depression

I just started on my first course of SSRIs (Lexapro). I'm feeling hopeful actually. I specifically requested no Paxil due to the stories I've heard from friends.

Fiz if you hate your meds it might be worth trying something else. It's too soon to report on mine but I'll check back in in a month or so.

  On 7/9/2014 at 3:31 PM, Mesh Gear Fox said:

I've been sleep deprived and everything feels like a depressing nightmare. I'd kill for some valium or xanax just to help me calm down at night. shit is the worst.

sorry mesh :(

hope you feel better soon too

we're a fucking mess i guess

  On 7/9/2014 at 3:48 PM, A/D said:

I just started on my first course of SSRIs (Lexapro). I'm feeling hopeful actually. I specifically requested no Paxil due to the stories I've heard from friends.

 

Fiz if you hate your meds it might be worth trying something else. It's too soon to report on mine but I'll check back in in a month or so.

Hmm, Lexapro huh? My depression mostly is the result of my struggle with bad social anxiety and acne.. Paxil is appealing in that it works well for social anxiety sometimes but like you it just sounds like a rough time when going wrong..

Let me know how Lexapro goes for you!

  On 4/12/2014 at 10:10 AM, KyoAcid said:

Also, I practice Buddhism, with is kinda like CBT. I'm not preaching, I'm just saying thats another reason why I asked for person-centred counselling rather than CBT, because I kinda already to that myself.

Big ups.. I try to get on the cushion an hour every day, and read something by the old zen masters..

“Fully appreciate the emptiness of all phenomena. Then all minds are free and all dusts evaporate in the original brilliance shining everywhere.…" - Hongzhi

I woke up yesterday talking to god with donuts around my dick. Ever since, I've been seeing apparitions of my dead dog, telling me to cannibalize my co-workers in a malevolent fever dream with my eyes all red and my mouth foaming. Crows follow me at night in a flock above my head. When I recognize people in public, I step sideways into a portal and masturbate furiously while I people watch. I keep eels in my bathtub. Nobody disrespects my grind or they get they wig flipped.

  On 7/9/2014 at 3:55 PM, chim said:

 

  On 4/12/2014 at 10:10 AM, KyoAcid said:

Also, I practice Buddhism, with is kinda like CBT. I'm not preaching, I'm just saying thats another reason why I asked for person-centred counselling rather than CBT, because I kinda already to that myself.

 

Big ups.. I try to get on the cushion an hour every day, and read something by the old zen masters..

 

“Fully appreciate the emptiness of all phenomena. Then all minds are free and all dusts evaporate in the original brilliance shining everywhere.…" - Hongzhi

 

I like your centernode music dude!

Just ate 20 mg paxil again.. fucking shit.

  On 7/9/2014 at 4:08 PM, Candiru said:

I woke up yesterday talking to god with donuts around my dick. Ever since, I've been seeing apparitions of my dead dog, telling me to cannibalize my co-workers in a malevolent fever dream with my eyes all red and my mouth foaming. Crows follow me at night in a flock above my head. When I recognize people in public, I step sideways into a portal and masturbate furiously while I people watch. I keep eels in my bathtub. Nobody disrespects my grind or they get they wig flipped.

  On 7/9/2014 at 4:08 PM, Candiru said:

I woke up yesterday talking to god with donuts around my dick. Ever since, I've been seeing apparitions of my dead dog, telling me to cannibalize my co-workers in a malevolent fever dream with my eyes all red and my mouth foaming. Crows follow me at night in a flock above my head. When I recognize people in public, I step sideways into a portal and masturbate furiously while I people watch. I keep eels in my bathtub. Nobody disrespects my grind or they get they wig flipped.

27 currently. Just in a rough spot in my life and trying to make it work. Depression usually ebbs and flows but I primarily battle intense waves anxiety. Hit a mega low this morning and i'm digging my way out of it.

It's like a fucked up game. It's easy to default into helpless thoughts, but can kind of muster up the rhythm to keep in positive spirit. After a bit it sticks and you just roll with it, but being lonely, broke, without work still, having pain, and living at home still wants to drag me under.

That's good to know. Yeah, that resilience would be nice, just hardening up. Going to keep pressing on I guess.

