I just came out

  On 11/9/2011 at 7:13 PM, OneToThirtySix said:

So now my marriage is into this bizarre roller coaster of "we're okay, we're not okay, dinner is nice, crying and writing nasty notes to a lesser extent".

 

I HAVE to get my trucking job back, it's the only way I can see us both getting out of this sane...

dude, what did you expect? you did the right thing and it does take courage to be honest to yourself, but don't act surprised that your wife is crushed. a relationship that she's put years of her life into has suddenly fallen apart.

she has every right to be upset because, from her perspective, you've been lying since day one. it's conflicting because she probably still loves you and wants to be supportive.

what are your plans? you keep talking about some job... is this related at all to you getting divorced and moving out? because that's what you need to be doing. don't keep leading this woman on.

stop being retarded and start taking steps so the two of you can move on with your lives.

  On 11/9/2011 at 3:30 PM, luke viia said:

pretty sure that souls are disembodied by definition, i've always thought of the concept as pretty asexual.

 

What do you think does reside in the soul? If something so fundamental as what we find sexually attractive isn't in there, what other parts of our self aren't included, either?

I don't think she was ever your actual "Wife" then...

How can you be married to someone you don't even know on that level?

You guys need to reevaluate your situation completely and take it from there...

She deserves an apology... You deserve to deal with the consequences of your actions...

Remember, You experience the state of consciousness that corresponds to your thoughts, words and deeds.

oh come on, give the guy a break. seems like hes just as confused as his wife is.

  On 11/9/2011 at 10:22 PM, Z_B_Z said:

oh come on, give the guy a break. seems like hes just as confused as his wife is.

i don't understand what you're implying his wife is confused about.

  On 11/9/2011 at 10:22 PM, Z_B_Z said:

oh come on, give the guy a break. seems like hes just as confused as his wife is.

Knowingly deceiving someone as he did is very different than his wife failing to be intuitive or wise...

With the information we have on his "Wife" we are unaware at this time if his wife is "Confused"

Relationships are far more than a game... It's a soul contract...

@ hoodie

maybe how shes come to find her self in this situation? is it really that hard to imagine she might be feeling some confusion as well?

  On 11/9/2011 at 10:29 PM, enxyme said:

  On 11/9/2011 at 10:22 PM, Z_B_Z said:

oh come on, give the guy a break. seems like hes just as confused as his wife is.

 

Knowingly deceiving someone as he did is very different than his wife failing to be intuitive or wise...

 

With the information we have on his "Wife" we are unaware at this time if his wife is "Confused"

 

Relationships are far more than a game... It's a soul contract...

he was deceiving himself

  On 11/9/2011 at 10:29 PM, enxyme said:

  On 11/9/2011 at 10:22 PM, Z_B_Z said:

oh come on, give the guy a break. seems like hes just as confused as his wife is.

 

Knowingly deceiving someone as he did is very different than his wife failing to be intuitive or wise...

 

With the information we have on his "Wife" we are unaware at this time if his wife is "Confused"

 

Relationships are far more than a game... It's a soul contract...

i don't think he knowingly deceived her... i can understand sexual confusion because we live in a society where homosexuality is still looked down upon & those cultural pressures can really fuck a person's identity up.

but it still upsets me because he seems so flippant in this thread. of course, we don't know the whole situation and how he's acting at home, so it's really not smart to judge. i just can't help but sympathize with his wife. as a hetero chick, i imagine that if my partner were to come out as gay, it would be a huge blow to me in a variety of ways. having something so sacred and special reduced to a lie... damn. it must hurt.

  On 11/9/2011 at 10:32 PM, Z_B_Z said:

@ hoodie

 

maybe how shes come to find her self in this situation? is it really that hard to imagine she might be feeling some confusion as well?

 

i feel like implying that she's confused is marginalizing her emotions. any anger or sadness is an understandable reaction and not mere "confusion."

  On 11/9/2011 at 10:39 PM, Hoodie said:

 

i feel like implying that she's confused is marginalizing her emotions. any anger or sadness is an understandable reaction and not mere "confusion."

well i dont feel that way. you can be angry, sad and confused in equal measure.

