stupid first world achievements and successes

Given how easy it appears for you to find fault in my actions I wouldn't consider your whincing disapproval an achievement, that's for sure.

Continues to pursue the removal of the sad amber liquid from this pint. NSW beer, carlton draught. It's ok actually, passes the time, first mouthful was the worst of it, heh.

(was half concerned that knocking a new south Wales beer would line me up for another usadding, the other half of me was nervous to mention mass produced beer in case that also triggered posts from an itchy sphincter finger)

I've unlocked the secrets of my brain. Now I can learn anything I want.

  On 12/11/2014 at 6:51 AM, logakght said:

I've unlocked the secrets of my brain. Now I can learn anything I want.

can you do that levitation thing? that's cool...

Sweet. Teach me oh swami, lord knows my distracted and less than determined brain needs tips and tricks of a powerful level to get this dumb arse to level up.

i've found an ingenious way to clean up the poop the rabbit does outside the tray. i put them in front of her, and she eats them! both groce and hilarious.

I have a huge oversupply of onions from my garden, enough to last most of a year. Want to store the lot but not sure if I can dry-store them well enough without losing them eventually. So I cut them all up and made a vast pot of caramelized onions, which I then batched into freezer bags. Now whenever I need onions I can chip a block off my giant onion ice cube. Home economics yo!

Lol at ginormous onion ice cube.

My girlfriend's answerphone message has remained unchanged since she was 13 (she's 23 now). I'm a 35 year old man who leaves messages for a 13 year old.

Hearing one of these is going to freak some gc, h q officer.

Probably the one I just left about taking my belt to her later tonight.

you need to change your interests again IMO

  On 12/12/2014 at 5:11 PM, kakapo said:

My girlfriend's answerphone message has remained unchanged since she was 13 (she's 23 now). I'm a 35 year old man who leaves messages for a 13 year old.

lol this is in the fwp thread too lol

  On 12/11/2014 at 6:16 AM, delet... said:

I'm trying to surreptitiously check out and perhaps meet the eyes of this delightful young maiden, whom my peripheral vision is telling me keeps craning her neck around to take a peak at me. But every time I look up from my phone and in her direction this upset with existence slag sitting on the table in front, positioned facing me, stares deep cowling diamond tipped daggers straight at me. This woman contains neither shame nor remorse, she won't even acknowledge the warmth of my smile, cronish trollfiend.

I think I'm going to get the fuck out of the legal profession. Who wants to start an Illuminati-type secret society with me, control teh worlds, make fat ¢ash yo, maybe hug some cute-as-fuck puppies at some point, it'll be great?

Goddamnit, "Chilluminati" is taken.

First item on the agenda on the road to global domination once you've founded your illuminati group.

- infiltrate the legal profession.

ha ha harrr.

  On 12/11/2014 at 6:16 AM, delet... said:

I'm trying to surreptitiously check out and perhaps meet the eyes of this delightful young maiden, whom my peripheral vision is telling me keeps craning her neck around to take a peak at me. But every time I look up from my phone and in her direction this upset with existence slag sitting on the table in front, positioned facing me, stares deep cowling diamond tipped daggers straight at me. This woman contains neither shame nor remorse, she won't even acknowledge the warmth of my smile, cronish trollfiend.

 

Oh good, my coffee done, might get a beer.

 

 

 

 

See there's positivity and light in my posts if you can find them. They can up the page count of the life successes thread.

So did you go over and say hello or what?

no, for two reason, she left whilst i was editing that post and her grandmother (no this isn't kakapo phone msg territory) was sitting at her table as well (no the grandmother wasn't the woman sitting directly in front of me, she seemed a kindly sort), oh and a third reason, i'm a big pussy.

heheheheheh.

Funny after that i walked further along through the shopping centre and sat down on some random big plastic sculptural seat thing with a plant in the middle of it. I'd walked past other seating areas that were occupied and i wanted a bit of peace, i was missing sleep because of the storm. Anyway i came to this big unoccupied space and plonked myself down and immediately a shop girl sat down strangely close, given the vast space available, to my left, who kept glancing up from her phone across at me and then a less appealing waddler sat to my right. So i got up and went to the pub for that beer.

This is why i stay at home most of the time chen, never have to rue decisions not made, standards not met and opportunities passed up.

  On 12/13/2014 at 12:12 AM, baph said:

I think I'm going to get the fuck out of the legal profession. Who wants to start an Illuminati-type secret society with me, control teh worlds, make fat ¢ash yo, maybe hug some cute-as-fuck puppies at some point, it'll be great?

 

Goddamnit, "Chilluminati" is taken.

"Trilluminati" and "Killuminati" are also taken fwiw fwp imo tbqh

  On 12/15/2014 at 4:23 AM, Candiru said:

 

  On 12/13/2014 at 12:12 AM, baph said:

I think I'm going to get the fuck out of the legal profession. Who wants to start an Illuminati-type secret society with me, control teh worlds, make fat ¢ash yo, maybe hug some cute-as-fuck puppies at some point, it'll be great?

 

Goddamnit, "Chilluminati" is taken.

"Trilluminati" and "Killuminati" are also taken fwiw fwp imo tbqh

 

So is Billuminati. And Philluminati: https://twitter.com/asapcroissant

  On 12/15/2014 at 6:28 AM, chenGOD said:

 

  On 12/15/2014 at 4:23 AM, Candiru said:

 

  On 12/13/2014 at 12:12 AM, baph said:

I think I'm going to get the fuck out of the legal profession. Who wants to start an Illuminati-type secret society with me, control teh worlds, make fat ¢ash yo, maybe hug some cute-as-fuck puppies at some point, it'll be great?

 

Goddamnit, "Chilluminati" is taken.

"Trilluminati" and "Killuminati" are also taken fwiw fwp imo tbqh

 

 

So is Billuminati. And Philluminati: https://twitter.com/asapcroissant

 

Seventh Donk Adventists

you're welcome.

Brohemian Grove?

First world broplebs

  On 12/13/2014 at 12:12 AM, baph said:

I think I'm going to get the fuck out of the legal profession. Who wants to start an Illuminati-type secret society with me, control teh worlds, make fat ¢ash yo, maybe hug some cute-as-fuck puppies at some point, it'll be great?

 

Goddamnit, "Chilluminati" is taken.

  On 12/15/2014 at 8:02 AM, baph said:

Brohemian Grove?

I'm in dude. Let's do this thing

Got a letter from the state saying I needed to claim an account in my name from a non-retirement mutual fund or the state will. Being a proud American, the thought of my country getting my money makes me sick to my stomach and violent with rage. So- confused as fuck, I contacted the investment company.

Turns out my drunken Irish grandfather put 250$ into some investing scheme in international securities in 1992 under my name, most likely to use for college in some hairbrained scotch-soaked moment of clarity in which he felt $250 was worth investing... Apparently he made good choices with where it was placed as I just retrieved access and full ownership of the account and it's now worth $18,956

That combined with my garden bonus ($500xlb @ 12ish lbs) I got this week has made me more money than the entirety of working a years worth of baking in high end kitchens used to two years ago.

Happy cat.

Congratulations!