discussion on having kids

  Benedict Cumberbatch said:

  Fred McGriff said:

i personally think having kids is one of the main points of life.

 

well it pretty much is. humans are just a parasite and everythign about is programmed to reproduce.

 

- looking at opposite sex releases chemicals which make us feel good

- sex releases chemicals which make us feel good

- looking at babies releases chemicals which make us feel good

 

we're just programmed baby machines

 

  Z_B_Z said:

  Benedict Cumberbatch said:

is it just another (overwhelming) distraction from ourselves?

 

god forbid you should be distracted from yourself. at the very least, having kids will help deflate your gigantic ego.

 

erm my point was that people can't deal with themselves and use many distraction devices. nothing to do with my ego you tit

excuse my misinterpretation. i still stand by the post tho.

  IRARI said:

i like some kids but overall i don't want any, too much responsibility and too much can go wrong

yeah maybe im just scared. seeing my brother being way too overprotective is weird. hes usually the guy climbing the tree and its bending but hes at the top and its bending nearly to the ground and he jumps. now he won't leave babby with its grandparents.

well anyway we're going to get cats and dogs and see if those satisfy the parental urge for a few years

  funkaholic said:

  Z_B_Z said:

  Benedict Cumberbatch said:

is it just another (overwhelming) distraction from ourselves?

 

god forbid you should be distracted from yourself. at the very least, having kids will help deflate your gigantic ego.

 

who did the avatar your using?

 

 

trevor brown

  Benedict Cumberbatch said:

well anyway we're going to get cats and dogs and see if those satisfy the parental urge for a few years

Cleaning up dog shit is worse.

I became a father at a young age (20) and while personally I don't regret any of it, I think that people should wait until they get things like education and career and personal goals sorted before they take the plunge into parenthood - 30 or higher is a good age, but only coupled with the maturity and patience being a parent requires. My kids are wonderful, and I wouldn't trade them for the world. I've been very fortunate to have good kids, and I do partially take the credit of being an attentive parent as a factor in that. I think I am a much better parent in my 30's than I was in my 20's, due to maturation and experience.

How you are as a person (both good and bad) will reflect in your child and how he or she are and who they become, so having your priorities straight before taking the plunge into parenthood is essential. I also think not losing sight of the fact you were once a child yourself is important in understanding children and how to relate to them.

  thanksomuch said:

i am sry i refuse my built in role as a baby machine.

if that's the way you feel then it's a good thing that you're not having any kids.

the great thing about being a parent is that it requires you to be completely selfless. it's not about ideology. it's not about you and your issues with society or whatever. when your child is counting on you for guidance, discipline, sympathy and love, it's just about you doing the very best you can to love and protect someone else. you get nothing in return except that it is its own reward.

so don't be a baby machine if that's how you feel. you're certainly entitled. but the downside is you're missing out on one of the most extraordinary aspects of being human.

  LOL Alzado said:

so don't be a baby machine if that's how you feel. you're certainly entitled. but the downside is you're missing out on one of the most extraordinary aspects of being human.

FTW

  Fred McGriff said:

growing up was weird for me. my mom was the disciplinarian. my dad has down's syndrome so i remember playing trucks with him when i was 2 and he was way more into it than i was

LOL

  Z_B_Z said:

  funkaholic said:

  Z_B_Z said:

  Benedict Cumberbatch said:

is it just another (overwhelming) distraction from ourselves?

 

god forbid you should be distracted from yourself. at the very least, having kids will help deflate your gigantic ego.

 

who did the avatar your using?

 

 

 

trevor brown

i can't seem to find that particular illustration of his on his website or anywhere, i might be being blind, could you possible put a link to it?

  Benedict Cumberbatch said:

  funkaholic said:

also sounds like benedict cumberbatch might jealous of his new nephew/niece

 

jealous of the attention hes getting from my brother?

 

or jealous of my brother for having a babby?

 

 

i am sad i'm not around to play with the babby. we're on different continents. if i dont have kids of my own i still like them and the babby is very adorable. no denying. i'm just questioning the whole process.

jealous your not getting attention from your brother, but im wrong!

that is sad, hope you get to see the baby soon

  messiaen said:

i can imagine it being intense, but i feel sorry for people who do it in their 20's. having kids looks like a 30's activity to me. i reckon you'd be in a more solid mental state to raise a decent human being at that age too.

