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  On 12/17/2021 at 9:28 AM, beerwolf said:

I do sometimes think I glide close to territory that makes me wonder if I’m some jibbering alcoholic ? 

(actually I did go to an AA meeting once about 10 years ago, and I realised real quick that I wasn’t an alcoholic, these guys were in an entirely different league to me. I got the impression that one sip of the wine and then next thing they’d  wake up in a ditch 3 days later having left a trail of destruction behind them that they had no recollection about) 

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relatable. I think everyone that is a drinker has questioned this at some point. if we all went by the textbook definition of alcoholic (you know the more than 2 drinks per day for men or whatever it is), then I'd say the world is overflowing with them. if you are drinking first thing in the morning, constantly getting in angry drunk fights, or any of the stuff described in the AA meeting circles, then yeah, it's a problem. I too have encountered people like this in the real world, and makes me realize they're playing in a whole different drinking league than the one I participate in. 

  On 12/17/2021 at 4:59 PM, zero said:

relatable. I think everyone that is a drinker has questioned this at some point. if we all went by the textbook definition of alcoholic (you know the more than 2 drinks per day for men or whatever it is), then I'd say the world is overflowing with them. if you are drinking first thing in the morning, constantly getting in angry drunk fights, or any of the stuff described in the AA meeting circles, then yeah, it's a problem. I too have encountered people like this in the real world, and makes me realize they're playing in a whole different drinking league than the one I participate in. 

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Thanks for the reply zero. Even though I have been here many years I sometimes have second thoughts about posting real personal stuff, your response was perfect. 

I tell the AA story to a lot of people. It’s not rocket science to folks I like a drink, so it’s hardly a mystery, and the whole evening was quite hilarious for me (though probably not for those damaged souls) and actually was a great learning curve. I did come out the building with quite a precise perspective on my drinking, because before I walked through that door I had all this noise in my head (mainly broadcast from other people) about how I was some alcoholic. Another thing essential to consider is I work hard and always turn up, have a good diet and exercise like a beast, and don’t fall on the floor after a few beers, I think 8 pints of 5% beer and I may just start having a very slight swerve while walking to the gents.
 

Obviously there’s a lot more going on I could talk about but the nuts and bolts is the first half an hour one person stands up and tells their harrowing personal story (I’m sat there thinking, I have a few beers in the garden and crank up some tracks, or go for a bike ride down the river with my headphones in, or go down the pub for 5 pints and shoot the breeze about life, I don’t smash up the house, terrify my family and end up in a skip or gutter down the local high street like this dude) then there’s another half an hour when anyone can stand up and give thanks to the AA for saving their souls. Most of them looked and sounded really fucked up and traumatised. I’m sitting there thinking what the hell am I even doing here. The meeting was to finish at 9pm and I was looking at the clock and the hour hand swiftly approaching the 9 and I know I have to escape because they all know there’s someone new in their midst and I don’t want to be there at the end as the main attraction. I just force myself up with 10 minutes to go and walk through the sitting crowd and cross the hall and escape. I breathed in the fresh air of freedom and I walked straight to my local pub and ordered a pint of Guinness to celebrate the fact I knew I wasn’t an alcoholic and told the lads about it ? 

I do know I still drink too much though ?

Edited by beerwolf

gotta say that while these considerations on addiction may be personally meaningful, it is not a helpful way to define alcoholism. it’s simply not the case that being an alcoholic is restricted to severe, explosive and destructive behaviors. Many, probably most, alcoholics have a more subdued lifestyle and do not regularly indulge in raging benders. it’s totally common for alcoholics to be productive, go to work, live normal lives and stuff. 
 

on that note my FWS is nearing 6 years of sobriety ?

  On 12/17/2021 at 6:35 PM, Alcofribas said:

gotta say that while these considerations on addiction may be personally meaningful, it is not a helpful way to define alcoholism. it’s simply not the case that being an alcoholic is restricted to severe, explosive and destructive behaviors. Many, probably most, alcoholics have a more subdued lifestyle and do not regularly indulge in raging benders. it’s totally common for alcoholics to be productive, go to work, live normal lives and stuff. 
 

on that note my FWS is nearing 6 years of sobriety ?

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DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT MY DRINKING!!!!!!

