discussion on having kids

  Wall Bird said:

maybe 50 or 60 years old.

huzzah autism and/or other faulty sperm related defects (I think I'll probably end up in the same boat)

good luck chasing a 2 year old around when you're 60 and your old man balls keep banging against your thighs like hanging stones every time you get out of a chair

autism is believed to rely on many factors, old sperm isn't really one of the major ones.

i can't really deal with kids. i'll probably never have my own. never know though.

I am 24 and have a 3 week old baby. My wife and I have been married three years now and we decided to get an early start. In my ideal world I would have waiting until I was 30, but my wife is emotionally very mature, and wanted to be a mother more than anything else in her life...so I compromised with her. I can honestly say that I have seen a maturation in the selfless way she looks at life and herself since having the baby that has come as a complete surprise. When you have a child, there are certain rights of passage that you go through within your mind and if you can consciously overcome your fear and delusion of what you think your life should be, kids can be a very rewarding experience. It's easy for people who don't have kids to dismiss the experience, but there is a significant evolution that takes place in this process that can open your eyes to perceiving things you simply can't conceive otherwise.

I definitely think the idea that there's "no way you can love another this that or the other thing more then you can love your own child" is absurd...it is just a different kind of love. To experience that your own state of mind and being is responsible for something that spawned directly from you, is a completely different feeling than the empathy and love of another human being...there is no ego and delusion involved with the love of a child...it is more innate.

All this being said, I wouldn't recommend doing this unless you are absolutely prepared. Kids sure as hell won't fix a bad relationshop, and it is probably the hardest thing I've done at this point of my life. I'm tired all of the time, and my creative output is pretty much vanished because I have no time anymore. I'm sure hoping that once the 6 weeks mark hits and he is able to sleep through the night, things can slightly return to normal.

  LOL Alzado said:

what the hell are you so angry about? you can experience all kinds of joyrex (hypothetically at least, you posts make you seem like there's not a lot of joyrex being had, to be honest) without kids. but having kids is a particular kind of joyrex that can't be approximated. that's what I'm saying. and without having both experiences, you can't know, no matter how much you swear at me. you still don't know. so i win and you lose forever (or at least until you hit 40 and are filled with regret over the barren void you've made with your life).

There, that's better...

"Hey guys you ever hear Beethoven's Ode To Joyrex? lol!"

".....get the fuck out of my house."

  thanksomuch said:

i think it's cute that JR sucked your cock over your overwhelmingly heart warming post.

 

i am excusing myself form this thread, but before i go, as i have no intention to return, all your blah blah blah bullshit about love and what not, if that's how you feel fulfilled and happy, grats to you. i have no interest in having children and i am pretty fucking sure i am going to have just as much of an enriched life with out them. this silly blind delusion of "no way you can love another this that or the other thing more then you can love your own child, tell that to the press, and the mothers that kill their children and fathers that rape their daughters. fucking absurd and ridiculous. but like i said, if it is what gives you pure joy and happiness, have it it, but don't waste your fucking breathe on trying to convince me otherwise.

This quote really shows that there are some other issues involved here that don't have much to do with children.

this thread inspired me to go out and have some kids. I think once they get nice and ripe i'll try trading them for the world. There seems to be a lot of untapped markets going on in in the worlds/babies economy.

Though one thing that perturbs me... the commercialism that focuses on babies makes me want to vomit and kill someone.

Taking your little one to baby gap to try on some trendy outfit, and then sweep them away to the baby photographer right before a quick pregame naptime before baby jazzercize yoga and an organic luncheon at baby whole foods. Good thing you're independently rich cuz those 6 inch dior-homme baby jeans cost an arm and a leg! But make sure you stock up on babynaps and mom bars cuz when you're pushin that 12wheel all-terrain ergonomic stroller you might actually break a sweat.

Man I've been watching a shit ton of Scooby Doo lately and its awesome, And getting my nuts stepped on in my role as the human jungle gym,. I was unsure of having kids until the last few years when i decided I'd like to baby make a Velazquez jr. or juniorette. Hopefully soon.

my lady and i are finally gonna get married later this year and we've been talking about having kids a lot. neither of us are really fond of the idea for various reasons. everybody says that it's the best thing ever and i can certainly understand the feeling it must bring, but i'm just not into the idea at this point in my life. when i look around me at the state of the world, the reality that kids have to live in these days...it just makes me sad. kids are vicious and the role models they look up to are becoming more and more degenerate. nowadays the coolest thing you could possibly be to a teenager is a completely selfish, superficial loser with no real aspirations to accomplish anything but mindless partying and fornication. it's fucking depressing.

