Worthless Superpowers Thread

  tauboo said:

the ability to delete your watmm posts when deleting your posts is considered abuse of the delete post feature

the ability to edit every post you make no matter how insignificant the edit

edit: the ability to get a haircut at will

Russia's pretty shit as a superpower.

<3 Capsaicin

The ability to jump super high but not being able to withstand the landing that follows

lol

Ability to make posts on a forum without using fast reply

Ability to pry apart any two LEGO pieces you have stuck together

really bendy thumbs

the ability to paint farts

the ability to fart paints

Ability to fill any given thimble instantly with tea.

The ability to be sick in reverse.

The ability to connect 5 in a game of connect 4

the ability to turn green objects red on wednesdays in june

but they have to be a particular shade of green

to become invisible, but you are the only one who can't see you.

nice bump

  On 3/3/2009 at 12:56 AM, LUDD said:

the ability to turn red traffic lights green just by staring at them for a couple of minutes

that is some proper comedic sensibility right there. a real gem of a chortle.

  On 3/3/2009 at 12:22 AM, plisb said:

Modify the sound of your farts

  On 3/3/2009 at 12:41 AM, LOL Alzado said:

the power to ejaculate in reverse, hoovering up your woman's juices til your balls are like a waterballoon full of lady grease.

In my opinion both of these do not belong in this thread. These are both way too awesome.

the ability to use your thoughts

being able to walk on water upside down

being able to rub your head whilst patting your stomach

the ability to become a guido and not convert from thus said transformation of

Though they denied it, I recently deducted and presented a case to my friend which implied that they were a secret villain named The Golden Saucer that slips into homes just to stealthily tinkle in the sink.

the ability to randomly receive ONE of Harvey Keitel's phone calls per day

  On 11/18/2009 at 7:38 AM, idrn said:

being able to walk on water upside down

lol this can be interpreted in so many ways

  On 11/18/2009 at 8:01 AM, verticalhold said:

  On 11/18/2009 at 7:38 AM, idrn said:

being able to walk on water upside down

 

lol this can be interpreted in so many ways

lol x2

The ability to "get it your way" at Burger King.

the ability to get a good passport photograph but only when wearing a hat

the ability to stick to teflon