stupid first world achievements and successes

Gone under 80 kilos, my target weight for the longest while. For my height, this is a very healthy skinny weight.

Feels good! Hope to lose another kilo or two to see if the remnants of podgy belly disappear completely. Only problem: some of my cool t-shirts / jackets don't fit right any more. :¬/

Finally got 4G on my phone which means I can now realistically watch porn on my phone while having a shit in the unisex toilets at work, while listening to young female interns having a shit in the cubicle next to me.

And no I'm not watching shit fetish porn while doing this, that would be disgusting.

  On 1/31/2015 at 4:05 PM, kakapo said:

Finally got 4G on my phone which means I can now realistically watch porn on my phone while having a shit in the unisex toilets at work, while listening to young female interns having a shit in the cubicle next to me.

 

And no I'm not watching shit fetish porn while doing this, that would be disgusting.

Splendid!

finally got to pick up the case of wine i won at the office party.

10,000,000 point combo on Tony Hawk's Underground

I ate some bad Hawaiian food yesterday and got food poisoning. On the toilet puking into a trash can while I felt knives in my stomach for a few hours. I had to go to the hospital and get IVs hooked up. Pure, 100% pain and terror.

Today I feel like a million bucks and booked a sky dive for tomorrow. That's how we do.

for real? that's some quick turnaround. the IVs must've sorted it right out.

Plus powerade and some anti nausea tabs. I'm actually hungry now.

  On 2/7/2015 at 2:44 AM, Candiru said:

I'm actually hungry now.

should go for some loco-moco or something!

(I doubt you're feeling like eating Hawaiian again so soon though)

Dude. FUCK Hawaiian food. Never eat at Ono's in Honolulu unless you want to expel everything but a baby from your body.

THATS where you got sick?

Lol I've actually eaten there! It was either that or taco bell which was closeby. Dude sorry to hear that.

Yeah everybody at the hospital was shocked to hear it. Apparently a 4 1/2 star Yelp rating = gruesome body horror and old world suffering.

can't truss it

This is why you just eat spam and POG in Hawaii m8

Troof. But seriously tho I'm waiting for the shuttle van right now, son.

Jumping out of planes ain't shit.

I did it. I won

new walking dead tomorrow

  On 2/8/2015 at 5:33 AM, Candiru said:

I did it. I won

you have any pics or video? Congrats btw, it would take a lot to get me to jump out of a plane intentionally.... lol

  On 2/8/2015 at 5:33 AM, Candiru said:

I did it. I won

You should have eaten the Hawaiian again before you dived so you could projectile vomit / shit on the way down, as if you were trailing coloured smoke behind you, except made of puke and poop.

lol

Groce

wololo

I didn't get the pics or video but I got a neat little certificate to put on my refrigerator. I learned that when you're 14,000 feet in the air it actually feels like you're underwater. Against all odds, I conquered bouts of lingering diarrhea and pulled mad stunts. When the parachute deploys you better have your junk in place because your harness shows no mercy.

The view of the north shore of Oahu from up there was fucking incredible. The things I've seen with these eyes.

10,000€ IDM profit

I have a fever, and I am on a mix of albuterol inhaler & codeine syrup. On top of that I haven't smoked weed in a month. I haven't been this fucked up in a long time. The bronchitis is the downside, but honestly i don't mind.