Worthless Superpowers Thread

  On 11/19/2009 at 5:13 AM, verticalhold said:

the ability to see out of one eye with both eyes open

HOLY FUCKING LOL

The ability to attract people with severely obvious mental illness.

The ability to give yourself a mental disorder.

the ability to sprain your own ankle without tripping on anything.

maybe not worthless though, i guess you could use it to get out of having to do stuff. sorry i just sprained my ankle .. yea again i know!!

the power to look without touching

The power to lock doors in front of you.

  On 11/19/2009 at 9:04 AM, OneToThirtySix said:

The power to lock doors in front of you.

not necessarily worthless

The ability to have explosive diarrhea on command.

  On 11/19/2009 at 9:16 AM, countchocula said:

The ability to have explosive diarrhea on command.

well... if the diarrhoea is explosive, I'm not entirely sure that superpower is useless. good for a laugh also

  On 11/19/2009 at 9:16 AM, verticalhold said:

  On 11/19/2009 at 9:04 AM, OneToThirtySix said:

The power to lock doors in front of you.

not necessarily worthless

Okay, I amend that to "doors you are going through, and unlock doors you've already gone through."

a powrful stupid power that never ends .....unless you want it to.

then it will ...but not for long because it's such a powrful stupid power

The ability to double the thickness of your clothing but only in extremely hot weather.

the ability to make that end of a carton slurping noise throughout an entire carton of ribena

Wife said:

The power to track the sentient movement of corpses.

i have the ability to spit by pressuring my salivary gland with my tongue whilst keeping my mouth open. Just try to spit without closing your mouth, you'll understand this is an amazing power.

the ability to shite on mars without a space suit/soots

the ability to shite in an ancient egyptians luggage

the ability to loose your keys twenty times a second

the ability to thrown grenades casuale...caszh rollin out the palm

the ability to sniff imaginations socks

the ability to grow fingers holding a spoon at the same time that regeneration occurs + 7 and a half

  On 11/20/2009 at 8:44 AM, abusivegeorge said:

The ability to double the thickness of your clothing but only in extremely hot weather.

Holy crap I don't even remember writing this and LOL'ED pretty hard at myself. I didn't even know it was me till after reading.

being able to predict the exact weight of your next stool

  On 12/12/2009 at 6:34 AM, abusivegeorge said:

  On 11/20/2009 at 8:44 AM, abusivegeorge said:

The ability to double the thickness of your clothing but only in extremely hot weather.

 

Holy crap I don't even remember writing this and LOL'ED pretty hard at myself. I didn't even know it was me till after reading.

there are too many funny words, maybe not here thoughts

  On 12/12/2009 at 6:33 AM, Jac Y Jymper said:

 

the ability to loose your keys twenty times a second

 

multilol

  On 12/12/2009 at 6:38 AM, LUDD said:

  On 12/12/2009 at 6:33 AM, Jac Y Jymper said:

 

the ability to loose your keys twenty times a second

 

 

 

multilol

LOL

the ability to sleep with a frog and not eat it

the ability to throw ludd about in zero gravity behind a wheelie bin in a parallel world where fish become fish at the age of five. then at the bithday of an arab fish (when the five fish become bacon then the ability happens again?) yesterday i was a grogg but now my friend says fuck off

exploding balls

thats some right marget thatcher balls you got exploding

the ability to have merzbow playing from your crotch at all times.