Couldn't agree more.

sheesh, heavy topic, I can relate to mooncup though because my wife & I are in our early 30s and it's getting to go time, and yeah, there are plenty of ambivalent feelings about deciding to procreate. I mean we both like kids and I think we'd be decent enough parents but from a skeptical view I don't see what bringing another life into this world accomplishes, it's not like the survival of the human race is at stake, almost seems selfish in a way. For a while I was keen on the possibility of adoption though I'm coming to realize what a fucked up proposition that is, what with the hoops they make you jump through to prove you'd be a fit parent, stuff that 3/4 of biological parents wouldn't even pass. But yeah it'll probably be another one of those things in life I just let happen and go with the flow on

  LOL Alzado said:

so don't be a baby machine if that's how you feel. you're certainly entitled. but the downside is you're missing out on one of the most extraordinary aspects of being human.

that is the number one most retarded thing i have ever heard in my entire life. you say all that bullshit because you are a male and you don;t have to go through the fucking hideous changes and the taxing trail of actually carrying a fucking child. not to mention, women who have kids for their man person and then get fucking ditched.

my freedom is mine, and i don;t want to give it up for some screaming little human. i have watched them ruin lives, drain resources and suck souls. i am sry i do not want to subject myself to that sort of bother. on the other hand my life's dream is to have a wild animal rescue, so my "maternal instinct" got fucked some how and was redirected to animals. i think i was bitten by a baby as a child or something.

I hate those population control arguments. It only ever comes from countries in the developed world, too. The least populated. Clean energy and technology is the answer to that problem. Not less people. I personally don't want kids until I can afford to provide for them. I grew up poor and it isn't fun. It affects your life throughout unless you can get a full scholarship or are really gifted and can lift yourself out somehow. When your parents are poor they don't have the skills to help you either. They are too busy just trying to put out little fires.

I'm more ready to have kids than to have a wife.

  thanksomuch said:

  LOL Alzado said:

so don't be a baby machine if that's how you feel. you're certainly entitled. but the downside is you're missing out on one of the most extraordinary aspects of being human.

 

 

that is the number one most retarded thing i have ever heard in my entire life. you say all that bullshit because you are a male and you don;t have to go through the fucking hideous changes and the taxing trail of actually carrying a fucking child. not to mention, women who have kids for their man person and then get fucking ditched.

 

my freedom is mine, and i don;t want to give it up for some screaming little human. i have watched them ruin lives, drain resources and suck souls. i am sry i do not want to subject myself to that sort of bother. on the other hand my life's dream is to have a wild animal rescue, so my "maternal instinct" got fucked some how and was redirected to animals. i think i was bitten by a baby as a child or something.

yeah whatever, i'm not trying to persuade you, just to illustrate the flip side. you're right i don't have to go through the changes. but my wife did and she loved it.

and there's one thing i'm saying that's absolutely not bullshit, being a parent is an aspect of humanity that taps our natural and spiritual instincts. there's no experience like it, no matter how many wild animals you rescue. you can call me retarded all you want if that makes you feel good, but the fact is that among the two of us i'm the only one who's lived both with and without children. and i'm telling you, it makes you a more complete person. you can't love another adult or an animal the way you love your own child. this is an experience that can't be approximated or substituted. it's range of feelings that can't be felt unless you're a parent.

  LOL Alzado said:

  thanksomuch said:

  LOL Alzado said:

so don't be a baby machine if that's how you feel. you're certainly entitled. but the downside is you're missing out on one of the most extraordinary aspects of being human.

 

 

that is the number one most retarded thing i have ever heard in my entire life. you say all that bullshit because you are a male and you don;t have to go through the fucking hideous changes and the taxing trail of actually carrying a fucking child. not to mention, women who have kids for their man person and then get fucking ditched.

 

my freedom is mine, and i don;t want to give it up for some screaming little human. i have watched them ruin lives, drain resources and suck souls. i am sry i do not want to subject myself to that sort of bother. on the other hand my life's dream is to have a wild animal rescue, so my "maternal instinct" got fucked some how and was redirected to animals. i think i was bitten by a baby as a child or something.

yeah whatever, i'm not trying to persuade you, just to illustrate the flip side. you're right i don't have to go through the changes. but my wife did and she loved it.

 

and there's one thing i'm saying that's absolutely not bullshit, being a parent is an aspect of humanity that taps our natural and spiritual instincts. there's no experience like it, no matter how many wild animals you rescue. you can call me retarded all you want if that makes you feel good, but the fact is that among the two of us i'm the only one who's lived both with and without children. and i'm telling you, it makes you a more complete person. you can't love another adult or an animal the way you love your own child. this is an experience that can't be approximated or substituted. it's range of feelings that can't be felt unless you're a parent.

i think it's cute that JR sucked your cock over your overwhelmingly heart warming post.

