stupid first world problems you're dealing with

These antibiotics aren't making my ball feel better but they are making my stomach feel like it's full of rusty razors.

My cat managed to successfully open the closet a couple times by fluke. So now he always tries to open it, but since he doesn't actually know how it just makes a lot of annoying racket.

slept into 12:50 today...

My copy of Exai hasn't arrived yet....

fwp. Learning objective 3:

use direct and indirect cost pools to calculate cost-allocation rates and assign costs to manufacturing departments.

So, when I study well for an exam, I pass it with 8+ (out of 10), normally. If I don't study well, I fail it with a fucking 0/10 or -F... I don't have luck whatsoever... I just can't be mediocre... And it's a fucking pain in the ass. Or I'm full shit, or I'm excellent, never inbetween.

FWP: I can't get the word "bloodgasm" out of my head

that word makes my peehole tingle ( i think i have a fear of pissing blood -- never have done in my life though)

  On 3/8/2013 at 5:29 AM, isaki said:

that word makes my peehole tingle ( i think i have a fear of pissing blood -- never have done in my life though)

When I was in elementary school I got kicked in the side* and urinated blood for the next 3 years. (no joke)

*none of the doctors could figure out source of the problem, even after jamming a 2-foot tube in me

  On 3/8/2013 at 5:49 AM, isaki said:

I know that's exactly what I thought at the time.

I'm reduced to using the free wi-fi at Tim Horton's.

However, somehow I can connect to my university's secure network, so I get great speeds. lol

bit of a fwp here.

me and some friends threw a bachelor party for a buddy of mine. vegas baby. we rented out a hotel room, hit up some casinos, got some strippers. my buddy said he loved us and ran toward the fountain at the bellagio, but then someone told him the jetspray would cut him in half. it was cool. we're kind of like entourage, but we're all vince. anyway, for the finale, we all pitched in and ordered a hatsune miku vocaloid on-demand girlfriend from dominos.com. after waiting for the app to download a second app to screen the first one for viruses, the vocaloid projected into my buddy's private suite. we all waited around, hi fiving while he went to town on it. we checked our portfolios, popped and unpopped our collars. eventually he emerged from the suite, grinning, and asked us to run a train on the vocaloid. i was pretty wasted and decided it would be fun to pull her pigtails while i fucked her doggystyle. i guess i was pulling too hard because they popped off and pixels streamed out onto my dick. it burned. i kicked her away from me and she must have hit her head on the wall. her voice stuttered up a number of octaves and her head imploded. the room smelled like metal and baby powder. i called everyone in and we stared at the flickering body crumpled in the corner. now, i know what you're thinking: call customer service. but see, there's a rule about vegas. i'm sure you're familiar with it. let me reiterate it here: when you accidentally murder a virtual prostitute that you downloaded from a pizza place, you absolutely pretend it never happened. so we rolled her up in a rug and drove out to the desert and threw the rug in a ditch and drove back. a week later, after the wedding, we're sitting around watching the sun go down. conversation came to a halt and we all looked at each other. my buddy asked if we were going to be ok, and i stared wistfully at the horizon, eyebrows raised, and said, i don't know man. we didn't talk for a while after that. then weird shit started to happen. one of my friends, let's call him vince, went missing. few days later, a couple were at a discount rug place trying to buy an oriental rug and when the guy unrolled it, vince was in there, decapitated. they didn't find his head. then i get a call, another one of the guys, we'll call him vince, he tells me a cosplayer is standing outside his apartment window. she's been following him all day. the cops found him baking in a pizza oven a few blocks away, covered in fresh ricotta cheese, mozzarella, ham and sardines. sardines. barbaric. so i call up my buddy, my married buddy, and tell him we need to meet up. he sounds pretty shaken on the phone. we meet up at a sushi place where the sushi rotates around on a conveyor belt. my buddy says he keeps hearing this song when he goes to sleep. it's this high pitched girl vocal over an upbeat pop melody. he says the language is some ching chong nonsense. so i'm sitting there and my buddy excuses himself to use the bathroom. he's gone for a long time and i start to get a little worried that maybe he ran out on the bill. i get kind of hungry again and grab one of the sushi plates. as i'm taking the cover off i see what looks like a dick sitting on the plate. my buddy's dick. then the song starts playing. so i ran out of the restaurant, sped home, got my phone and some clothes and withdrew all my money from my bank accounts. hit the road. i try to only use free wi-fi at starbucks. five minutes at a time. i sleep in my car in places that aren't near any hotspots. i've made a list of places japanese people tend to avoid. so far north korea is number one. failing that, i guess i could hide in a giant uncensored vagina. yeah, i'm gonna be ok. right guys?

I don't know man.

lol

lol

flol

lol

rolling lol block

• show her some IDM, real music -- drum and BASS!

!! pop muisc with just the vocals. umm take control of the stereo. Force a vote etc. Even if it is her car (?)

being around people is making me internally flip out lately... and i realized that i haven't left the city limits in around 2 years. there's probably a correlation there.

  On 3/8/2013 at 5:34 AM, LimpyLoo said:

 

  On 3/8/2013 at 5:29 AM, isaki said:

that word makes my peehole tingle ( i think i have a fear of pissing blood -- never have done in my life though)

 

When I was in elementary school I got kicked in the side* and urinated blood for the next 3 years. (no joke)

 

 

*none of the doctors could figure out source of the problem, even after jamming a 2-foot tube in me

Shenanigans! I busted a blood vessel in a kidney once and peed blood, that shit hurt so bad I held it in for the next 17 hours, even though I had to pee more than I've ever had to pee in my life. When it came time to have surgery, it took six male nurses to hold me to the operating table and sedate me (I was seven). Then they jammed a tube up my johnson and into my kidney, which hurt even worse than peeing blood, which was already like Satan mouth-breathing on the soul of your nads.

Maybe the pain depends on where the blood is coming from or something, but there is no way a human child would put up with that sort of pain for three years. I was damn near keeled over the entire time.

  On 3/9/2013 at 3:08 AM, luke viia said:

 

  On 3/8/2013 at 5:34 AM, LimpyLoo said:

 

  On 3/8/2013 at 5:29 AM, isaki said:

that word makes my peehole tingle ( i think i have a fear of pissing blood -- never have done in my life though)

 

When I was in elementary school I got kicked in the side* and urinated blood for the next 3 years. (no joke)

 

 

*none of the doctors could figure out source of the problem, even after jamming a 2-foot tube in me

 

Shenanigans! I busted a blood vessel in a kidney once and peed blood, that shit hurt so bad I held it in for the next 17 hours, even though I had to pee more than I've ever had to pee in my life. When it came time to have surgery, it took six male nurses to hold me to the operating table and sedate me (I was seven). Then they jammed a tube up my johnson and into my kidney, which hurt even worse than peeing blood, which was already like Satan mouth-breathing on the soul of your nads.

 

Maybe the pain depends on where the blood is coming from or something, but there is no way a human child would put up with that sort of pain for three years. I was damn near keeled over the entire time.

Shenanigans? My story is (embarrassingly) 100% true. And furthermore:

When I'd take a piss the blood came at the very end, And that's when it would sting. And yeah I totally used to hold it because I dreaded taking a piss. In 5th grade I was taking a walk with my girlfriend from school back to our neighborhood and I had been holding it since lunch and I couldn't hold it anymore and I pissed my pants. She broke up with me soon after.