a socialist, an illegal immigrant, and a muslim walk into a bar

an irishman walks out of a bar

  On 10/18/2012 at 1:06 PM, LUDD said:

  On 10/18/2012 at 11:45 AM, feltcher said:

an englishman, irishman and welshman walk into a bar.

The scotsman is not invited as it was his choice to vote for independence and as such he is no longer allowed into the rest of the uk without a passport.

 

The Irish man is not from the UK either

  On 10/18/2012 at 1:35 PM, Smettingham Rutherford IV said:

an irishman walks out of a bar

lol

An Irishman walks past a bar.

and into my mouth...

A man walks into the bar and orders 5 shots of tequila

He begins to down them one by one rather quickly

"What's the occasion?" asks the bartender

"My first blowjob" says the man

"Oh, well in that case have one on the house" the bartender says

"Thanks, but if the first 5 don't kill the taste I don't think the 6th will help" says the man.

  On 10/18/2012 at 1:06 PM, LUDD said:

  On 10/18/2012 at 11:45 AM, feltcher said:

an englishman, northern-irishman and welshman walk into a bar.

The scotsman is not invited as it was his choice to vote for independence and as such he is no longer allowed into the rest of the uk without a passport.

 

The Irish man is not from the UK either

fixed.

The Irishman stays at home and drinks potcheen.

A man walks into a bar and says "I just got back from the battered woman's shelter, and boy are my arms tired" Everyone laughed. The man sat at the end of the bar drinking alone. He was proud of the fine craftsmanship of the shelves he put up in the shelter's pantry, regardless of what others may think.

lol

a vague, undefined archetype transmutes

A railroad construction foreman walks into a bar.

It pierces his skull and destroys much of his frontal lobe, and although his survival is deemed miraculous, his personality is altered to the extent that his friends and family feel that he has become a different person.

  On 10/18/2012 at 5:31 PM, ghOsty said:

 

A man walks into a bar and says "I just got back from the battered woman's shelter, and boy are my arms tired" Everyone laughed. The man sat at the end of the bar drinking alone. He was proud of the fine craftsmanship of the shelves he put up in the shelter's pantry, regardless of what others may think.

lol

  On 10/18/2012 at 7:17 PM, baph said:

A railroad construction foreman walks into a bar.

It pierces his skull and destroys much of his frontal lobe, and although his survival is deemed miraculous, his personality is altered to the extent that his friends and family feel that he has become a different person.

lol

A dyslexic man walks into a bra...

An actual piece of human shit walks into a bar.

And everyone in the bar starts screaming "eww gross, it's a walking piece of shit!"

BCM walks into a bar

Takes a picture of himself shitting in their loo, puts on a suit and goes to work hungover.

a guy balks into a war

he got shot

A guy walks into a bar.

"Help," he cries, "I've been in an accident! My wife is unconscious and bleeding profusely! Please help!"

The bartender is a donkey and is unable to assist.

lol

  On 10/18/2012 at 4:56 PM, ghOsty said:

A man walks into the bar and orders 5 shots of tequila

He begins to down them one by one rather quickly

"What's the occasion?" asks the bartender

"My first blowjob" says the man

"Oh, well in that case have one on the house" the bartender says

"Thanks, but if the first 5 don't kill the taste I don't think the 6th will help" says the man.

bahahahahaha that got a big gut laugh out of me.

can we pin this as a jokes thread? i love this kind of stuff.

socialist?

I'm probably gonna get in trouble for this one but here goes...

A man walks into the bar and orders a beer

After a short time he notices the most beautiful woman he's ever seen

After working up the nerves, he approaches her and strikes up a conversation

Things are going quite well when the man makes a bold proposition...

"I bet you $50 I can make you cum, without even touching you"

The woman is shocked at first, but intrigued by the mans claim "you're on" she says

Immediately the man lifts her on the table, hikes her skirt up and has his way with her.

The sex is great and the woman comes, but replies "You said you wouldn't have to touch me..."

"You're right, here's $50" says the man, and he slaps a bill on the table and walks out the door with a smile.

lol

yessss pin the joke thread plz plz more jokes

a man walks to his local bar but it has closed down due to the recession so he goes home again.

Gotta be honest OP joke made me lol.

All of these are great, but the specific one I love is at 2:15

http://youtu.be/9C7cv0MueB0