i wouldn't want to have to sit my kid down and go "look kid, this world is inhabited by stupid people and the thing about stupid people is that they're also incredibly insecure and secretly hate that they're so stupid and will tear your ass down if you show any hint that you might be better than them in any respect. these people will completely overwhelm you with their vastly superior numbers and complete lack of class. so while you should strive to be smart, learn shit, be a decent human being and all that shit, you should also completely hide that part of yourself and build a facade of cool indifference or else you'll be a complete outcast for most of your formative years which will leave you with severe emotional and psychological issues in your adulthood that will cause you to flipflop through your 20s trying to reinvent yourself to experience that feeling of acceptance and admiration that you never had in your teens, which will lead to a series of unfulfilling relationships, superficial friendships and possibly even a substance abuse problem. but, you know, you should also be yourself and whatnot. got that kiddo? great, go out there and knock 'em dead!"

kids have it rough these days, they really do. and it doesn't seem to be getting any better. as a parent, it's natural to want the best for your kid, want them to succeed and surpass what you've done in your own life, but at the same time those are all qualities that will get your kid beat up, ridiculed and outcast by the people who matter to them at the time. you can't be too controlling or they'll just rebel and do the opposite and you can't be too hands off or they'll be molded by the wrong influences, but making them aware of the reality of the negative influences around them prevents them from socializing organically with their peers and learning to form healthy relationships.

maybe at some point i'll be able to reconcile all this, but at this point in my life, i just can't be at peace with it.

living adjacent to a childrens park in tokyo is the best birth control ever. screaming 24/7

kids: do not want

  catsonearth said:

my lady and i are finally gonna get married later this year and we've been talking about having kids a lot. neither of us are really fond of the idea for various reasons. everybody says that it's the best thing ever and i can certainly understand the feeling it must bring, but i'm just not into the idea at this point in my life. when i look around me at the state of the world, the reality that kids have to live in these days...it just makes me sad. kids are vicious and the role models they look up to are becoming more and more degenerate. nowadays the coolest thing you could possibly be to a teenager is a completely selfish, superficial loser with no real aspirations to accomplish anything but mindless partying and fornication. it's fucking depressing.

 

i wouldn't want to have to sit my kid down and go "look kid, this world is inhabited by stupid people and the thing about stupid people is that they're also incredibly insecure and secretly hate that they're so stupid and will tear your ass down if you show any hint that you might be better than them in any respect. these people will completely overwhelm you with their vastly superior numbers and complete lack of class. so while you should strive to be smart, learn shit, be a decent human being and all that shit, you should also completely hide that part of yourself and build a facade of cool indifference or else you'll be a complete outcast for most of your formative years which will leave you with severe emotional and psychological issues in your adulthood that will cause you to flipflop through your 20s trying to reinvent yourself to experience that feeling of acceptance and admiration that you never had in your teens, which will lead to a series of unfulfilling relationships, superficial friendships and possibly even a substance abuse problem. but, you know, you should also be yourself and whatnot. got that kiddo? great, go out there and knock 'em dead!"

 

kids have it rough these days, they really do. and it doesn't seem to be getting any better. as a parent, it's natural to want the best for your kid, want them to succeed and surpass what you've done in your own life, but at the same time those are all qualities that will get your kid beat up, ridiculed and outcast by the people who matter to them at the time. you can't be too controlling or they'll just rebel and do the opposite and you can't be too hands off or they'll be molded by the wrong influences, but making them aware of the reality of the negative influences around them prevents them from socializing organically with their peers and learning to form healthy relationships.

 

maybe at some point i'll be able to reconcile all this, but at this point in my life, i just can't be at peace with it.

What you say about the world children are growing up in is true, but from experience, having a 14 year old myself, I can say how you act and interact with the world around you and your worldview makes a big impact on your child, so by doing the right thing and teaching your child basic morals and values, you can ensure that when he or she is ready to go out into the world and you're not going to be there as guidance, that they'll be as prepared as they can be to deal with it head on. I really can't complain about my son; he's responsible, polite, and doesn't do anything most teenagers do (no texting, he hates talking on the phone, doesn't have a MySpace or Facebook page, etc.) that tend to get them into trouble. He's well-liked by everyone at school, has lots of friends, and keeps his nose clean. I'm very proud of him.

joyrex it sounds like your son is getting watmm aged, and i assume that, being raised by you, he's probably had a lot of exposure to electronic music. do you worry about the inevitable banning of your son, WiiPhex_3000? have you come up with a procedure or gameplan of how that would go down? would you temporarily stepdown, "go on vacation," and pass the banhammer to cen?

