So today

  analogue wings said:

Also ginseng for "mild anxiety"

 

plus lots of water and vitamin b in case that wasnt obvious...

I did have some Ginseng tea, and I can't find it!

I take Vitamin B supplements on a daily basis and drink lots of water also, but its my head thats really doing me in.

yeah i was serious before about body work. it has done wonders for me and continues to do so.

at the bottom of this, remember, it's all going to wash away eventually, and all you're going to remember is whether you were able to stay on the path you chose. don't count the days, just concentrate on staying alive this second!

Thats very true A/D, it's so hard to stay in the moment though, when that moment is whats sending you mad.

Watch Disney movies.

Saddic Gladdic helps.

lots of Vibert, Isan, Marumari and Lackluster!

find more things to enjoy. just trying to find them will be a distraction.

I've tried that tauboo and I've found things I enjoy, but my mind just won't sentre on them, and I get tired easily and worked up and it only makes things worse, in AA I believe they call it RID-Restless Irritable and Discontent.

it's not intuitive, but try letting go and not fighting it. lie there in bed and feel like utter shit and concentrate and try to pick it apart. think about the shape of the feeling in your body - become aware of where you feel it. imagine what it looks like pulsing on top of your belly or behind your eyes. put your hands over where it hurts and just let go.

  A/D said:

it's not intuitive, but try letting go and not fighting it. lie there in bed and feel like utter shit and concentrate and try to pick it apart. think about the shape of the feeling in your body - become aware of where you feel it. imagine what it looks like pulsing on top of your belly or behind your eyes. put your hands over where it hurts and just let go.

I do this all the time but lately its not working, it only really works when I remember that my gf loves me, and that thought passes through my mind very little because I'm concentrating on feeling so shit.

I'm actually crying, and it's not self pity, I'm genuinely fucking worried for me.

mm, that's part of what i mean - listen to your body and what's around you, maybe you will find something you really want or you'll uncover something from your past that's bothering you. once i started healing my body, i've had a lot of days like this and i eventually have been able to identify the feelings from when i was younger. try to remember the last time you felt this way?

you probably don't want to hear this, but i think it's awesome that you're crying, i have a really hard time with it. a guy i know said kids in jamaica are taught that crying is the only way to wash your soul clean. even if it doesn't feel good now, it will feel 10x better later . .

A lot of my feelins I've been able to identify with from childhood, but this time it's different, I don't remember feeling like this and I think thats because as soon as a feeling this shit started to come up, I picked up, anything, to make me feel better from a very young age.

Yeah crying is very good for the soul and I'm not ashamed to admit it, I'll cry if I need to cry I don't understand people who are scared to show their emotions.

this is your chance to figure it out! or your chance to stand up to it. you only get one moment to try (:

haha, it takes weird things for me to let shit out . . last time i cried was watching disney's "bolt" on an airplane. i cried like 5 times. i hope the dudes sitting next to me were properly amused/puzzled.

Yeah I'm letting it out man, feeling a bit better.

lol, watership down makes me cry, I think I identify with the rejection.

if i was gonna consider anything george i would say ibogaine, but i would imagine it would be exceptionally hard to get hold of.

but seriously i wouldn't consider anything.

whilst there were experiments in the sixties, LSD would need to be administered in a medical scenario and highly controlled, with a psychotherapist present in order to address an addiction problem. anything else and you're rolling a dice. and that scenario isn't legally possible for the last 40ish years. go medical science!

lol

another way to look at it is - you can take it. if you couldn't take it you'd be already gone. but you're still here and even if you feel like shit you're fighting with everything you have and that speaks to an unbelievable, enormous life force within you, which you may not be able to feel or understand but something is keeping you alive and you're still processing food and your cells are repairing themselves and you're going to be okay.

the fact that we are all these incredible machines

that we are all walking, talking factories that consume and manufacture chemicals,

that we are all walking, talking factories that process and excrete chemicals

that this process is aided and hindered and regulated by the combined influence of hundreds of different types of organism which flourish in the different environments my body provides or enzymes it produces - it blows my mind. i'm a walking, talking ecosystem about 70 metres in length. so are you. i bet atop will love this post.

where is your family during all of this george? (just curious)

there is a pill out now that gets rid of the desire for drinking booze.

Topamax,topiramate, etc

Pills work. I was really depressed 4 months ago and it lifted me out and I gained control.

georgie, be strong and ride it out. don't turn to drugs, that shit will fuck you up regardless of what it is. you can do it dude, i'll be thinking of you.

you've masked your life for long enough as it is so don't turn back to that shit.

  kaini said:

the fact that we are all these incredible machines

that we are all walking, talking factories that consume and manufacture chemicals,

that we are all walking, talking factories that process and excrete chemicals

 

that this process is aided and hindered and regulated by the combined influence of hundreds of different types of organism which flourish in the different environments my body provides or enzymes it produces - it blows my mind. i'm a walking, talking ecosystem about 70 metres in length. so are you. i bet atop will love this post.

yeah! this! and what essines said

watmm love massif

abusivegeorge are you in therapy? if what you said in thread is actually true then you need serious help and shouldn't be only relying on an internet forum for support. where are your friends/family?

man, that kaini guy can write!

hehehehe!

I did enjoy it....