Worthless Superpowers Thread

So Magneto is laughing at you, cause all you can do is change the color of your urine.

Or:

Whistle really loud but your own hearing would be damaged

Take huge steps all over earth, but only with one leg, so you'd always have to go back where you were in the first place.

The inability to get wet from water while bathing, taking a shower etc.

Go on drinking alcohol forever but never getting drunk

Modify the sound of your farts

teleport upto 1 ft away

x-ray vision through air only

EATING ICE CREAM BUT THE ICE CREAM TURNS INTO SPINAL POISONS

WTF

the ability to generate electricity

but only enough to make balloons stick to you

harness the elemental power of beef.

really bendy thumbs

ability to vary your own mass by +/- 10% at will

lol @ spinal poisons

The ability to read the minds of goldfish.

  Jonas said:

the ability to turn frogs into mongaloids.

OMG THAT@S RACIST

the ability to smell irony

the power to ejaculate in reverse, hoovering up your woman's juices til your balls are like a waterballoon full of lady grease.

i'm sure we've had this thread before, but i can't find it.

i believe my response last time was "the ability to post in this thread"

the power to instantly locate past similar threads

found it.

http://forum.watmm.com/index.php?showtopic=32987

  LOL Alzado said:

the power to ejaculate in reverse, hoovering up your woman's juices til your balls are like a waterballoon full of lady grease.

megalol

the ability to see aphex twin songs in colour

kicking the teeth right fukin in, right into the gu and yoy go fackk thqtw such a fucking boot in the mouth thats an ability when his fuookin gujm explodew an is brains cum out is nozse likla cum shot on tv that was the fucking ability to fucking power it iint

  Jac Y Jymper said:

kicking the teeth right fukin in, right into the gu and yoy go fackk thqtw such a fucking boot in the mouth thats an ability when his fuookin gujm explodew an is brains cum out is nozse likla cum shot on tv that was the fucking ability to fucking power it iint

good point, well made

  plisb said:

Modify the sound of your farts

i hardly think that qualifies as "worthless", plisb

the ability to become a two-dimensional, 8-bit pixelised version of myself

the ability to do reeeeeeeally big shits, like bigger than the shits that normal people do.

the ability to turn red traffic lights green just by staring at them for a couple of minutes

Ability to breathe underwater, but it must be tap water

The ability to accuse users without being banned.