Online Dating Horror Stories

I had no idea Disney obsession was a thing among adult women, beyond a very niche group of people.  Seems to be right up there with scuba diving (which is something I can actually get behind, but I never would have guessed how popular it is).

Also, I've developed a bit of an infatuation with one of the Bumble ladies based on quarantine chats alone... which seems to be going both ways if I'm reading it right.  Who knows if that will translate to meat-space interaction, or when that will possibly occur.  It's the first time I've "developed feelings" for someone via chat.  I think it can be attributed largely to the fact that she shares the same weird hours as me (most of our chats have been between midnight-4am).  There are much better reasons than that, but that's the one that's unique to this situation.  Not many night owls around here.

  On 4/4/2020 at 9:05 PM, Zephyr_Nova said:

There are much better reasons than that

It's the first time I've "developed feelings" for someone via chat...

someone's getting hawt n00dz

  On 4/4/2020 at 9:05 PM, Zephyr_Nova said:

I had no idea Disney obsession was a thing among adult women, beyond a very niche group of people.  Seems to be right up there with scuba diving (which is something I can actually get behind, but I never would have guessed how popular it is).

Also, I've developed a bit of an infatuation with one of the Bumble ladies based on quarantine chats alone... which seems to be going both ways if I'm reading it right.  Who knows if that will translate to meat-space interaction, or when that will possibly occur.  It's the first time I've "developed feelings" for someone via chat.  I think it can be attributed largely to the fact that she shares the same weird hours as me (most of our chats have been between midnight-4am).  There are much better reasons than that, but that's the one that's unique to this situation.  Not many night owls around here.

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Same thing happened to me one time and when I met her it turned out she was fat. I sexed her anyway. Not really into fat women per se but I don't get the contempt. Fat women are highly sexable if things aren't too out of proportion, also lots of meat-space

So it's happening.  I've got 2 walk dates setup during the the plague.  Side by side, 6 feet apart.  Bring it.

will your erection reach that far?

...does this answer your question?

...because I wrote that song and it's 100% autobiographical and true.

^ Already posted in another thread.

Good clip, though. WATMM needs more King Missile.

Here's one with Beavis & Butthead:

Yeah, this is the second time I posted that vid this week.  I'm running out of material.

No puss puss allowed, zeph.

EDIT because of quarantine.

I tried to maintain the 6 feet, but she kept inching closer during the walk.  4 feet is prob closer to the truth.  She was pleasant to talk to, could definitely see us being friends.  No horror to speak of, other than the sheer numbers of people out and about with the same idea we had.  Fuck.  Fuck wasn't our idea, by the way.  That was a group condemnation fuck.  But not in the orgy sense.  Group Condemation Fuck is definitely my new project name though.  Got a nice synth pop ring to it.

  On 4/10/2020 at 11:57 PM, Zephyr_Nova said:

I tried to maintain the 6 feet, but she kept inching closer during the walk.  4 feet is prob closer to the truth. 

slut

  On 4/10/2020 at 11:57 PM, Zephyr_Nova said:

I tried to maintain the 6 feet, but she kept inching closer during the walk.  4 feet is prob closer to the truth.  She was pleasant to talk to, could definitely see us being friends.  No horror to speak of, other than the sheer numbers of people out and about with the same idea we had.  Fuck.  Fuck wasn't our idea, by the way.  That was a group condemnation fuck.  But not in the orgy sense.  Group Condemation Fuck is definitely my new project name though.  Got a nice synth pop ring to it.

Dude it's plenty of fish not plenty of friends

Yeah, fuck friends you better get that tuna stank on you.

  On 4/4/2020 at 9:05 PM, Zephyr_Nova said:

Also, I've developed a bit of an infatuation with one of the Bumble ladies based on quarantine chats alone... 

