Help, I Urgently Need Advice!

I'm just amused that he didn't choose a cylindrical object bigger than a pencil for his metaphor.

  On 12/5/2015 at 1:36 AM, roasty said:

men don't realise they rape

Good point. With consent it isn't rape though. So next time, force her to sign a letter of consent and you're good to go. Also, don't be scared to have her sign more letters of consent each time you want to go "next level" with your meat pencil. You might need those later in court.

Guys guys...

I said *politely* stab her with my meat pencil

Obviously I want her consent

To *politely* ravage her innards with my flesh chainsaw

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"Eat on that Coochie, lay that bitch down like 'let's do it'" - Thugger

  On 12/5/2015 at 7:24 AM, doublename said:

"Eat on that Coochie, lay that bitch down like 'let's do it'" - Thugger

"She say she can do the same thing as 5 bitches

(So what you do?) I went and fired them 5 bitches." - Thugger Schopenhauer

Look

I'm just looking for a gentlemanly way

to 'Final Solution' her 'Anne Frank'

You know, nothing fancy

just to gently spray my 'Zyclon B' on her 'Chosen People'

(Fuck you Hitler you stupid idiot)

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Her 'Anne Frank'...you make it sound like you're into those unshaved forrests. Cus Anne don't do brazilians, yalls.

are you gonna tell us if you succeed or fail?

Knees weak

Palms sweaty

Meat pencil

Also, you guys, a girl wearing a short skirt is NOT a form of non-verbal consent!

Yeah, I saw you looking. And no you don't!

Be natural. If she does not like it, she is not for you and you have nothing else to do (too bad). If she likes it, good.

If you try to impress her by pretending something and she likes it there is a big chance the relationship will end as soon as she finds out your true personality (which does not matter that much if you only want to have sex with her).

fuk

fuk U I've had sex

Drank btw

link her to this thread

how was it? please tell us more!!! let us share in your experience of having sex!!!!! we want to know what its like!!!!!

  On 12/5/2015 at 8:45 AM, Jdub said:

are you gonna tell us if you succeed or fail?

[ ] stabbed

[ ] unstabbed

(New year's day I will return, quote this post, and put an 'X' in the appropriate place)

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I don't give a damn bout no dental dam

When she spread them legs I'm bout to go H.A.M

hmmm

i'm retiring to the dj khaled thread....

if she likes you, you'll know

if she wants you in the friend's zone, you also know

if she wants to cock tease, you'll find that out soon enough too

be prepared for all outcomes, i think all previous posters have covered alcohol and "what u doing after?" as prime movers although i think the whole tour plot in Europe is a tad excessive and questionable, given you just wanna ride.

love rarely begins with large doses of lies n bs, unless yer Bama n Putin currently shaking hands

Ergh, am I too late to contribute to this?

Just say "hey girl" like Ryan gosling ;) " I'm a feminist." coz you respect her equal rights to do the sex and like vote or whatever "Can I stab you with my meat pencil?" point to your crotch in case she doesn't know what the fuck you're talking about "PLEASE!!!" saying please makes it polite. Don't smile though as girls like tough guys and tough guys don't smile. If she looks confused just shout "BENIS AND BAGINA!!!" at her while frantically pointing at both your crotches then doing the finger in your other hands fingers thing (I can't describe it but it looks like the sex).

Failing that build her a "wanna fuck?" cake.

lol

stab her with your meat pencil?

misogynist

  On 1/4/2016 at 3:36 AM, MDM Chaos said:

" I'm a feminist."

Yeah show her that you're out of touch with the reality of modern western society and want to be even more of a wet towel than most humans already are for women

  On 1/4/2016 at 9:18 AM, Zeffolia said:

stab her with your meat pencil?

 

misogynist

  On 1/4/2016 at 3:36 AM, MDM Chaos said:

" I'm a feminist."

 

Yeah show her that you're out of touch with the reality of modern western society and want to be even more of a wet towel than most humans already are for women

haha! i see what you did there. very toplel m9.