  Adjective said:

joyrex it sounds like your son is getting watmm aged, and i assume that, being raised by you, he's probably had a lot of exposure to electronic music. do you worry about the inevitable banning of your son, WiiPhex_3000? have you come up with a procedure or gameplan of how that would go down? would you temporarily stepdown, "go on vacation," and pass the banhammer to cen?

For all you know, I am Joyrex's son and have already taken over!

*falls through the couch*

  Adjective said:

joyrex it sounds like your son is getting watmm aged, and i assume that, being raised by you, he's probably had a lot of exposure to electronic music. do you worry about the inevitable banning of your son, WiiPhex_3000? have you come up with a procedure or gameplan of how that would go down? would you temporarily stepdown, "go on vacation," and pass the banhammer to cen?

fucking lol

does ejaculating into a petri dish full of agar and growing a culture count as having kids?

if so I'm a loving father of 4

  catsonearth said:

my lady and i are finally gonna get married later this year and we've been talking about having kids a lot. neither of us are really fond of the idea for various reasons. everybody says that it's the best thing ever and i can certainly understand the feeling it must bring, but i'm just not into the idea at this point in my life. when i look around me at the state of the world, the reality that kids have to live in these days...it just makes me sad. kids are vicious and the role models they look up to are becoming more and more degenerate. nowadays the coolest thing you could possibly be to a teenager is a completely selfish, superficial loser with no real aspirations to accomplish anything but mindless partying and fornication. it's fucking depressing.

i see your point and i often worry about the world my girls are going to inherit. but a little perspective is necessary. can you imagine what it must have been like during the industrial revolution when kids went to work at 13 and lost fingers or got beaten by their bosses? there was a long period of time in the US (where we've had it better than a lot of other places in the world) where kids had pretty tough lives, way tougher than what kids deal with now. likewise, it must have been frightening to think about having a kid during the nuclear arms race, not to mention all the social upheaval that was also taking place during that same period.

point is, there will never be a time when world will have its affairs in order such that having a kid will be worry free. no matter what the circumstances of your time are, there will be plenty of obstacles. they'll just be different.

Id stick my kid in some small expensive alternative school where I scoped out the other kids and maybe interviewed kids that graduated from there. See if they are good people.

  LOL Alzado said:

  catsonearth said:

my lady and i are finally gonna get married later this year and we've been talking about having kids a lot. neither of us are really fond of the idea for various reasons. everybody says that it's the best thing ever and i can certainly understand the feeling it must bring, but i'm just not into the idea at this point in my life. when i look around me at the state of the world, the reality that kids have to live in these days...it just makes me sad. kids are vicious and the role models they look up to are becoming more and more degenerate. nowadays the coolest thing you could possibly be to a teenager is a completely selfish, superficial loser with no real aspirations to accomplish anything but mindless partying and fornication. it's fucking depressing.

i see your point and i often worry about the world my girls are going to inherit. but a little perspective is necessary. can you imagine what it must have been like during the industrial revolution when kids went to work at 13 and lost fingers or got beaten by their bosses? there was a long period of time in the US (where we've had it better than a lot of other places in the world) where kids had pretty tough lives, way tougher than what kids deal with now. likewise, it must have been frightening to think about having a kid during the nuclear arms race, not to mention all the social upheaval that was also taking place during that same period.

 

point is, there will never be a time when world will have its affairs in order such that having a kid will be worry free. no matter what the circumstances of your time are, there will be plenty of obstacles. they'll just be different.

let's also not forget that today there's a pill for everything, and accountability for nothing.

Quite eerily not more than an hour after I last posted in this thread my wife sprang (sprung?) another let's talk about having kids convo over dinner, I was quite tempted to say "funny, I was just discussing this with a bunch of strangers on the internet who are into IDM and poop..." but I thought it might spoil the mood.

clearly she e-spying on you. clear your cache and run spybot

I'm iffy on the subject of kids. Sometimes it seems like a great idea and probably one of the best things you can do for the world, try to raise a good person who will make the world a better place after you die. But then a lot of the time I just can't imagine it, I wonder if I'd really feel unconditional love or whether it would just be too much effort for me. I'd be wracked with guilt if I had a child and fucked up their life somehow like so many people do.

Basically, I'd need to have all of my own problems under at least some sort of control, able to support myself and a family financially, and in a serious and committed relationship. None of which are about to happen any time soon!

I want to have kids, I love kids, i use to babysit/care for children of all ages, I'm a natural.

i almost feel like i've had kids from looking after my niece and nephew so much when i was a teenager. my nephew would get confused and call me dad. he still has the hairstyle i had when i was 15 but hates me.

actually depression in women is almost always related to the inability to follow through with the biological imperative (having kids) or the loss of a child. to act like there's some greater purpose for a human being (man or woman), other than having a child, is delusional. in my opinion.