 

kidding of course. yeah I can only go based on my personal experiences with the stuff. I know the stereotypical raging alcoholic train wreck doesn't apply to all cases, that many people struggling with alcoholism do so largely without making it a known thing. I'm sure just about everyone here has known someone, or has a personal example of how the booze has had a negative effect in their lives, and that it's common to compare your own drinking vs. that of others to be able to say "at least I'm not like that guy." I had a period some 15-ish years ago where I went through a dark period with alcohol. the main factor back then was a girl I was sort of dating who was drinking vodka for breakfast. it was actually more like drinking and fighting than dating, now I think of it. I was already a social drinker, but she helped amplify that to the next level. once she left the picture, it did take a minute for it to release its grip on me, but somehow was able to dial it back to "acceptable" levels. but yeah, I completely understand not everyone can fix themselves, and asking for help is not a sign of weakness at all. for me personally, I am not a fan of the hard stuff. not saying you can't be an alcoholic with beer/wine, but IMO vodka/whiskey are usually what you hear are the culprits when the worst shit happens.   

props on the 6 years. that is not easy, I'm sure.   

  • 3 weeks later...

Wooo, you can buy yourself a mansion (matchstick)

Some songs I made with my fingers and electronics. In the process of making some more. Hopefully.

 

  Reveal hidden contents

On 2's Day i.e. Tuesday 2022-02-22 our little man turns two.

It Doesn't Matter™
You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.
dcomμnications (WATMM blog, mostly about non-IDM releases, maybe something else, too.)

 

  • 2 weeks later...

It's 11 pm and I suddenly realize there's a parking ban (what with the incoming blizzard 'n all) AND my wife's car is still parked on the street.

So I find her keys, throw on my slides and go to move it.  Start the car and the radio (as in FM) is on, basically b/c my wife is a music simp and will admit as much.  Sound kicks on and it's "semi-charmed kind of life" by third eye blind. 

Instinctual at this point, no time to think.  Didn't even trust myself to shut off the radio properly, just parked that shit fast as I could in the driveway.  And by the grace of God, Robert A. Boobsa Dobblin managed to avoid the chorus entirely.

My entire smarthome now executes locally, meaning the internet can be out and I can do stuff like turn on the heating and stick some tunes on the big stereo without having to move from the sofa.

(My internet never actually goes out so it was all pointless, but    r e s i l i e n c e)

  • 2 weeks later...
  On 2/6/2022 at 12:26 PM, Dragon said:

i found a word that only returns one result on google.

 

 

what should i do now? i think this thing is worth money. should i auction it?

take a screenshot then nonfungible it. sit back and wait. watch as they will come to you. the bids will come in. 

  On 2/7/2022 at 4:04 PM, zero said:

take a screenshot then nonfungible it. sit back and wait. watch as they will come to you. the bids will come in. 

why don't i just put the word up in huge fucking neon lights in the center of the moon, and have a 13 year old on deviantArt pay for the juice.

edit: this is the most robotic, thoughtless post i've ever written. i'm ashamed of myself tbh

Edited by Dragon

Celebrated my 21st the other day and the weather was so nice. Sat outside in the sun at a cafe with my girlfreind for breakfast, watched the simpsons movie (masterpiece), went to an indie cinema then went out for a really nice dinner and spent the whole night at the bar with lots of friends - got lots of free shots and cigarettes from strangers too which was nice.

Got two weeks off uni and I walked out my flat today in a coat expecting it to be a little chilly but to my surprise it's sunny with no wind and 23 degrees (73F) right now in february of all months. God bless the south of france.

 

  • 2 weeks later...

Since new year I’ve cut my drinking by 50% which I guess is a really good thing. Saturday I had the grand total of three big bottles of Budvar, which is literally nothing compared to the old days. Sometimes I’ll just have a couple of Moscow Mules and that’s my lot. It’s a great feeling to know that I’m no longer a slave to something, being free and more human is a good vibe. I always had a faint fear that I was perhaps an alcoholic (I may of told the story of the time I went to an AA meeting, which was an eye opener and confirmation that I just had a bad habit rather than somebody who pours himself a treble scotch for breakfast). Anyway I’m quite proud of myself, so thought I’d share that ? 

Edited by beerwolf
  On 2/28/2022 at 7:34 PM, beerwolf said:

Since new year I’ve cut my drinking by 50% which I guess is a really good thing. Saturday I had the grand total of three big bottles of Budvar, which is literally nothing compared to the old days. Sometimes I’ll just have a couple of Moscow Mules and that’s my lot. It’s a great feeling to know that I’m no longer a slave to something, being free and more human is a good vibe. I always had a faint fear that I was perhaps an alcoholic (I may of told the story of the time I went to an AA meeting, which was an eye opener and confirmation that I just had a bad habit rather than somebody who pours himself a treble scotch for breakfast). Anyway I’m quite proud of myself, so thought I’d share that ? 

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Alcoholism doesnt always manifest in extreme ways like that.  The way it's diagnosed is subjective.  Basically, if you feel bad about drinking but you do it anyway then youre an alcoholic.

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