  On 7/9/2014 at 4:08 PM, Candiru said:

I woke up yesterday talking to god with donuts around my dick. Ever since, I've been seeing apparitions of my dead dog, telling me to cannibalize my co-workers in a malevolent fever dream with my eyes all red and my mouth foaming. Crows follow me at night in a flock above my head. When I recognize people in public, I step sideways into a portal and masturbate furiously while I people watch. I keep eels in my bathtub. Nobody disrespects my grind or they get they wig flipped.

You need to get more vitamin D.

by which you mean vitamin datura

Im starting to think legal MJ would be a cure for my depression. All the therapeutic benefits without the paranoia and illegality. One day..

  On 7/9/2014 at 10:48 PM, M360 said:

Im starting to think legal MJ would be a cure for my depression. All the therapeutic benefits without the paranoia and illegality. One day..

It certainly fucking helps, and it makes me angry that this isn't the reality already because some prudes can't get over the stigma.

Perhaps less useful when abused, but sometimes when life just feels like shit it's a beautiful thing to have a smoke and just fade out for a while.

It's helped me in the past but it doesn't work consistently enough to view it as a long term option for me. Though I'd really like to try a CBD tincture before bed or something and see if that works.

I saw, the other day, CBD vape oils. Dont know if you can use it with a standard ecig or not. Intrigued by it but would rather smoke/ingest the real deal

  On 7/10/2014 at 12:04 AM, M360 said:

I saw, the other day, CBD vape oils. Dont know if you can use it with a standard ecig or not. Intrigued by it but would rather smoke/ingest the real deal

lol at the real deal

I was always "that white guy" at drug exchanges. Might explain it

I take vitamin d supplements, I smoke the real deal. I just wanna know why god chooses to punish me with visions of plagues, crop failures, famine, invading armies and my head on a stick.

  On 7/10/2014 at 12:22 AM, Candiru said:

I take vitamin d supplements, I smoke the real deal. I just wanna know why god chooses to punish me with visions of plagues, crop failures, famine, invading armies and my head on a stick.

Youre a chosen one. Be wary of attempting to fulfill your quests as it may lead to a constant state of death

Depression is being trapped in the idiot realm of the Aphex Twin subforum (It's now just the same 5 people posting, it's woeful, ghastly)

  On 7/10/2014 at 1:00 AM, Schlitze said:

Depression is being trapped in the idiot realm of the Aphex Twin subforum (It's now just the same 5 people posting, it's woeful, ghastly)

lol

embrace the madness friend

  On 7/9/2014 at 3:48 PM, A/D said:

I just started on my first course of SSRIs (Lexapro). I'm feeling hopeful actually.

dude, I just started Lexapro as well. been taking them for a little over two weeks now.

I was on the fence about it for a long time, adamant that I wouldn't go anywhere near SSRIs. but I've been in a very bad place lately and my psych, observing from her neutral point of view, assessed that I was getting to the point where it would be professionally negligent of her not to suggest trying them. so I went to a doc, got assessed by him, was deemed eligible, got a prescription, and let that script sit on my desk for a few days.

then I had some really bad mornings where I felt I was on the verge of doing something really drastic. one Sunday morning in particular, when I just went down to the park and was in the blackest mood ever. I passed the pharmacy on the way home, saw it was open, and thought "what the fuck, I have to do something". so I went in there with the script and bought them. started taking them the next evening.

I experienced side-effects the first two nights I took them. nausea, stomach upsets, and what they call "drowsiness" which is actually just spaced-ness, i.e. feeling a real distance between the real world and you. things happen and it takes a moment for it to cut through that distance and get to you. anyway, all that stopped shortly. now I can't really tell the effect. I do feel like it's creating a wall between me and my mood though. like I'll still have bad thoughts, but they don't turn into bad feelings, there's a chemical block in between.

I'm not getting that euphoric, energised feeling that some people have reported (lumpy, iirc, who also tried them).

I have enough to last me another couple weeks, then it's back to the doc to reassess and (probably) continue.

  On 7/9/2014 at 4:19 PM, fiznuthian said:

Just ate 20 mg paxil again.. fucking shit.

what's your beef with paxil?