a socialist, an illegal immigrant, and a muslim walk into a bar

My girlfriend says to me "Fuck me 8 inches and hurt me." So I fucked her twice and punched her in the nose.

NZT walks into a bar & plays on by afx twins on the jukebox

it's d scape mix

what a real sticky situation

molten titanium.

Skrillex walks into a bar.

The bartender is a convicted pedophile.

The End

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants.

The bartender says: 'You know you've got a steering wheel in your pants?'

The pirate replies: 'Y'arrr, it's driving me nuts!'

lol

  On 10/17/2012 at 7:51 PM, BCM said:

gotta love bernard righton... didn't find the OP joke funny though, sorry.

i thought we were friends???? ):

  On 10/17/2012 at 8:49 PM, Cryptowen said:

a horse walks into a bar

he says i would like some juice please

what'll it be sarah jessica parker

I love you, No Don't :(

why does that signature make me laugh so hard

  On 10/20/2012 at 5:32 PM, ussr said:

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants.

The bartender says: 'You know you've got a steering wheel in your pants?'

The pirate replies: 'Y'arrr, it's driving me nuts!'

A+

im not saying shes a horse literally just uhhh

<marquee>you be the judge</marquee>

  On 10/25/2012 at 11:22 PM, No Don said:

  On 10/17/2012 at 7:51 PM, BCM said:

gotta love bernard righton... didn't find the OP joke funny though, sorry.

 

i thought we were friends???? ):

nothing personal! you're still my girl.

Why doesn't Sonic the Hedgehog run anymore?

The gif's moving for me.

  On 10/26/2012 at 11:48 AM, LUDD said:

Why doesn't Sonic the Hedgehog run anymore?

I don't know. Why doesn't Sonic the Hedgehog run anymore?

  On 10/26/2012 at 1:18 PM, BCM said:

  On 10/26/2012 at 11:48 AM, LUDD said:

Why doesn't Sonic the Hedgehog run anymore?

 

I don't know. Why doesn't Sonic the Hedgehog run anymore?

Years of long distance running over the course of his award winning platform series for SEGA has resulted in permanent cartilage damage and osteoarthritis.

  On 10/26/2012 at 1:18 PM, BCM said:

  On 10/26/2012 at 11:48 AM, LUDD said:

Why doesn't Sonic the Hedgehog run anymore?

 

I don't know. Why doesn't Sonic the Hedgehog run anymore?

http://info.sonicretro.org/Sonic_2_XL

  On 10/26/2012 at 1:18 PM, BCM said:

  On 10/26/2012 at 11:48 AM, LUDD said:

Why doesn't Sonic the Hedgehog run anymore?

 

I don't know. Why doesn't Sonic the Hedgehog run anymore?

Because he realized he's a hedgehog

A secret agent walks into a bar. He looks around, carefully examining each patron. Eventually he spots a shady character sitting alone in a dark, secluded corner. The agent walks over to him, sits down and without speaking slides a black suitcase toward him. He in return reaches into his trench-coat and pulls out an envelope.

As the envelope is being passed across to the agent, a third man appears seemingly out of nowhere and snatches it. Too stunned to react, they can only watch as the thief, who has pure white hair and un-ironed clothing, escapes while intermittently skipping like a school-girl.

"Hey!!" Screams the agent, "Why on Earth would you want top-secret documents detailing Mitt Romney's hair coloration therapy?!!"

"Because I happen to believe in something called justice, you murderers!!" Replies the mysterious man as he disappears into the night.

  On 10/26/2012 at 1:38 PM, mcbpete said:

  On 10/26/2012 at 1:18 PM, BCM said:

  On 10/26/2012 at 11:48 AM, LUDD said:

Why doesn't Sonic the Hedgehog run anymore?

 

I don't know. Why doesn't Sonic the Hedgehog run anymore?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGKeFd4MKqE

 

http://info.sonicretro.org/Sonic_2_XL

That is awesome.

i walk into a bar.

"lush"

and it hurt.

a black man walks into a bar and orders a drink, a white man walks into a bar and the bartender says to the black man "who are you". the black man says "george" the white man orders a drink, the black man asks the bartender "your name?", the white man asks "whats your name" the black man responds "george, whats your name" the bartender gives the white man his drink moments later the white man asks "jon put the sports game on" the black man interjects and says "I like the silence" the bartender agrees and the white man frowns. he takes out his pistol and says "you turn that fucking tv on right now or I'll use it, I will!" the bartender turns on the tv to the sports game. the white man smiles. "george, I want to buy you a drink for this" george looks over, "its ok, I was leaving anyway" he gets up and leaves. the white man says the bartender "jeez people these days, no ones friendly anymore."