We met up for a stroll that lasted about 3 hours.  The whole time it felt totally natural, no awkwardness (even minor), and afterwards we resumed our usual online chat routine.  She's been practicing Scrabble online ever since our first game, and is into making it a daily 2am thing.  She wanted to join me on a Skip delivery shift, but my room mates vetoed that idea.  Anyway, this one actually seems like it's becoming something... although the lack of physical contact for the next while is obivously is its own issue.  But as far as genuinely liking each other, a lot - that much is firmly established.  Weird way to start a relationship though... if it becomes that.  Possibly it'll just be a good friendship, but I think it's that at the very least.  She even said "if we don't end up dating, we at least have to be really good friends."

Sorry, I realize that's a pretty boring update from anyone else's perspective.

More amusingly, I was just nodding off to sleep, when suddenly a Bumble profile write-up reading: "Don't okay.  Coronavirus" flashed in my mind's eye, which prompted me to laugh myself awake.  Great write-up.  Definitely using it.

Going on a second date with that woman who I've really been vibing with... meeting up at a lake tomorrow.  Damn this social distancing.  But also, in an unexpected twist, I matched with two other women today, one of whom has Boards of Canada as her top Spotify artist.  Normally this would be great, but given my infatuation with this other woman I perceive it as a threat.  But... of course, most of the time these don't turn into anything, so I have to keep my options open.  Dating is weird.  Dating during pandemics is weirder.  She's obviously reading this, so let's forget I said anything.  Anyone got any good post-pandemic date stories?

  On 4/20/2020 at 7:33 AM, Zephyr_Nova said:

Going on a second date with that woman who I've really been vibing with... meeting up at a lake tomorrow.  Damn this social distancing.  But also, in an unexpected twist, I matched with two other women today, one of whom has Boards of Canada as her top Spotify artist.  Normally this would be great, but given my infatuation with this other woman I perceive it as a threat.  But... of course, most of the time these don't turn into anything, so I have to keep my options open.  Dating is weird.  Dating during pandemics is weirder.  She's obviously reading this, so let's forget I said anything.  Anyone got any good post-pandemic date stories?

You're right, I am reading it 

Fuck yes. 

LOL 

Had some midnight chinese take-out at her friend's ocean waterfront property with a toasty bonfire keeping the covids incinerated between us.  Then went for a walk along the water/sat at the beach for while (just the two of us at that  point).  Got home at 4:20, but don't smoke pot so... no celebration joint.  But felt pretty high anyway.  Now I'm too buzzed to sleep for another couple hours I'm sure.  But damned if this one isn't working out.   SO MUCH HORROR.  There was some unidentified animal screeching in the dark for a while there while we ate chow mein.  Scary stuff.

  On 4/25/2020 at 1:50 PM, Zephyr_Nova said:

Had some midnight chinese take-out at her friend's ocean waterfront property with a toasty bonfire keeping the covids incinerated between us. 

nice

Update on my online dating story: turned out he is married (altho separated) and all of a sudden did not want to have sex with me anymore but wanted to keep meeting up and talk about stuff. Weird.

lol

not up for it

^lol

I've found myself in a strange online relationship with an artist girl in california that I met via IG. Nudes have been exchanged. She has done drawings and paintings of mine and they are on her account. 

We talk via DM twice a day. When it's morning for me and evening for her and vice versa.

We sync music and movies and youtube videos.

  On 5/13/2020 at 7:54 PM, hello spiral said:

^lol

I know I sounded like a horrible person, but i am actually nice. or am I? 
this quarantine is fucking with my mind big time

  On 5/13/2020 at 10:38 PM, ropprecht said:

^lol

but your story sounds very nice and it warms my heart so I guess I am not a horrible person

I'm still chatting daily with that last woman I met up with, and meeting up when possible.  We were going to do some splatter painting in her backyard on Sat, but she came down with a cold day of.  She works at a hospital, so got screen for the 'vid right away and is clear.  Woot.  We've agreed to disregard the social distancing rules in relation to one another, and are meeting again on Fri night.  We're both picturing it being a long term thing at this point.  She caught herself worrying about my retirement plans recently (lol)... which is kind of flattering.  I of course have none... other than to pull what my uncle did and land a government job when I'm 50 with no more dreams left.  But yeah, I think this is going to work, at least for a while in the foreseeable future.