So today

Today is the longest period for which I have been sober. I beat up a hipster, I hit a dude on the bus, I'm stressed as fuck, I'm paranoid and think that no1 likes me, everybody has fobbed me off with excuses, even when I really needed friends around me today, I'm very tired and I came this "-" close to picking up.

Should I just go back to drinking?

No, definitely not; and you know it!

Yeah, just breathe and know that we love you here and you have a girlfriend that actually comes here to support you as well.....

beating up hipsters isn't a bad thing...

and work as much stress off as you can by exercise or fucking or anything(beat up more hipsters)...

I know.

WHY WONT MY HEAD SORT THIS SHIT, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME, I HAVE SOMEBODY WHO LOVES ME AND I HATE MYSELF.

Now I sound like weed, but you know what, at least I'm fucking sober enough to mean it.

drinking isn't going to make any of that shit go away, it's just going to fuck you up to the point that you wont be thinking about it, but as soon as you're sober again it'll all still be right there. better to just face it head on and get it out of the way instead of just prolonging it by trying to ignore it or drown it out.

it's way easier to drink/do drugs than it is to be vulnerable and be hurt, but getting hurt only makes you stronger and more able to cope in the end whereas drinking only puts that experience off so when you finally do get hurt, it burns that much more because you're not used to coping with it.

don't you fucking dare pick up a drink. that shit is retarded and you know it. fuck that.

if anything have a smoke and go to bed.

i'll kill you myself if you start boozing again.

  abusivegeorge said:

I beat up a hipster

I fail to see the downside of sobriety.

catsonearth, thats the truth of it mate, through and though.

ess-thanks mate :).

Well said Iain!

You know what happens if you do!!

Edit: well said everyone whose positive! :D

  Chloe S said:

Well said Iain!

 

You know what happens if you do!!

Is your avatar one of George's baby pics? Fuck me, he started early...

yeah, see...

Drinking or die by the hands of a crazy metalhead Canadian crazyman!

and COE said it the best....

We have to deal with the stress of life sooner or later....best not to put it off

I know you guys are right, just fuck, FUCK.

  The Overlook said:

  Chloe S said:

Well said Iain!

 

You know what happens if you do!!

Is your avatar one of George's baby pics? Fuck me, he started early...

Hahaha, no! :P

if you feel drinking is that bad for your life then no, stay away.

i quit drinking for about a year. i was a blackout / passout drinker. someone took a picture of me when i had passed out in some vomit and the fact that the picture existed pretty much humiliated me into sobriety. it was kind of annoying for a while. none of my friends supported me and were always trying to get me to drink. that's probably the hardest part, some friends treating you like you're not "participating"

after a while of not needing to drink, i started drinking socially again. something changed during the time away. now when i drink after 1 or 2 something clicks in my head and says to stop. like anything higher than a buzz and i become physically repulsed by alcohol. it's weird but also awesome. i went from having no control to knowing exactly when to stop. i drink maybe once a month now. this isn't me recommending you start drinking again, but telling you to at least try to appreciate sobriety for a while. get to where you don't need a drink to have a good time. then maybe if you do sneak a drink here and there they will be a occasionally treat instead of your only way to have a good time.

Stay off the sauce, YOU CAN DO IT, AG!

  Adjective said:

if you feel drinking is that bad for your life then no, stay away.

i quit drinking for about a year. i was a blackout / passout drinker. someone took a picture of me when i had passed out in some vomit and the fact that the picture existed pretty much humiliated me into sobriety. it was kind of annoying for a while. none of my friends supported me and were always trying to get me to drink. that's probably the hardest part, some friends treating you like you're not "participating"

 

after a while of not needing to drink, i started drinking socially again. something changed during the time away. now when i drink after 1 or 2 something clicks in my head and says to stop. like anything higher than a buzz and i become physically repulsed by alcohol. it's weird but also awesome. i went from having no control to knowing exactly when to stop. i drink maybe once a month now. this isn't me recommending you start drinking again, but telling you to at least try to appreciate sobriety for a while. get to where you don't need a drink to have a good time. then maybe if you do sneak a drink here and there they will be a occasionally treat instead of your only way to have a good time.

its not just that he thinks its bad for him, its the fact that if he ever drinks again he will die!

look at all this love...I am jealous, heheheh!

Problem with me adjective is I have a liver that is 75% damaged beoynd repair and only a 30% chance of living past the next five years and thats without the drink, with the drink I'm looking at 4-6 months.

The problem with that is, what with addiction being a mental illness my head when it gets like this tells me "Fuck it, why not go out with a bang". And you know what I'm talking about it on here, because thats what we are supposed to, talk, not bottle up how we feel and I know this is watmm and probably a stupid place to post but at 1:08 in the morning I have nowhere else to go.

  abusivegeorge said:

I know.

 

WHY WONT MY HEAD SORT THIS SHIT, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME, I HAVE SOMEBODY WHO LOVES ME AND I HATE MYSELF.

 

Now I sound like weed, but you know what, at least I'm fucking sober enough to mean it.

most of the addicts i know are extremely sensitive people and i'm willing to bet that you are as well. it's part of what makes an addict. you get down on yourself and feel like you aren't succeeding at things or that even if thing are going well at the moment, you'll inevitably fuck it up somehow, but i think the key is to keep telling yourself that the negative feelings you have for yourself are positive in the sense that you only think them because you want to be better than you are. that's a good thing. everyone should want to be better than they are, but the problem comes when you beat yourself up because you aren't there yet. most people are content to float through life without ever really questioning themselves, their motivations...anything and you have to know that you already have a leg up on most people because you have the ability to reflect on yourself. everybody is fucked up in one way or another, but most people don't even realize it and go through life thinking they're the shit. you're fucked up too, but you realize that you're fucked up and that's why you feel the way you feel. use that pain as motivation instead of a reason to give up. every time you feel down on yourself, remember that it's because you haven't become the person you truly want to be yet and that the only thing that's holding you back from being that person is your own shame.

i regret my post now!

Sorry that above reply sounded sharp, but it wasn't meant like that at all :).

Wow, I'm getting some amazing feedback here, I don't know what to say. Thanks for the support guys, keep it coming, I can't sleep anyway.

COE I'm interested as to where you acquire your knowledge, you seem to know mate.

Adjective, no worries mate, you weren't to know :)

  abusivegeorge said:

Sorry that above reply sounded sharp, but it wasn't meant like that at all :).

same here, sorry dude! :D

Lascaille, you seem to have observed me well :P.