Worthless Superpowers Thread

The ability to regenerate a damaged appendix at will.

being able to send letters to anywhere via internet tubes when you've got no envelopes and stamps and without having to leave the house to post it

  Pennywise said:

  LUDD said:

  Pennywise said:

the ability to turn twigs into money after having sex with sandpaper for a few hours

 

 

trying too hard

 

oh really, thanks for that.

np

i didn't think about that properly because that's quite useful

edit: sorry about this, i'll think of one in the morning

edit2: however it is worthless to me because i never send letters

The ability to be the best poster on an internet forum.

the ability to delete your watmm posts when deleting your posts is considered abuse of the delete post feature

i might get in trouble for the amount of edits i just performed

The power to be invisible to snails.

i might get in trouble for deleting the post between your last two

the ability to locate ugly girls around the globe

Ability to grow a sparse and patchy beard instantly upon demand

the ability to turn off an erection but not on

THE POWER OF HEART

The ability to think up worthless super powers in an instant.

askjeeves.com

  pantsonmyhead said:

askjeeves.com

RIP Jeeves

I miss you

The ability to askjeeves any question you want

the ability to see through mrs kipling's bumhole

the ability to send mail on sunday

The power to make coffee lukewarm.

transform into a used tampon.

the ability to make your own 5x13.5 sheets of paper

fart breath

The ability to change from an innie to an outie and back at will.

The ability to move your fingers sideways 90 degrees