrelated to therapeutic efficacy, our findings offer clinicians an additional incentive to avoid initiating pharmacotherapy at high-therapeutic doses and to closely monitor patients starting antidepressants, especially youth, for several months.

Quite a cynical outcome for a treatment against depression.

Day by day I gain more of a distaste for SSRIs.

I am feeling extremely isolated and afraid. I have more xanax leftover but they're an easy way out so I am trying not to take anymore today.

I have a pack of paroxetine (paxil) but don't want to take that again.

I just feel like fucking shit and I hate it.