Worthless Superpowers Thread

right can i subtract that?

Razor sharp pubic hair

The ability to turn grape pop from purple to orange, but the flavor stays grape.

The ability to see into the future but only by 1/1^38 of a second

The ability to slow the speed of household composting. Only applicable to small household size compost bins.

censored x-ray vision

having a heightened sense of taste

being able to speak at frequencies inaudible to any living being.

walking fast and slow at the same time.

The ability to rust metal just by touching it. Happens at same speed as normal oxidation with water, and you have to stay in contact with the metal of it stops.

i want to burn your avatar, fletcher

the ability to burn avatars

The ability to taste any smell.

The ability to easily and painlessly remove your own fingernails and toenails.

They grow back at normal speeds.

sent from a tippytappy flatpad

when holding a burning hot cup of earl grey tea with both hands, you can sense the stomach contents of a very specific type of wasp larva

The ability to gluten-enrich gluten-free foods at the wave of a hand

The ability to read people's thoughts in languages you completely don't understand and can't properly pronounce

The ability to walk on water with a depth of no more than .01 millimeters.

The ability to increase your penis size tenfold, but only by width.

Extreme nearsightedness.

Super powerfull tinnitus.

the ability to temporarily turn yourself into a wax figure of yourself.

the ability to fart in ultrasonic frequencies.

the ability to hear coldplay live shows from any distance.

Being able to convince others who you think Steinvord really is

  On 2/13/2016 at 5:24 PM, eugene said:

 

the ability to hear coldplay live shows from any distance.

flol that's terrible

hopefully you're able to turn that superpower off...

The ability to choose the best Linux distribution

An encyclopedic knowledge of NBC sitcoms that aired between Seinfeld and ER in the mid 1990s.

messageboard moderator

^ lol shots fired

lol