i am excusing myself form this thread, but before i go, as i have no intention to return, all your blah blah blah bullshit about love and what not, if that's how you feel fulfilled and happy, grats to you. i have no interest in having children and i am pretty fucking sure i am going to have just as much of an enriched life with out them. this silly blind delusion of "no way you can love another this that or the other thing more then you can love your own child, tell that to the press, and the mothers that kill their children and fathers that rape their daughters. fucking absurd and ridiculous. but like i said, if it is what gives you pure joy and happiness, have it it, but don't waste your fucking breathe on trying to convince me otherwise.

i agree with most of what the parents are saying about kids; but is it not possible to feel (or develop) those same feelings about another human being... say if you were to adopt a child? i know it's hardly the same thing as actually birthing and caring for your own offspring, and i'm not trying to say that it is.

only point being (as bill hicks used to say) there are many many young kids in the world who are in need of loving parents and i would at least think it probably comes up as a topic of discussion when people (couples) start talking about having kids. does it?

  IRARI said:

i like some kids but overall i don't want any, too much responsibility and too much can go wrong

this.

additionally, there's the cycles everyone's mentioning -- college, work, marriage, kids, retirement, death -- and i feel it's part of the human race's evolution to get over this shit. i mean, if you want all that, fine. i'm more talking about the people that follow that line because "it's what everyone else does" or "it's easier than not doing it"

edit, elaboration: hay!!! instead of solving humanity's problems, let's dump all our spare resources into war and procreation!!

I'm not responsible, mature, or fiscally stable enough to have a kid.

I don't think I will be for another decade or two.

I've also never met anyone I'd want to raise a child with.

In the event that all the proper criteria fall into place...

I'd think about it.

Maybe.

  thanksomuch said:

i think it's cute that JR sucked your cock over your overwhelmingly heart warming post.

 

i am excusing myself form this thread, but before i go, as i have no intention to return, all your blah blah blah bullshit about love and what not, if that's how you feel fulfilled and happy, grats to you. i have no interest in having children and i am pretty fucking sure i am going to have just as much of an enriched life with out them. this silly blind delusion of "no way you can love another this that or the other thing more then you can love your own child, tell that to the press, and the mothers that kill their children and fathers that rape their daughters. fucking absurd and ridiculous. but like i said, if it is what gives you pure joy and happiness, have it it, but don't waste your fucking breathe on trying to convince me otherwise.

what the hell are you so angry about? you can experience all kinds of joy (hypothetically at least, you posts make you seem like there's not a lot of joy being had, to be honest) without kids. but having kids is a particular kind of joy that can't be approximated. that's what I'm saying. and without having both experiences, you can't know, no matter how much you swear at me. you still don't know. so i win and you lose forever (or at least until you hit 40 and are filled with regret over the barren void you've made with your life).

  Deep Fried Everything said:

i agree with most of what the parents are saying about kids; but is it not possible to feel (or develop) those same feelings about another human being... say if you were to adopt a child? i know it's hardly the same thing as actually birthing and caring for your own offspring, and i'm not trying to say that it is.

 

only point being (as bill hicks used to say) there are many many young kids in the world who are in need of loving parents and i would at least think it probably comes up as a topic of discussion when people (couples) start talking about having kids. does it?

there's no distinction between adopted kids and biological kids.

also, my Uncle Ramos just read this thread and said "bitches that don't want kids are fucking retards. what's next, she won't want to do the laundry or the dishes? fuck that."

  Bob Dobalina said:

sheesh, heavy topic, I can relate to mooncup though because my wife & I are in our early 30s and it's getting to go time, and yeah, there are plenty of ambivalent feelings about deciding to procreate. I mean we both like kids and I think we'd be decent enough parents but from a skeptical view I don't see what bringing another life into this world accomplishes, it's not like the survival of the human race is at stake, almost seems selfish in a way. For a while I was keen on the possibility of adoption though I'm coming to realize what a fucked up proposition that is, what with the hoops they make you jump through to prove you'd be a fit parent, stuff that 3/4 of biological parents wouldn't even pass. But yeah it'll probably be another one of those things in life I just let happen and go with the flow on

yeah its totally selfish. nothing wrong with that of course.

timingwise the world is in shit right now. or at least major change. economic instability, peak oil etc

is it about seeing yourself as a child? a little you. time travel could solve this problem.

I'd like the experience of raising a child - it doesn't even have to be my own - but I'm at a point in my life (fairly young) where I just don't feel that I'd be able to give a child the attention it deserves. I'm too busy living my life and I want to do a LOT more before I even begin to think I can take the time to give a child the love it needs. Luckily, my girlfriend, who is amazing with children, agrees with me on this point whenever we talk about kids. Perhaps I'll think about it when I'm older, maybe 50 or 60 years old.