I was friends with two closeted gays at university. One of them was 'straight' while I knew him and didn't come out even to me until years later.

He dated attractive girls and loved hearing us "locker talk" about the poon we'd gotten then night before, etc...

He was never confused. He was scared.

  On 11/9/2011 at 10:39 PM, Hoodie said:

  On 11/9/2011 at 10:29 PM, enxyme said:

  On 11/9/2011 at 10:22 PM, Z_B_Z said:

oh come on, give the guy a break. seems like hes just as confused as his wife is.

 

Knowingly deceiving someone as he did is very different than his wife failing to be intuitive or wise...

 

With the information we have on his "Wife" we are unaware at this time if his wife is "Confused"

 

Relationships are far more than a game... It's a soul contract...

 

i don't think he knowingly deceived her... i can understand sexual confusion because we live in a society where homosexuality is still looked down upon & those cultural pressures can really fuck a person's identity up.

 

but it still upsets me because he seems so flippant in this thread. of course, we don't know the whole situation and how he's acting at home, so it's really not smart to judge. i just can't help but sympathize with his wife. as a hetero chick, i imagine that if my partner were to come out as gay, it would be a huge blow to me in a variety of ways. having something so sacred and special reduced to a lie... damn. it must hurt.

 

  On 11/9/2011 at 10:32 PM, Z_B_Z said:

@ hoodie

 

maybe how shes come to find her self in this situation? is it really that hard to imagine she might be feeling some confusion as well?

 

 

i feel like implying that she's confused is marginalizing her emotions. any anger or sadness is an understandable reaction and not mere "confusion."

it does hurt. I feel like I could have been anybody. Just the first girl to come along that he could use for cover. I was always honest, always open. I was his wife, it just turns out he was never my husband.

I just went back in

(I just went back in)

oh shit maings

good thread has gotten much better with the introduction of conversation over the soul and enxyms entrance...

had no idea his wife was posting here too.

i feel for the both of them, but im definitely bowing out of this thread.

and that

  On 11/9/2011 at 11:12 PM, Plum said:

I just went back in

(I just went back in)

Doan' you hear me?- shet de do'!

  On 11/9/2011 at 11:10 PM, moonchild said:

  On 11/9/2011 at 10:39 PM, Hoodie said:

  On 11/9/2011 at 10:29 PM, enxyme said:

  On 11/9/2011 at 10:22 PM, Z_B_Z said:

oh come on, give the guy a break. seems like hes just as confused as his wife is.

 

Knowingly deceiving someone as he did is very different than his wife failing to be intuitive or wise...

 

With the information we have on his "Wife" we are unaware at this time if his wife is "Confused"

 

Relationships are far more than a game... It's a soul contract...

 

i don't think he knowingly deceived her... i can understand sexual confusion because we live in a society where homosexuality is still looked down upon & those cultural pressures can really fuck a person's identity up.

 

but it still upsets me because he seems so flippant in this thread. of course, we don't know the whole situation and how he's acting at home, so it's really not smart to judge. i just can't help but sympathize with his wife. as a hetero chick, i imagine that if my partner were to come out as gay, it would be a huge blow to me in a variety of ways. having something so sacred and special reduced to a lie... damn. it must hurt.

 

  On 11/9/2011 at 10:32 PM, Z_B_Z said:

@ hoodie

 

maybe how shes come to find her self in this situation? is it really that hard to imagine she might be feeling some confusion as well?

 

 

i feel like implying that she's confused is marginalizing her emotions. any anger or sadness is an understandable reaction and not mere "confusion."

 

it does hurt. I feel like I could have been anybody. Just the first girl to come along that he could use for cover. I was always honest, always open. I was his wife, it just turns out he was never my husband.

:( *internet hug*

I'm sorry. I didn't want to scare one away. It justels a little better to have a place to openly talk about it. I promise I won't go all crazy or anything like that...

No no, please go crazy. That's what we genetically engineer at this site.

Well if you insist...

Puts on shawl and starts muttering while adopting thirty cats...

I feel bad for your wife. I hope you didn't know all along that you were gay and get married anyway cause that's pretty shitty to do to someone. otherwise congrats.

I'm putting together a fund for 1236's wife. I'll have the site up in a bit. Stay tuned.